So, I need advice. There was that post I made a while ago about the cute guy I thought I'd get along with. Turns out he cheated on the mother of his kids, effectively destroying everything, so he could do kinky shit with some younger women because he felt like it was too demeaning to do to his baby momma. Today, as maybe like, some kind of flirting, or maybe trying to freak me out, he asked if I was into strangulation. I said "no, unless a dude's killing me, and not getting off." He asked, "but what if he gets off on you dying?" Told my coworkers just to test the misogyny here: A few of them were disgusted. A few laughed at his "joke." Some went on about how they love to be strangled. Here's the thing. I can read this guy. He doesn't respect women who are into what he's into. He knows I know what he is, and he responds to me with a sort of calculated testing, but I think he's mostly amused and confused that I'm not just going along with things. I'm extremely cold with him, and that drives him a little nuts, to where he's started to be mildly rude and attention seeking. I kind of want to destroy this guy from the inside using his own life choices against him. How can I shame him? I'm not afraid of him because there are cameras everywhere. I've told everyone about everything he's done without mentioning his name, so all I'd have to do to ruin him is finally namedrop him. What's the cruelest thing I can do here? Dude's a fucking scumbag pretending to be a teddy bear. I hate that shit.
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You don't.
You are centering this man in your life. Stop it.
Don't have casual conversations. Communicate with him as little as possible as required for your job.
Your goal at work is to thrive professionally to ensure your individual financial stability and facilitate a better paying job after this 1.
None of your energy should be aimed at this scrote.
You do nothing. You wait. Scrotes like this will always screw up in a major way at work at some point. All you have to do then is discreetly draw attention to it and not cover for or save him.
Um you need to report him to HR like yesterday. There is no possible situation or reason that justifies him talking about sexual strangulation at work. Unless you are both adult film stars.
Report him to HR, and stop talking to him altogether. If he approaches you, ask if it's for work, and if it's not, tell him you don't want to hear it.
Inform the baby mama because she deserves to know what she shackled herself to.
Then nothing. He doesn't deserve your attention. Once you give it to him he wins
Next time he brings up sexual strangulation at work, you need to file a sexual harassment charge against him. That is INSANE that you're even subjected to that topic at work. And a guy who will strangle you WILL kill you. It's the #1 predictor of future homicide.
If and when the time arises, casually and dismissively refer to him as the strangler.
Do it like the 1600s and "accidentally" slip nightshade in his morning coffee