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So I dated this guy who I've known for a couple years and there was always chemistry among us but I never acted on it nor did he because we were dating other people at the time. Fast forward to now, things were going great until now. Today he asked me if there was a moment we could be together for a bit and I texted him yes but it has to be quick because I'm on a tight schedule. He ended up texting me two hours later because he was in class and I'm like okay whatever next time is fine. This is where it gets juicy.
He then proceeds to tell me "How about a gym date? Of course if both parties agree to it. Because you know I enjoy spending any quality time with you" We've only been dating for two weeks and have gone out on one date....one date. I was flabbergasted. I ended up telling him "Going to the gym isn't a date.....?" he started laughing and tells me "It's just a joke." BOOM. My head was set on fire. I asked him how was that a joke? To explain to me where the joke was? He got deeply offended because he realized I wasn't going to fall for it and send me paragraphs and paragraphs telling me how it's my loss that I lost him, that he is no longer interested in dating me because I'm making him appear to be "Evil" but we can still "chat cordially" I have the lost the inner fire in me, and to PLEASE respect his decision that he doesn't want any romantic relationship with me anymore. Unfortunately he knew about all my past relationships and how emotionally abusive they were to me then told me he's not like them and is offended that I'm treating him in such a way. My feelings were dismissed time and time again by saying "it's just a joke" or calling me dramatic which he also said but in a much "nicer way" by saying I'm blowing things out of proportion. Basically throwing tantrums because he didn't get what he want. But the joke here is that he truly believes I lost HIM.
I'm never trusting a man the way that I trusted him again.
You think you know someone when you don't. Lessons learned.
I know you're already aware of these things, OP. I just wanted to make a comment summerizing all the ways the handbook lessons apply to this story for others (esp newer FDSers) to be able to quickly recognize it as well. I'm glad you recognize scrote nonesense as well and aren't falling for it.
never tell a man your past because he WILL use it as ammo, as he did here. They will always try to compare themselves to your past abusive exes to make themselves look good so you'll be more inclined to tolerate their bs bc "well I'm not as bad as your ex."
if a guy is all talk, aka insisting hes a nice guy or that he isn't evil, etc but he doesn't ever let his actions speak for him, red flag.
HVM don't dismiss your feelings or get mad and try to gaslight you (being vague here on purpose because Ik there's lvm scrote lurkers here and I don't want to teach them how to fool us)
him trying to make you feel like you "lost him" because you didn't want to entertain his bs & bs "jokes," him telling you hes no longer interested you romantically but still wants to be able to talk "cordially" lmfao, him begging you to "respect" that decision is all him projecting his anger and feelings on to you. Classic lv scrote move. He's trying to bait you into feeling bad and chasing him. Instilling a false sense of "one that got away." The only thing that happened here is a massive bullet was dodge by you, OP. Good job.
Bullet dodged, congratulations! The scrote literally said if both parties agreed, you did not and he exploded.
He doesn't get to decide its your loss, that's your choice.
Well done for maintaining you boundaries 👏
He sounds like a total narcissistic sociopath. When he said you're making him sound evil, it's because he KNOWS he's evil, he's of the devil. Narcissists are demons in a human skin suit and they target women in the dating scene and prey on us. He Got you to say all this vulnerable information to him and he was planning in using that against you to hurt you thr whole time. Suggesting going to the gym is abuse and he knows it. He's a worthless POS and has no value, he just wants to make it seem you're the one with no value buts it's all a projection. In the future, let men open up and don't share any personal information unless you've been with him a long time and established trust first. Make him earn your trust.
"It's just a joke". LMAO CLASSIC GASLIGHTING!!! He's a textbook scrote. The trash took itself out, great! They think they're soooo clever but they're always telling on theirselves 😂
This has been said before but NEVER tell guys - especially if you've just met!!! - about your past abusive or other way useless exes, that's none of their business. Good for you for not falling for his BS, I'm proud of you!
Ouch, he could have easily turned smoothed that over into something positive but he got bitter and like... Literally threw a tantrum lmao? Proud of you for not falling for it and letting him just embarrass himself tbh. When people send those long texts I reply with 'k' or 'gotcha' because it gives them zero narcissistic supply lel