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If a dude uses a woman's womb to create "his" legacy (all children belong to the woman more) and he doesn't end up with her for the rest of his life, it's usually because he planned from the very start to get what he wanted and get out.
Women who date these types of men are being used. If you don't give EVERYTHING you have to someone who birthed humans for you, then you're a user on the ultimate level.
A lot of women think that they aren't part of the problem when they date user men, but even going on dates with men like this props them up socially, when they SHOULD be spending time figuring out how to fix things with or provide for their ex.
When you date a man with kids, he is using you. He may jump through particular hoops that he didn't before (including finally doing dad shit), but you're basically getting with a dude who intentionally bombed a woman's life.
Single dads are almost always the problem, and women who date them lower everyone's standards.
The good single dad Atticus Finch type does not exist.
I have no interest in single fathers because I'm convinced that most single fathers aren't looking for a partner to share their life with; they're looking for a nanny that they don't have to pay. Also being a stepmother is a thankless job. You have all the responsibilities of a mother but you don't have any power and the children will probably resent you no matter what you do. TBF to the children, their resentment is understandable because their father has rushed out and replaced their mother with another woman as if she were a broken appliance.
I would never date a single father. I’m not getting involved with “baby mama drama”, plus like another commenter said, 99% of the time these single father men have failed his partner and children.
I was in a live-in relationship with what most would consider a good guy (with a few caveats) during my 24-27 years, he had a kid. Even though he only spent time with the boy occasionally, maybe a few times a month, the expectations on me were absurd for my own age as a child free woman who never expressed a desire to be a mother. I was supposed to accept everything about this little brat who complained about my home cooked meals and was generally unfriedly and spoied by his rich mom.
And imagine my shock and surprise when when I found the kid (alongside the boyfriend) using expensive equipment that belonged to me, and when I said, hey, thats mine and you didnt even ask to use it, I got a whole lecture and was shamed for my lack of cooperation & for even saying anything about it in front of the kid. 0/10 would not recommend.
Yeah, there miiiggghhhtt be exceptions but seriously, dating single dad with minor kids is often like playing on nightmare mode.
If the wife had passed away, he has an excuse compare you to the wife. You can never win against the dead. If she's alive, you're going to be involved in family drama and might have to deal with her on top of your relationship with the man and his kids. In both situations, the kid is going to compare you with their mom. They might hate you for trying to replace their mom's place in the family and for taking their dad's attention and time (which is understandable).
In-laws might like the previous wife better, or if they hate her, you're going to be compared with her in another toxic ways. Add the ex's family into the mix lol, they might dislike you for taking her place.
it's a shit deal enough even if the man doesn't 'use' the gf as the kids' nanny and wife replacement.
I'd consider a relationship with a single dad if he stayed single when raising the kids, his kids are grown adults and well adjusted. Also, it's a must that they have a great relationship with their dad (proving that he treats them right).
I expect equal prioritization. A single dad simply cannot provide that . Especially with younger kids .
“ my kids are first !”
Great! They SHOULD be! But where does that leave me ? After your kids and your job etc I don’t think seeing you once every other week is enough ….
There was a pick me trying to shame those that didn’t think this was an amazing arrangement on THAT website we all know and love: “ unlike others ,I have my own job and hobbies I don’t need him around 24/7! I KNOW I’m a priority !”
Who said anything about 24/7??? Me , I just don’t want to hear “ no sorry I can’t” time and time again because of your children and their schedules . I’m looking for something serious .
Anyway , tons of respect for the men that wait until their kids are independent or out of the house .
I was actually Watching this tiktok compilation yesterday about why its never a good idea to date absentee fathers
https://youtu.be/2bSa2wTRr2Q?si=vmrEEXc5PVVQZL1-
Yeah, I would never be roped into raising someone else's bastards.
Single dads are broken providers for their children, their baby mommas, and any women who have the misfortune of dating them.
I disagree with this post. Of course it is important to be aware of potential pitfalls of dating men with children. But having children with someone does not automatically make a man LV. It's fine for women to not date fathers if it's their preference. For some of us, it is not in and of itself a dealbreaker.