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My friend has been married for almost a decade to a seemingly HV man. He has many HV traits: works hard, supports her and their child financially, attends to her and their child at all times, seems like an excellent dad, has a graduate degree and a solid job, does not look at other women or triangulate, always pays for us when we go out in a group, always well-behaved. They seem like a happy family.
But I find his vibe a little...threatening. He has never said an unkind word in front of me, but I get the feeling that in their relationship, whatever he says goes. I guess there's a sternness and inflexibility to his personality that I find low-key unsettling. It seems like he's the one in charge, and she follows along.
Is this an unhealthy dynamic?
I'd love to hear your input on whether or not you consider him HV.
Seeming like a perfect family on the outside is what controllers main goal usually is. They are very insecure.
It would really depend on what you mean by "stern"? Like if he sees her as a mcbang maid it's not a good situation even if he does the bare minimum of providing.