What do you ladies think about a whirlwind engagement?

Four months is way too early and seems like a red flag for lovebombing or other obsessive/possessive behaviour on his side. Maybe he is trying to trap her and lock her down that way, so he can let his mask drop and stop putting in effort, like many men do after they think they "have" you. She's not pregnant, is she?

There is no way she has properly vetted him after four months. They are still in the early, "crush and rose colored glasses"-phase of their relationship and getting to know each other.

I've had a bottle of body lotion in my bathroom for longer than 4 months.

Your friend needs to RUN.

They are both way too young to get married, especially him. Men mature way slower than women, so she's basically engaged to a teenager. Ick. Can he even provide??

It is impossible to properly vet a man you've known for 4 months because it's easy to keep the mask on. What does she know about his character? His integrity? How he behaves when the chips are down? When he feels threatened? Vulnerable? She has no fucking clue. He's a stranger to her.

Choosing a mate is the BIGGEST life decision a woman can make. Statistically, the guy sleeping in her bed is the one most likely to end her life. She must think VERY carefully about the guy she's inviting into her life.

This is a terrible situation and your friend needs to smarten up. She's not old, there's no rush to the altar.

Best of luck to your friend.

If he is 23, it would be a definite no from me as it would be a maturity issue.

Is it worth asking your friend that if the relationship is that strong that they are engaged already, what is the rush?

For me personally, an engagement would be at the two year mark as it is long enough for the honeymoon period to have ended and for him to be properly vetted.

That's too soon. Not enough time to vet. I have 2 female friends that met and married a man within months and heard stories of women who've done so. Most were love bombed, some of the women had prior history of abuse, some rebounded. None of them had a high value marriage.

It'd be a different story if they have known each other for a long time and decided to marry after 4 months of dating.

4 months is waaaay too soon. They don’t even know each other.

They’re both young. So I could see her knowing what she wants. But he’s 23. I don’t think he has a clue.

I agree with the love bombing on his end.

But something I’d want to know is, does she have abandonment issues or low self esteem or anything like that?

Because I feel like couples that get engaged super quick like this tend to have a love bombing/can’t ever be single mix.

Hopefully for both of them this will be a long engagement

He's very young. There would be a ~1(?)% chance that he knows what he wants, is high value, and will go the distance. More likely than not he will 'out grow her' and go for a newer model within a few years.

Four months?! Is he like in the military or something?

Waaaay too short, especially for a young person. You'd need to vet out his family dynamic....they'll be on their best behavior at LEAST the first few times so you'll know nothing useful for awhile. She might have vetted out "has a job"....but does he KEEP them? SO many questions before you marry someone! How can you possibly find all this out in 4 months...hopefully they plan a LONG engagement. If he isn't cool with that....red flag in and of itself.

What’s her ring like?

If it works for them, great. But it’s definitely not for me.

I wouldn’t get engaged unless it was at least 6 months in.

No.