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Keeps crashing
It doesn't seem as if you can sort posts by 'new' to see developments within a thread.
It doesn't seem as if you can sort posts by best, for if you have limited time and just want to get a snapshot of the best posts.
You can't see specific replies to your own comments.
You can't 'search'.
Maybe there IS a way to do 2-5, but the fact that a casual search on how to do that yielded no results means it is not intuitive.
I understand that Reddit was a toxic swamp.
I understand that the mods were overwhelmed.
But FDS was a lighthouse that is now turned off, leaving people to flounder on the rocks.
Sometimes seeing posts there on reacting to other Reddit posts were lightbulb moments. Someone in advice forums going 'my man is a Lvm' getting 'TaLk To hIM' bs. Then FDS comments saying block and delete, showing the way.
Yes. We shouldn't put up with the swamp of Reddit.
But the truth is that it is a platform for a wide audience.
Honestly, since you shut down the sub Reddit how many unique threads have been started here?
I can see many view on the 'why we left Reddit' post. But how many are unique views, and how many are people like me, how have now clicked in about ten times to see new posts?
I have avoided this platform because of points 1-5. I was ALWAYS telling people to check out FDS on Reddit, but honestly I would not direct people here. I know there is a podcast but many people already have their podcasts and audio books they listen to. I would prefer to read my content so that I can access it quickly. Like those recipes where you first have to read that grandma used to make this cake when the grandkids were sick, and one day... I just want the recipe. And with FDS, I'd rather not have to listen to a podcast to get the content.
SOLUTIONS
I don't know if you've seen r/Amish. It is a locked sub. You can't post anything on it. Do the same for FDS. It will just be in a museum, behind glass. Nothing new, but the THOUSANDS of comments providing advice and examples are invaluable.
I know the mods dealt with a lot. There are queens who support FDS who earn a lot of money. If we break it into a 2 hour shift, say twice a week, so that no one gets overwhelmed. In a day, you are paying $240 for mod coverage. I am sure you can find 365 queens who would each pledge $240 per year to pay for mods. Or even breaking the fundraising into days, with people throwing in ten dollars or whatever towards a mod for Thursday 18th May, and so on. Lock the site at times there is no mod coverage.
Get the handbook made available as a kindle book to sell. I know some people have pdfs of it but not everyone is able to easily access that format. Either have it for free on the kindle store to spread the message widely, or charge for it and make clear what the money is for. E.g podcast.
Your point about the userbility of the forum is taken, and we'll look into alternative forum software ASAP because Wix has been slow to respond to our upgrade requests and we share your frustration in using it.
As for the rest - Why would we build an inventory of posts to keep directing traffic to a site that actively supports everything we stand against? Why on's god green earth would we raise money to moderate a subreddit on reddit rather than just build something new?
All we are doing is earning them ad money, expanding their userbase, and subjecting female users to more toxicity.
Many women were finding the FDS subreddit by Googling dating questions.
If women have dating and sex and general female interest questions, its best if we build a backlog of posts on this site so it comes up in the google search before Reddit, as we are all aware of Reddit's bias.
Furthermore - Reddit owns all of the FDS posts. We can't just make a handbook of everyone's posts and distribute it because its against the terms of service & they have copyrights.
If you care about saving women on Reddit - then message them and redirect them here. We are not going back.
I put in hours to write reddit threads that no one ever saw because they wouldn't get published. At least here there is a chance someone sees my content. In reddit I was still not approved after putting in the work, 1.5 years. That is half a BA degree. I hate reddit and tbh. developed animosity towards our old subreddit because of this. I dont speak like a typical woman because of Aspergers and could almost never get a post of mine approved. No only was it a continuation of being alienated and shut out by other women - a phenomenon which I experienced my whole life and which has made me vulnerable to male abuse - but also this prevented certain voices of women from being heard.
The app keeps sending me notifications even though I have turned them off in several places.
On your third solution: The handbook needs to be published as a book, kindle and paperback. I think that would be an amazing way to raise funding for the people dedicating their time to keep FDS the amazing resource that it is.
Yes. I hate it here. And I desperately need the old posts 😭
One day idk how I searched for FDS and got hooked into it immediately. If it weren't on Reddit at that time , I'm pretty sure I would have never found it. And I can't imagine my life without FDS in it. Honestly I'm really disappointed by what the admins did instead of expanding their mod team. You don't have the right to do so without exhausting all other alternatives.
The comment thread malfunction / bad user design is really quite terrible though. It does not show which comment I was replying to. The comment thread does not go beyond the second layer. For eg I was praising Person X for her wise comment but Person Y replied omg thank you and I’m like… Should I tell her I was NOT referring to her? Yknow like this is so unnecessary.
Im torn on this subject tbh.
On one hand I do enjoy that I can speak freely here and not worry that someone from some other sub will dig through my history and try to use my FDS posts against me.
On the other hand, it is a bummer that my reddit feed no longer has my daily dose of FDS knowledge in it. As someone who carefully curated my reddit to not include subs about relationships, dating, anything male related at ALL. I dont really see a lot of the "bad" sides of reddit, barring my occasional browsing of r/askreddit. So it definitely does suck that now my beautiful creation of female only subs + FDS is no longer alive, and now Im back to only normal reddit posts.
Its hard, I completely understand the mods points about reddit, and the modding experience in general being unpaid and laborous. But I see we only have like 1500 members here whereas the reddit numbers were climbing into something substantial.
On reddit I did feel like as much as it was a struggle, our community was making a difference. It kinda sucks we had to tuck tail, I have this sinking feeling that the scrotes of reddit have won and our community will fade. That alone is what makes me sad about FDS leaving reddit.
I have to agree, I hate trying to use this new format, and I am sad to see this site having only a fraction of the reach or content. I have recommended the subreddit to so many women. FDS saved me at a time when I really needed it, and I never would have found it or been influenced by it here. I don't feel recommending this new site to women who need it will be received or help the way the subreddit would have helped. I literally signed up for an account just to say this, and there is no reason for me to come back.
This site has the same functionality of an early 2000s livejournal and it is really unfair that over 200 thousand women's voices were silenced by the mods shuttling us over here.
Tons of women would've served as mods if it was too much for the mod team.
Thousands of us deserved to vote on whether our outlet from the bs that is the modern world of 50/50 dates and apps could be ripped away from us onto baby's first website.
Posts, comments, advice, and sisterhood all gone due to the few mods wanting to flex on reddit. Reddit is a cesspool? No sh*t! All social media is, it's designed by and for men.
That's why you need female dominated groups so people can see they are not alone and to change views.
Who needs male mods infiltrating women's groups to destroy them when the women over here did the same thing.
I love the site. It’s buggy, yes, but a great start. A bit annoying to have extra clicks but much better than being at Reddit’s mercy. FDS will be kicked out of Reddit sooner or later anyways, so it’s not a good long term strategy to stay there. Better start calling the shots ourselves NOW.
To be honest, I find the posts here as of better quality compared to the reddit posts, which were mostly screenshots and memes lately.
I just want to say that I appreciate this post and the discussion here.
Exactly. I've started to see teen girls take up FDS concepts. Now, nothing.
I really hope you guys start the subreddit back up. fds attrcts a lot of negative attention on Reddit but thats often how women find the sub in the first place. I already noticed fds ideas and lingo being used less when for a while it was picking up momentum in the mainstream. I’m positive the subreddit had to do it with it because it was getting really popular. reddits a lot more accessible and easier to use despite It’s downfalls. Like they say, the best things in life don’t come easy. It might be harder work but it’s worth the cause! I hope it can be restored, I’m willing to mod when I have time too
Also,
1. There is a search function on the wix app - the magnifying glass in the right corner.
2. You're probably not seeing a lot of the new posts because you're not verified.
I also got very frustrated with the app. I find the website quite hard to navigate as well. I don't find the content as engaging so far and I have to make a concerted effort to come and see new posts, which means really I'm only here once a week if that. While I am verified I do see the site running into the same issues they did with Reddit with there eventually being a huge backlog of requests to approve.
Good points. I wonder if this is the reason there are significantly less members here now.
Appreciate the work you all continue to do. I miss some of the old content but the community will build itself over and over again because it’s work that needs to be done and women support and look after other women.
As long as we’re asking for features, can we have an option for reporting posts that are clearly men? I feel like there’s a few more of them that could be deleted and blocked out of this space. (the report post only has “offensive” “spam” options—and the posts written by men here are obviously both).
Hello Ladies / Mods, I have a server and I can easily setup a WordPress / Drupal / or other platform forum, and am happy to do so. I've been working in Tech for over 20 years, so I do have pretty significant experience with all of this.
@Astria - please feel free to DM me. I can setup an example site which we can modify to match the color scheme. This would solve all of the concerns that have been expressed in this thread. I do agree that there's several frustrations with Wix, but there's definitely ways to solve them :)