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Many men I've encountered, both on OLD and in the wild, have emphasized, usually early on, that they "value experiences over things". Often, it'll be the one and only line in their OLD profile.
In my ignorant 20s, I went on a few dates with an investment banker who earned over $500k/year. He had the audacity to tell me, on a first date, that he was sick of women who "just wanted things" and had nothing in common with them. When I asked him what that meant, he didn't provide an answer. Of course, he always made sure to split the check with me. Clown didn't even provide me a sushi dinner.
This is just one of many similar experiences I've had.
It's OK for a woman to express that she values experiences over material possessions. Women tend to use this phrase with purity of intention.
However, when a man utters this phrase in the early stages of dating, it is absolutely a block and delete. He is telling you in no uncertain terms that he refuses to be a financial provider (or a provider of any sort) and intends to use you for sex.
I kind of hate how this mantra has become so popular in general. I hold no judgment against people who genuinely feel that way, but I always get a sense that it’s also meant to demean people who value things more, like we’re lesser people.
I value things more. I work hard and like to come home to nice furniture and nice things. I have a really expensive OLED TV that I basically use just to watch ASMR videos and I don’t regret it one bit. My sheets cost $250. They’re worth it. Expensive is not always just for showing off. I would like to travel more someday, but for now I prefer to spend my money on the environment I’ll be living in for 50 weeks out of the year. Again that’s me and I know others feel differently. I just hate how there’s such a stigma against (mostly women) people who do value things.
As for men, you’re absolutely right. He’s just letting you know upfront that you aren’t to expect anything from him. Men also say this line as a way to let you know that they don’t save anything and have a “live for today” attitude. They think money is only needed for “things.” 🙄
A man on 500k a year went 50/50 with you?! He should have been showering you and your friends and family with money, the stingy bastard.
An investment banker tried to convince you he’s not materialistic - hilarious. He literally went into that industry to make as much money as possible to buy things.
Women who like things are gold diggers, but male investment bankers are ambitious, titans of industry🫠😖
Men ☕ They go into highly lucrative careers so they can buy tons of shit and gain access to women (or so they hope), but then accuse women of being too materialistic. It's all projection and bitterness. Sure, they want a woman to want them for something else than money, but they know they have nothing else to offer. So the woman is supposed to create some magical “experience” that reassures him that he's a great catch. Pass. My ex was pretty much like that; never again.
If he messaged me I would tell him, "Sorry, I just like things." lol. That's should be always the answer to their cheap ass nonsense (you should block them immediately). I used to mess with stupid men because I thought it was funny but I just ignore them now. They will often run with their tail between their legs or crap their diaper.
Some examples: -"Rings are a scam run by the diamond company". Wrong ring, wrong man. No ring, no man. -"Marriage is just a piece of paper!" Then why are you afraid of it? -"I believe dates should be 50/50." Ok, it's not even worth me putting on pants for that. Have the day you deserve. -"I want four children." Push a watermelon out your ass for me then you can make requests. -"I am not looking for anything serious right now." Well, I am not looking to start a career as a sexually frustrated free hooker for wayward fuckboys.
"I want to experience sleeping with you but never buy anything for you."
I know lots of men who say "I value experiences not things" in order to justify why they don't have a job or a place of their own. Don't get me wrong, I value experiences too but it's been my observation that any man who uses this phrase is a scrote and should be given a wide berth.
i've realized at this point that anything a man says is probably a red flag because they are shameless liars. i prefer experiences to material things. i'd rather go on a trip than buy an expensive outfit. when i say i prefer experiences, i mean it. when a man says it, can we really trust he's telling the truth?
when men say "oh i'm all for equality" i know they mean something completely different from true equality. i do not trust men at all.
I like experiences too! Provide me with the experience of a luxury vacation in a tropical locale, scrote!
He made a 500k/year and didnt like when women wanted things? What the hell is he getting that money for? For the vibes or for...let me think....things? Thats more money than any 1 person will ever need and I am sure he doesnt get it just because work is just fun like that! He gets to want all the things but women obviously cant.
What a polite way of saying you want a free sex worker!!!