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I tried posting this on Reddit but got eviscerated, whether by conservative men ripping me apart "you stupid feminists wanted equality hahaha" combined with people saying "oh my God you thought the pull-out method was safe, I knew that in fourth grade"
To be clear, I had a Florida public school education. The academics were great but the sex ed was very mediocre, a grainy video in the fifth grade of a woman giving birth and that's it. I did learn about the vas deferens in anatomy class
Basically long story short I had a boyfriend who seemed great at first, pulled out car doors, planned and paid for dates, cooked me lots of dinners and was very affectionate. In fact, I really liked him because he seemed simple, steady. He was even a male nurse. He only wore condom the first time we had sex and that's because I absolutely insisted on it
He didn't even have good arguments, he basically would just reassure me that I'm not going to get pregnant when I would cry about my anxiety when we would do pull out sex. In retrospect I was making bad decisions and got an IUD today. But I can't help but feel like maybe I just wasn't convincing enough, which is false because I repeatedly confronted him, or maybe he didn't respect me because I didn't force him to wear condoms. But I honestly don't respect him if I have to force him and walk away.
Do these men just not give a s*** about disease or pregnancy?
Chris Rock said, “When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.” You met his representative - the simple steady guy. That is the personality that was used to impress you and hopefully get you to let your guard down. That is not who is he because if it was he would wear a condom, especially as a nurse who knows about the various STD and STIs and he knows about the pregnancy avoidant methods and exactly how pregnancy works.
How can he assure you that you cannot get pregnant? Did he perform detailed research on your cycle, check your basal temperature for weeks, and take swabs of your cervical mucus for over 3-6 months? Because as a nurse, he knows how but didn't...I'm saying this to demonstrate the obvious level of nonsense - that his words are nothing more than sound against the air.
You are in control. You cannot believe what he says more than you believe in yourself and your values (using condoms).