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Another male behavior question...
Something I've noticed is that some men will be really inquisitive when it comes to you, but for themselves you will realize you have to pull teeth to get information from them. A general example, maybe he will ask you about your personal interests and you share yours. You might ask "What about you, do you like X?" and he'll simply go "No, it's not my thing." Now, I feel like most people would follow that up with "but, I love Y!" But with the behavior I'm talking about, he'll just end it there and not follow up with anything, and if you try to ask what DOES he like then, he might get defensive and wonder why you want to know or just generally try to blow the question off. You may need to ask multiple times in the moment or across different moments to finally get him to answer and it's as if you're holding him at gunpoint to get him to answer an extremely simple question, not something difficult.
I know it's a red flag because I feel as though if a man doesn't want to share simple information about himself, he just isn't into you. Or if you're already in a relationship, I would presume this means he is someone who is going to hide information from you, and dodge tough questions whether it's about cheating or about your future together. Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
The reason they do this is because information is power. The more info they can drag out of you, the more they can use it against you in the future and to control and manipulate you. They never reveal anything about them, why asking you a millions questions.
I'm short and I was once on a date with a tall guy. The topic came up, and he asked me how tall I was. I told him. Then I asked him his height. And he replied "oh it doesnt matter". STFU then, douche.
They do this because theyre trying to manipulate you in some way. IDK exactly what the game is, but it doesnt matter. We're too good to play their games. Block and delete.
My ex behaved "mysteriously" on purpose. I noticed early on that he didn't tell me much about himself and I had to draw everything out. This persisted into the relationship in some ways. Back then, I felt challenged by that and thought it was good practice for my communication skills, or that he would at least appreciate that someone helped him open up. Well. I've learned my lesson. He strategically withheld information as well as affection to keep the upper hand and use my vulnerabilities against me. Nowadays I would instantly yeet any guy who is secretive. Too much of a risk of him being a manipulator. When you like someone, you should naturally want to share your thoughts and feelings with them. I can't with emotionally constipated men anymore.
Among others: lack of self awareness, deflection, having something to hide, lying, avoidant personality.
I'm glad to see someone else asking this question because I asked this question last year. Like you, it perplexes me when men dodge questions that they feel free to ask you.
Like other commenters say, there's something fishy going on when they do this so ditch a guy whi behaves like this. A man who can hide small things that are either good or bad can and will hide big, good or bad things. This behaviour occurs for many reasons. It ranges from them having no interest in the woman so they have no interest in telling her anything about themselves. Remember, men are very nice and forthcoming to women they have a superficial and/or real interest in.
As Eden Lane so rightly said, information is power so they may feel that the woman having information about them can use it against them (which men do to women) or they may just worry that they're opening up themselves up to someone, therefore making them vulnerable (and we all know how most men fear being vulnerable, for fear of being seen as weak or their vulnerability being used against them).
It's very odd behaviour and something I look for in a guy. If he behaves in that manner, I know that he is a waste of my time.
To mirror you maybe? It's easier if they know a whole bunch about you and you know nothing about them, that way they can try to match your personality and pretend to like the things you like. It might make you feel safer, foster fake intimacy and get them sex sooner.
Sometimes it's darker and they're actually trying to gather stuff to use against you later on, usually that's when they ask really deep questions or encourage you to trauma dump. I don't think they'll weaponize the fact that you have a soft spot for tabby cats and that you like to knit in your free time, unless they're particularly petty and they think they can try to put you down for your interests or anything that makes you remotely unique (it might work one someone insecure infortunately).
He’s trying to hide things about himself he knows are bad or he’s socially incompetent IRL because he was raised by the internet.
When I finished your post I immediately thought 'cheater'. He wants to be vague so you don't accidentally walk in on his gf/wife in their house or won't call his phone while he's with a prostitute or on a date