Young adult autistic women more likely to be “adult groomed”?

Yes and I think autistic women and other neurodiverse ladies are vulnerable around men regardless of our age. If you can’t read social cues, no matter how much you learn them, you are still socially “disabled”. I can do all the research in the world, but there are interactions that exist so far out of the realm of normal, that I end up panicking/going blank around people. If you add in an age gap, you’re basically a child in comparison to these scrotes who have a lot of social life experience. It’s an unfair match where he is entirely predatory. A man who knowingly approaches young women is NOT a good man. He is especially worse if he intentionally seeks disabled women.

I was in a similar situation. He, 41, used a vulnerable spot in my life (coming out of an extremely abusive first relationship with rape and violence and being at financial, physical rock bottom) to get me into a relationship. I didn't really want one at that time but I liked his normal easygoing personality. I got to experience the full range of normal life experiences for the first time and soley through him at the time. He had friends, a social life, normal family, money, etc. we went out to do stuff daily. Beforehand I had been a recluse. This was the first year I ever had a job out of uni. Very low paying back then. (Now after 3 years I am in the top 1% in monthly income) He just used this opportunity for a way in. An incredible power imbalance and distortion glass in hindsight. He scrweed me over verious ways in plain sight while I was watching in awe as he knew I was fully aware. Some male NTs have a weird way about them where they have little integrity and are pretty evil. I just cannot wrap my head around it so every itty bit of trust was immediately abused. He couldn't handle in the end how I was right about things more than I was wrong & instead of realizing he could maybe learn a few things from me, he engaged in days long circular arguments. Tried to defend his right to insult my body for a few months. It was insane. He clearly didn't want a young girlfriend to be lectured or challenged, he wanted to be the one in charge, the one who knows everything. It spiralled quickly after i had to move in with him (my old apartments floor was breaking down due to water damage and landlord wouldnt fix + had no credit). Arguments and personality shift started in the first night. I finally got out after a year when my credit was finally clear from the effects of my first abusive bf. Then he really started to throw tantrums and started shittalking me to all his friends. Collected my reactions and kept all of his hours and days long insults hidden ofc. He really controlled a whole narrative about me how I was an emotional abuser, golddigger, crazy, had BPD and threathened him. That is the real danger in this current climate for a woman on the spektrum, her male abuser can spin the story soooo easily and everyone cheers him along. Everyone would love to see a male victim. He kept my stuff for 6 months and wouldn't let me collect it, but told his friends that I just left it there. He kept a stick to beat me with behind the door in case I show up to collect it. (Found out through a third party.) He started turning the room I designed in his apartment into a coworkung space to make money, let people stay there, between my private belongings against my will. (Clearly a plan in hindsight) He claimed he was a DV victim (41 year old man vs. 100lbs mid 20s girl - never leider a hand on him) and really prepared this story to have an excuse to attack me if i ever showed up. I just never bothered with him after getting out so he never got the chance.

Many more things. He turned around almost everything I said. For example I encouraged him to meet his friends more during covid: that was spun into "she wanted to isolate me from my friends."

My asking to not tell lies about me while I am not there to defend myself, please let me tell my side of the story with you if you involve third parties was turned into "she didn't want me to talk to my trusted friends".

My saying I only want to move in with a man who is marriage minded and I told you thid and you suddenly tell me you never want to get married 2 days after I moved in so I'd rather move out again was turned into "she only searched for a new apartment for herself and left me out" It was a wild experience. I really took my time with the next one and now fortunately i am not so vulnerable anymore. But my slight autism will always be reason for me to move extra carefully.

“Would you say young adult autistics are more vulnerable to “adult grooming”. If you can even call it that?“

Without getting into my trauma - yes. Many insecure men are predators without even being fully aware of it and are drawn to women they perceive as weak. Whether that weakness is her youth, her health, her poverty, or autism. They think having control over a woman will fill the black hole of their insecurity. It never does. It just shows them what a monster they are and then they take it out on the woman via abuse.

I think autistic women need to be even more cautious when dating and vet men even more strictly than FDS teaches —especially the younger you are. These men can ruin your whole future and you’ll never get it back. It’s just gone. There’s no eraser for trauma and there’s no time machine to get your wasted years back.