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I guess I thought I just wasn't like other women, or that I had a chance with this guy, but about a year ago, I met up with a guy from high school.
We'd never been emotionally close, but we rode the bus together for seven years - middle school and high school.
I watched him go through a break up, and then shortly after I had mine. He sat next to me in most of our classes. He laughed his ass off at my jokes.
I told him I'd been divorced for about three years, and couldn't stomach ever getting married again. He told me we could be roommates.
We went out together a lot, and he told me things about himself that he never even told his guy friends through the years, and for the two years we chatted after I got divorced.
Then we had sex.
Everything changed. He just acted... Different. Not disappointed.
I asked what was going on and he could only mumble shit. Total turnaround. I'm not horrible in bed. I don't have an octapussior. I'm not a fucking mutant.
I heard from the grapevine that he told people I'm easy after.
I thought we were making love.
This guy I watched grow into a man flipped the tables on me after damn near two decades. Just because we finally had sex.
I can't even be around them. All I did for the first month was cry.
We talked for two years.
This is fuckzone Hell.
He manipulated and took advantage of a vulnerable woman he's known for decades — he's a predator.
Now he's running his mouth calling you easy? Nope.
Since the only change was that you guys had sex, that means his dick is the problem. He should keep it out of women since it devalues everything it touches (like him).
Fight fire with fire: Tell everyone he has a crooked, small dick and struggled to get it up and you mercy fucked him.
Two decades. I'm so sorry. I am raging for you. Fucking hell.
I'm sorry this happened. He's an asshole, but I'm not surprised. Men will wait decades to f*ck us, standing by watching, and waiting for their turn to hurt us. The biggest red flag to me was this guy grew up with you but was never interested until you're getting divorced which means you were at a low point. That means he's lower than you, because you had to be in a vulnerable state for him to make a move. I had a voice teacher of mine do this same thing to me when I was getting divorced. He pretended to like me, but I caught him flirting with a 15 year old girl in the choir of the opera we were both in, and then my 50 year old girl friend told me she was sleeping with him. That saved me from giving him a chance to screw me over. Go to YouTube and do some EFT to get rid of the emotional charge from this situation and then put on a "Forget your ex" hypnosis video. You'll get better.
Most men are worse than dogs; you just have to accept it and get over it.
Stay away from men for a while, and let yourself heal. Do not date whatsoever during your healing process.
I'm in the middle of a years-long healing process. My life this past year has been free of romantic/sexual drama, and it feels great. It might benefit you to go the same route for a while.
I'm really sorry for your pain. WGTOW seems the way at this point. Tired of these nasty mofos getting everything they want in life and women being left in the dust. Time to leave them in the dust and deprive them of what they want to use us for! Like how they try and be stingy with their time and money we can be stingy with giving them anything physical. Like predators they wait and lurk for decades, patient cunning predators who lie about being our friend. Men are never our friends. He also popped up conveniently at a time when you were already emotionally vulnerable abd played on that 100% as your weakness to take advantage at that point. Never tell a man your weaknesses or if you're going through anything emotionally.
Do not:
"Talk"-This is not a relationship stage.
"Chat"-This is not a relationship, this is nothing.
He casually orbited around you for 2 years without locking you down.
Do:
Offical girlfriend (but this is still nothing).
Make him spend a lot of time and a lot of money (even this ultimately won't keep a monster from being evil).
Don't ever, ever let another evil piece of shit make you feel this bad ever, ever again. Don't ever give your heart away and put your mental and physical health at risk for a man unless he proves to you in tangible, physical, measurable ways that he is utterly in love with you.
This man is an empty monster inside. Look back. There almost certainly were signs you ignored. Don't ever ignore them again.
What helped me a lot when I used to allow them to do this to me was visualizing beating the living shit out of the man in great detail and stabbing him with my shoe. Downvote me for "violence" idgaf, it helped.
I'm so sorry, hon. Just remember it's a reflection on him. This is why I don't do friendships with men any more. But we can all lapse in our judgement. Really, really poor form on his part. I hope you are kind to yourself, and when you're ready, strengthen your boundaries moving forward. Some guys are just trash... 🤷♀️
Oncec you start to heal, I hope you will be able to look with hindsight and maybe see some of the red flags you overlooked? This is what has happened to me in the past. This is not to blame you in any way, but it can be empowering to be able to see it properly... less liekly to repeat the mistake if we can see it. He may also have just been acting the charmer to get what he wanted and then big bang boom, done and done. Just take care of you now: you are no.1
He has a major Madonna-Whore complex. Like most Ys.
Nobody is nicer than a man who wants to £uck you for the first time. This is very common and happend
s to 99% of women in Western cultures. I'm so so so so sorry. You did nothing wrong. Men can't be trusted period. I don't care how long you've known a man for. A female friend recently told me a story about how she told a male family friend that they were not blood related. The whole time he thought they were since childhood. She told him they were not actually cousins, their parents were very close it was just as good as family. He immediately asked her to hookup. Like less than 2 mins into finding out they were not blood related. This is a women he grew up with and treated like a sister since childhood. She was now easy prey. In fact most abuse happens in families. Don't even trust your male relatives.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, sis.
After reading this, I feel really petty and childish. If anyone asks, wonders about anything, or you could casually say he was horrible in bed, he couldn't satisfy you, and he has a small 🍆. You need to change the narrative around that you weren't easy.
It's not that you were easy, but he couldn't satisfy you.
I'm tired of men dominating the narrative after a failed relationship.
That is disgusting that he did that. A similar thing happened to me, I cried myself to sleep for months. I'm so sorry, no women deserves to go through that. Like you I had a guy, an old acquaintance, take advantage of me at a very low point. He's nothing but a scumbag and predator.
i felt the need to comment. i went into yearly rabbit hole of trying to get over it and have it happen to me over and over, and it started affecting my mental health.
all because of one asshole who acted different after we had sex that HE TOLD ME wont change anything.
stopping any interaction with men and focusing on discipline and selfcare helped me get over it. it still stings, but slowly its going away
You said that you've known him in high school. Sounds like there were rumors and lies being spread about you being 'easy' in high school, so when you finally he had sex he presumed them all to be true.