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Disclaimer: I am in no way attempting to dispute Rule 10 in the Forum Rules (https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/updates-announcements/forum-rules-as-of-february-12th-2023). I think we should steer clear of ethnocentrism, racial slurs, and race-baiting on this forum.
Background: I have lived a well-traveled life that has given me opportunities to interact with men from a variety of cultures across the world. What I have noticed, in my 30-plus years, is that some cultures are simply not compatible with others, and people who date/marry across incompatible cultures face insurmountable hurdles. These relationships sometimes end in divorce (or worse) and could have been avoided if the women had recognized the magnitude of cultural incompatibility from the beginning.
The fact of the matter is that certain cultures practice certain traditions and encourage certain behaviors. It would be a disservice to women around the world to downplay this concept.
For example: some cultures condone (or even glorify) polygamy, and men from those cultures are likely to condone or support polygamy, even if they do not practice it themselves. A woman who wants monogamous marriage should steer clear of men from those cultures.
Another example: some cultures encourage (or even glorify) premarital sex, and most men from those cultures are likely to expect premarital sex. A woman who is not interested in premarital sex would be severely misguided if she chooses to date men who identify with those cultures.
Again, I am not attempting to be ethnocentric. I am merely pointing out the importance of taking a man's cultural background into account during the vetting process.
Question:
What are some cultural differences you have noticed in your dating experiences with men?
I'm about done with western men tbh. They want a traditional wife just like other men, but they don't know how to be traditional husbands.
They also expect things like sex after the first or second date, but will look down on you for doing it.
Latino men aren't great, far from it, but at least they have a provider mindset.
Men from the West Indies are unfaithful, even if they belong to religions that promote monogamy. They’re also mama’s boys, so expect his mother to be involved in your business, even if you aren’t married. It’s also a culture that favors boys over girls, so most men and selfish and entitled. They are very generous, so you’ll get dates and gifts (if you’re his main girl—good way to find out if you’re his side girl is if he’s being very cheap with you). That was my experience, anyway. American men are varied. Hispanic Americans have a provider mindset, and will pay for dates, but can be very sexist; Asian Americans, too. White Americans have gotten very lazy over the last couple of decades. When I was in college, the tech majors (engineering, comp sci) were very ungenerous, while simultaneously believing that one day they would make a lot of money and get to date supermodels. I dated a guy from the preppy part of new England once, he was very generous and polite. I now see the stingy techbro attitude creeping into every part of the US, though. I agree with dating a man with a provider mindset. Even if it doesn’t work out, you at least got some nice dates out of the deal, so you don’t feel like you’ve wasted your time.
Southern european men and southern / eastern men are more family oriented. Better for me (but it’s my values)
Global south men are less likely to split the bill. Especially middle east (but they have their drawbacks like everybody)
I had a terrible date with a men from senegal. Some men from some culture have a very..upfront way. Declared himself on the second date. I know it’s better if it’s fast but I like 3-4-5 date before. Not funny. No conversation skills. Terrible. Don’t listen to me. Mansplained me everytime. Want a doll girlfriend but not an human girlfriend. Wouldn’t recommand at all. Really disliked it.
Western white men pays too (even if it’s less). However, they see it as a bonus and not as a minimum. They will tell you « I paid you that this and that ». I don’t like it. Also they mansplain a lot.
I dated an indian men. We broke up due to distance but he was great. Provider. Ik it’s also a minefield but I got lucky. Also he was a good mix between tradition and modernity. Immigrants living in westernized environment can be a good mix.
I almost had a date with a Chinese men(that grow up in the west). Super Provider (wanted to pay for my stuff but I declined the date last minute I was super young, a teenager)
Overall, I would recommand dating men that have a double culture. They can take thé best of both world. I am myself mixed (Europe -africa-asia) and I get along with this kind of person better. If it's full african/middle east (culturally not genetically) I can have some troubles sometimes. A traditional background mixed with a more modern one is the best combination.
I will point out that many Chinese (and perhaps, to an extent, many East and South Asian) men, despite not being religious or openly opposed to premarital sex, will still expect a virginal fiancee. They do not shout this from the rooftops, but many will absolutely refuse to marry a young woman if he knows she has had even one sexual partner. Sex in China is a hush-hush topic, and the good-virginal-girl trope is alive and well.
I dated an bengali man for a short time. I only have sex if I basically see the man as my husband or equivalent. He had really messed up ideas around sex, affection and women owing men sex because they are men. His culture marital rape doesn't exist as a crime. I didn't do a thing with him as a result. Was a high earner and full provider & good father.
For me, it’s a hit or miss. I’ve dated men from both Western and East Asian culture. My first (Western) ex paid for everything, but was a narcissistic POS. The other one was kind and good in bed, but wanted to go 50/50. Same with East Asian men. Some of them (if not most) can be very mysoginystic and want a ”traditional” marriage (i.e. SAHM), some of them are normal.
Men are men everywhere be on guard always
So in your opinion, which culture has the best men to marry? Which culture has the worst?