Why Do So Many PickMes Defend Coffee Dates?

I sometimes get the itch to offer making them an appointment with an ophthalmologist because there's no way anybody with good sight would find those creatures attractive, right?? Lmao

Same here lol. I got kicked out of 2 groups because I kept posting memes too often. Luckily they let me back in so I have to be careful now.

Facts. These women lash out at women getting better treatment and try to degrade them. I saw it in the comments how they were saying there’s nothing wrong with coffee dates, women are delusional if they think they should be taken out to an expensive restaurant on the first date, why would they expect that. etc all sorts of stuff. It made me realize wow these women actually have rarely been taken out and now they’ve convinced themselves it’s normal. Meanwhile for other women we’ve never accepted coffee dates and have a history of being taken out to nice places and experiences. So they don’t like the idea that it does happen and other women expect it/normalize it.

Wow! Yep it sounds like she had very low standards for both herself and others. This is why I don’t get impressed when women show off how, “I met my boyfriend / fiance on a coffee date so obviously it works!!” or I saw a man comment today, “Well I took my wife for coffee on the first date and then a hike and picnic on second so obviously it turned out well for us!” More like it turned out well for the man because he didn’t have to put much effort in at all. And women who are desperate to be in a relationship at all costs just to say “they have a man” are usually the ones advocating fiercely for coffee dates because to them being low maintenance “worked” in snagging a man even the most low quality one. I notice they lash out as soon as you point out it’s low-value behavior to settle. I wish they would do some self-reflection. I even saw women pandering to men in the comments section decrying how “women shouldn’t be expecting expensive dates from men on the first date that’s ridiculous” meanwhile men have no problem expecting sex within a couple dates but no one brings up their entitlement when our bodies and health obviously are more priceless. Meanwhile I saw some high value women sharing the same post but it was the opposite. They were laughing at the idea of women supporting coffee dates and encouraging higher standards. So I know everyone does not think like that and I am grateful I can revisit sanity at FDS too. I think PickMe women spend a lot of time agreeing with each other about their low standards and lashing out at women getting better treatment and it makes them deluded to think that they’re right.

Can I just say it's absolutely okay to judge a book by its cover? Sometimes that's all you have to go off of. If I see a man with face tattoos, I assume he's probably been in prison, has ties to a gang, or is trying really hard to be a SoundCloud rapper. Either way, the choice to get tattoos on your face severely limits what jobs will hire you. So unless you're really good at what you do and find an extremely open-minded company, you're kind of setting yourself up for a lifetime of minimum-wage work. Why hitch your wagon to someone who's done the most to make their life difficult?

Exactly, I completely agree with you. Appearances matter, and it’s disingenuous to deny that facial tattoos are a red flag.

Woah woah woah… I’ve got lip, eyebrow and eyeliner tattoos. Let’s not judge. 😂 jk

I don't need to "read better" as you suggest, as I stated that an advantage of a coffee date is if I don't connect with my date, I can simply go about my day. Meaning that a coffee date fits in with my existing commitments and I am dressed and made up to suit my day, not the coffee date. I don't know how you could possibly interpret that I don't value my time from that?

I fully support FDS and the handbook (my post history would suggest nothing less). The examples provided of how I am invading space are not comparable to my posts as I have said at all times that this is a perspective that suits me and is in no way something other women should take on board if they don't want to.

If I made blanket statements that all women should be happy and grateful to accept coffee dates or a walk, then yes, I would absolutely agree that it is insulting and disrespectful to other members.

Despite fully supporting FDS, there are grey areas in which a member can decide for herself what suits her particular circumstances best. Coffee dates is one of them. As I said before, my city caters to this scene beautifully, other areas may not and I can see why it is not appealing if someone had only cheap places to go to.

It is a terrible shame that a group of such intelligent, caring and high value women are unable to respectfully debate a grey area. It descends into personal attacks and assumptions without taking the time to ask for further details or trying to see the bigger picture for a person's individual circumstances.

Separately, you made a comment that me being okay with coffee dates is akin to saying trans women are welcome in women-only spaces. I take great offence at this as there is a high profile court case in my country fighting for this very cause. I have financially donated to this court case as I believe so passionately in it, as well as volunteering my time to assist the lawyers with trial preparation work if they needed it.

I appreciate you don't know me in real life, but the severity of your comments and personal attacks are really unnecessary.

Yes, can absolutely do that and agree that saves time. I do still like to meet for coffee so I can see how he treats wait staff and its much easier to read body language in person.

This is the first time I've joined the dogpile on a most-downvoted comment...but I have to do it.

Coffee dates are no, no, and no. I don't care if a coffee costs 20 USD where you're from. Coffee dates are inherently low-effort and LV.

I bet if you look around, all/most of the relationships that started with coffee dates are not relationships you want to be in. The women in these relationships are always expected to put forth more than their fair share of time/effort in the relationship. It's sad to see.