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They were dating for 6 years. They're 28 now. I recall predicting the proposal when I heard they were going on a mini trip somewhere. She said she knew it was coming too since they had gone ring shopping together recently, after she had pointed out all the couples they knew who had been together for significantly shorter periods of time and were getting engaged. She said she was pretty much like, "well where's my ring?".
He seems like a decent guy with a stable head on his shoulders. He appears to really love her and I think there's a real probability that he would have proposed to her regardless, but am I wrong to wonder or be worried that he wouldn't have?
Edit: to be clear, he proposed and I'm concerned on if he would have done so without her bringing it up first. Perhaps I hope he had already had it on his mind and loved her enough to plan a proposal before her having to ask him where is her ring at/before they went ring shopping?
So... you worry he actually wanted to propose but then decided against it because SHE mentioned a proposal?
That's ridiculous. Frankly, if he really, truly wanted to marry her he would have proposed a long time ago. They have been together for six years. Even if he proposes now it smells like a "shut up"-ring to me.
Considering they're only 28, I don't think 6 years is crazy long, however the fact that she asked for it makes it likely that it's a shut up ring. It seems he has no intrinsic desire to get married.
From a U.S. perspective, getting engaged at 28 is not particularly early and not particularly late. However, 6 years of dating is really pushing it.
I would not be OK dating a man for 6 years without a proposal. For me, 2 years without a proposal is pushing it.
It sounds like this man was complacent. I'd say there was at least a 50% chance he would not have proposed if his fiancee hadn't reminded him. But dwelling on probabilities isn't relevant. What matters is the fiancee will now live the rest of her life not being sure if he really wanted to marry her. If I were the fiancee, I would not tolerate that feeling very well. I would not be able to build a foundation/family with a man whose motives feel uncertain.
This is a tough one.
Did they live together and she expected that a ring was on the horizon?
Truthfully, your friend should not have had to remind her boyfriend that all of her friends had rings and now she was expecting hers. Even if he seem like a decent guy, guys in general will drag things out. If he wants to propose, he needs do it, not be reminded of why he hasn't done it.
Personally, I wouldn't date someone for six years.
Surprisingly, I’ve heard too many personal accounts of this from men and woman.
With the guy, they were together since they were thirteen and got married at 26. The girl’s family is loaded. He has three daughters and with every daughter, he bought them a house as a wedding gift. With this particular girl, she got the house before the wedding. The guy felt the pressure. He told us that he bought the ring, but couldn’t find the right time to ask for the father’s approval. The thing is if her bought a fucking house for the girl and him, it means that he’s already approved of their relationship and wants them to seal the deal. I think he’s buying time for himself because he’s unsure. Anyways, I heard he ended proposing in the winter (she bought the house in the spring). I don’t know if they went through with the wedding since I stopped hanging out with them.
As for the girl, she lived with him for 7 years. During the final year, she told me that she gave her bf an ultimatum and that she was going to leave him by the following year if he didn’t propose. She even tried on rings with him. In fact, that was the fuse that lit the match. She had doubts if he was going to propose and wondered if she’d be able to find some else at 28. Mind you, she only has a high school diploma with no formal post-secondary education, so I understand why she relies on her looks. He ended up proposing and delaying the wedding for an extra two years due to Covid vaccination laws. She had this really big wedding idea, but it flopped because he refused to help, and they had their wedding in a college dining hall where none of them attended the institution. To me, it was sad. Having your wedding at a college generally means that you were alumni or met at the place which is why it hold sentimental value. It’s also the place where students have their wedding since it’s cheap and has sentimental value. Sadly, this is what her family and her could afford.
Another girl I knew lived with her bf for over ten years. He finally proposed. But then she realized he wasn’t meeting her expectations. I think she thought everything was going to be okay once they got married, and he would rise to the occasion. In reality nothing changed and she realized it. She was the one supporting him. Thus she had this fear this is was going to be her life forever. What does she do? She cheats on him with her their close friend. I don’t know if she knows that her current bf is more of a gigolo. She’s supporting the current guy through school emotionally and paying for their vacations and activities. This guy is acting out her fantasies that her ex refused to do and she’s playing “bob the builder” with her new bf. Idk if she realizes she’s repeating history. I’ll find out in three years (her timeline/plan) if he’s able to achieve her wildest dreams. I know I sound like a dick, but she’s way in too deep. I don’t want to get cussed out by a stubborn pick-me, so all I could do is sit and watch this shit show unfold.
Yeah, clearly what I learnt from all of this is that men drag on the relationship for as long as possible and waste a girl's time.