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I tried posting this on Reddit but got eviscerated, whether by conservative men ripping me apart "you stupid feminists wanted equality hahaha" combined with people saying "oh my God you thought the pull-out method was safe, I knew that in fourth grade"
To be clear, I had a Florida public school education. The academics were great but the sex ed was very mediocre, a grainy video in the fifth grade of a woman giving birth and that's it. I did learn about the vas deferens in anatomy class
Basically long story short I had a boyfriend who seemed great at first, pulled out car doors, planned and paid for dates, cooked me lots of dinners and was very affectionate. In fact, I really liked him because he seemed simple, steady. He was even a male nurse. He only wore condom the first time we had sex and that's because I absolutely insisted on it
He didn't even have good arguments, he basically would just reassure me that I'm not going to get pregnant when I would cry about my anxiety when we would do pull out sex. In retrospect I was making bad decisions and got an IUD today. But I can't help but feel like maybe I just wasn't convincing enough, which is false because I repeatedly confronted him, or maybe he didn't respect me because I didn't force him to wear condoms. But I honestly don't respect him if I have to force him and walk away.
Do these men just not give a s*** about disease or pregnancy?
Chris Rock said, “When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.” You met his representative - the simple steady guy. That is the personality that was used to impress you and hopefully get you to let your guard down. That is not who is he because if it was he would wear a condom, especially as a nurse who knows about the various STD and STIs and he knows about the pregnancy avoidant methods and exactly how pregnancy works.
How can he assure you that you cannot get pregnant? Did he perform detailed research on your cycle, check your basal temperature for weeks, and take swabs of your cervical mucus for over 3-6 months? Because as a nurse, he knows how but didn't...I'm saying this to demonstrate the obvious level of nonsense - that his words are nothing more than sound against the air.
You are in control. You cannot believe what he says more than you believe in yourself and your values (using condoms).
No, they don't give a shit about pregnancy or disease if it doesn't happen to them.
They aren't actually "nice". He doesn't respect you in the slightest or he'd have worn them, no questions asked, each and every time.
It's all about maximizing their pleasure at your expense.
Stop having sex with these males. Get a sex toy and you'll have peace of mind.
"Do these men just not give a s*** about disease or pregnancy?"
Absolutely, 100%
They are selfish scrotes who only care about getting their dicks wet.
That's also why women must be extremely (if not extra) wary of self-proclaimed "feminist" men who are supportive of abortion rights, because 99.9% of those men only support abortion being/remaining legalized so they can coerce a woman into having one if they need too.
Or even worse- they are LVM scrotes who want to baby trap a woman so she will stay with him (which is why a lot of LVM don't reveal their true selves until it's far too late (e.g. after a baby is conceived/born).
Men will do whatever you let them get away with
Men are the nicest to you when they haven’t slept with you. The nice guy act slipped as soon as he’s getting what he wants.
As others have said, this man is not "nice". He sounds presumptuous and entitled.
Also, in my experience, there has always been something off about the male nurses and male kindergarten teachers I've encountered in the U.S. They are not necessarily walking red flags, such as military or police, but I have always felt that many men who choose to enter female-dominant professions are...slippery, like they're hiding something.
I don't know if other FDSers have had the same observation, or if I'm totally off the mark.
Men think that if they dont want to get you pregnant, then they won't get you pregnant. They think it's a magical, mystical, horrible thing that could never happen to *them*, rather than a simple, predictable biological process. Because pregnancy doesnt happen them, it's not real to them.
This is also why men get mad and blame women for getting themselves unplanned-pregnant, despite the fact that he had absolute control over preventing that unplanned-pregnancy.
Wanna get in a long, enraging, pointless fight with moids on reddit? Say "pregnancy is always men's fault".
If a guy refuses to wear a condom he does not deserve to be having sex with you.
I’m so sorry you experienced this. I know how horrible it feels to put so much energy into trying to negotiate your (usually fucking obvious) needs and it still doesn’t work out, which inevitably makes you wonder what YOU did wrong. I’m feeling very depressed on this holiday, and have been thinking that women need to be trained to negotiate from a young age (both in regards to relationships and in the workplace). The story you shared makes it extremely clear, however, that the most important part of negotiation is that you need to actually be willing to walk away. I think Lilith mentioned this on the podcast about sales? At this point I’m kind of thinking all women should be going to business school! Anyways, lest I seem to have gone too far on a tangent: I’m proud of you and it is FUCKING INSANE how many men are willing to subject women to such a high level of risk, including having to incur invasive procedures such as pregnancy or abortion or even the fucking morning after pill (and I include IUDS and hormonal birth control as invasive procedures) just so that sex can feel slightly better for them (I definitely find sex feels better without a condom but SO WHAT?!? Plus they're already practically guaranteed to cum, which is more than most women can say!) and how god damn normalized this is! It's extremely alarming.