Would you date a guy who used to be a misogynist?

no.

I see it as a red flag. Why would he announce it? When men say that they "used" to be some terrible way, and now they've totally reformed, they're doing it because they want a gold star and they want you to fawn over him. It also gives him a foundation to hide behind in case he "slips up" and fucks up later down the line, like "Give me a break! I'm TRYING not to be misogynist, can't I get credit for that?! It used to be SO MUCH worse!"

Men tell on themselves, and they don't change. "I used to be xxx" means "I still am xxx, I'm just trying to divert your attention."

For example, I love animals. I would drop a man who said something like "I used to kick stray cats when I got upset, but then I went to therapy and read some books, and I no longer do that anymore!" Why would he tell me this? So when he gets pissed later and physically lashes out at a smaller, weaker, living thing, I should understand and forgive him?

Also, I definitely don't want kids, and don't particularly like kids all that much to be honest. But, I would also drop a man who said something like "Yeah I went down a weird internet rabbit hole for a while and started fantasizing sexual things about children...but I got really freaked out about it, went to therapy, and read some books, and now I don't think about that stuff anymore." Why would he tell me this? So that if I discover something else heinous and awful, I should believe he'll get help for it, so let him carry on undisturbed? Be the super understanding, open-minded girlfriend? The fact that his mind would even start down that path is horrifying.

So if a man says something like "Yeah, I used to see women as less than human, didn't respect them, and thought their sole purpose in life was to serve me and my dick. But then I went to therapy, read a book, and now I see that they're actually people and not sex objects." ....I think of it along the same lines. Why would he tell me this? And why would he feel the need to...mansplain to me that I am not a sex object, but in fact a person who deserves respect--as if I wasn't aware?

Some things are social conditioning, sure, and some things are just basic empathy and compassion for people and living things.

Lundy Bancroft says that misogyny cannot be healed through therapy, it's not designed to challenge deeply held moral convictions like this. If anything, it only teaches men to manipulate better by hiding their true thoughts and feelings. Therapy helps the patient, not the people around them. "Education" alone is also not sufficient. So, no, a misogynist man is already ruined.

We do not date former drug addicts, former porn addicts, former murderers, former child molestors, former traffickers, former rapists, former woman beaters, former misogynists, etc., etc., etc.

I think you get the idea.

HVW do not tie themselves to the scum of society.

No. Values are hard wired. You can't learn empathy. You either have it or you don't.

Nope. I briefly dated a person like that because I thought you can’t judge a past if it’s left behind. He’s still a disgraceful piece of crap when he doesn’t get what he wants. If I did something wrong without my knowledge instead of walking away or explain that it’s wrong he just wait’s until I’m over my hurt feelings or disappointment caused by him just to do it back at me with the intention of making me aware of it.

For example he wants me to say “I love you” back no matter in what mood I am, If he disrespected me, let me down, sincerely getting on my nerves he wants to hear it instead of understanding that at times I need to be left alone.

So when I got over things I said ”I’m no longer angry”

He’s like “Okay” Speak to you later”

I said “Okay I love you“

Then he said “thanks for saying it bye bye”

I thought it was strange so I asked why he didn’t say “I love you back”

Then he was like “I’m trying to make you aware how hurtful your actions were, and that it’s not nice not to say I love you back even when you are upset, I’m just trying to help you”

Only when the ppl around him said that he’s being ignorant he decided to apologise.

I should have seen it as a sign that I need to snap contact but in my pickme ways of living I decided to let it slide.

Do not ever date a person like that, a persons past is the glimpse of the future because people don’t change, they evolve.

No fucking way. Mostly because why would he announce it? As another comment said, that's the sign something is wrong. He just wants a cookie. It's manipulative. Most men are raised to be mysogynists, so if someone grew out of that for real I don't think he would feel the need to make a big announcement.

No. Why would I date someone that used to hate women when I could just date a guy that didn't ever hate women?

Ew no, why would I?🤢 I can do better.

Absolutely not. Hard no.

No

Lol, hell no.

Just remember that a man will never give you a chance to redeem yourself if you've got a spotty past. There is no need to be kind and forgiving when dealing with them.

Tell him you're a 'former' misandrist🥰

Depends on the situation. I don't know anyone who openly admits to having been a misogynist: the ones I am familiar with are more entrenched in LibFem ideals.

There is one guy in my gaming group who I consider a good friend. He recently told me that a couple of years ago he nearly went down the Andrew Tate rabbit hole, but was thankful to have avoided it because of my influence. He is younger, and was definitely at a more impressionable age. I am a trainee therapist, so he's had not therapy as such, but he has experienced some of the skills and attitudes of therapy.

I think the people we have around us influence in many ways. Culture masks many problems because not everyone thinks as critically as FDS does. I would be interested in what age he saw the light, what made him change his mind, how committed he is now to equality, how long it's been, etc.

As a therapist I don't have the liberty of seeing people in black and white; I literally work with scrotes who want to improve. How can I put this... I do witness changes. A leopard can change it's spots, but it's still a leopard.

No; why would he be telling you this?

Yeah right.

Immediate red flag to me. Why would he announce it? Why does he deserve a shot when he's already shown himself to be untrustworthy?

Why do we give men benefits of the doubt that are never, ever given to women?

Omg no

Why would anyone mention that? Sounds like an attention-seeker. I wouldn't have dated him because I find it juvenile and unattractive.

No.