Would you ditch a friend who…

Yes, I've been in a very similar situation and stayed friends with this person, even through her backhanded comments about my life.

She eventually pulled something so out of line I couldn't continue with the friendship. People like this are not trustworthy and only feel comfortable when things are all about them, or when they can feel superior.

I have no friends i see regularly now, it can be lonely at times but at least I'm not being lied about or used by so called friends.

It's part of the tactic to be there for you so you can still supply them with the attention they need. It's like toxic family--they'll preach that they're the only ones who will be there for you in dire times and perhaps they are there, but that doesn't give them the right to treat you however they want. With friendships, I'd say exercise even more discernment. This is something mutual two strangers step into.

Yes I would, they had the chance to keep you around by being decent people but they chose to be toxic, so there's nothing to be guilty about, haven't you been with them at their lowest as well?

You already want to end the relationship so it's officially ended, you're staying out of obligation, that's not a friendship, just fade away from their life and you'll feel immense relief at not having to always carry someone's baggage that they refuse to fix.

I agree that it can be difficult to make friends in adulthood. I was talking w/ my BFF from my college years about this. She felt that we were handed great friendships on a platter when we were school (we were in a dorm with like-minded students and we used to have great discussions and we made lifelong friends with several people) -- and then we were out in the work world and WOW, it was different.

I'm fairly extraverted so I have a lot of people I'm friendly with, even a pretty good number of people I'd classify as "friends," but I don't think I have as many really CLOSE female friends as I'd like. It's like, we get to a certain level of closeness, and then it stalls out. I was trying to think if I had any girlfriends that I would ask to stand up with me at my wedding (I'm not getting married; it was just a thought exercise) and I literally couldn't think of any women with whom I had that sisterly connection. It's kind of sad.

I have, however, spent a few years trying to "be my own best friend" and that's been productive. I don't mean just "enjoying being alone" (although that's part of it). I mean I have been trying to do, in any given situation, what I would want that best sisterly friend to do for me (if I had one). Just another way of looking at "do what's best for myself," but somehow "being the best friend that I've always wanted to have" has made it work.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent. :)

"I'm starting to see how some so-called friends see me and I'm fading them out."

Same.

It sucks and it hurts, but it's necessary. Once the genie is out of the bottle, it can't go back in. I'm currently slow fading my oldest friend for the same reason.

The fact that you're asking if it's ok to ditch this friend, implies that you want to. That in itself, it reason enough to end a friendship (or relationship). Lots of women are brainwashed into thinking that there has to be this major falling out in order to justify ending a relationship. That's not true IMO. It's ok to end any relationship that you feel is no longer working out for you.

Your post makes it sound like you feel obligated to this person and that's why you haven't ditched them yet. Staying in any kind of relationship out of obligation is never a good idea. My advice to you would be, put the sense of obligation you feel out of your mind and ask yourself "Do I want to be friends with this person?" and "If I met this person today, would I want to be friends with them?". If the answer to both these questions is "No", then you have your answer.

Did that person stay with you in your lowest because they cared about you or because they had no one else?