.png)
Does anyone know why so many men have these traits?
It's something I've long wondered about men. What causes them to behave in any of these ways?
One thought I've long had is that the reason why many of them are like this is due to the restrictions they had on their emotions. I wonder if because so many of them weren't allowed to fully express themselves, especially expressing "feminine" feelings like liking someone, loving someone, feeling hurt, etc, that that has made many of them become obsessed with keeping any woman they're able to get their hands on for fear of losing out on someone they can finally express themselves to. I sometimes wonder if because of their limit on expressing their interest in women without looking like "simps", many of them that have expressed interest in women regardless of this fear are possessive because they fear losing a woman that they were able to be vulnerable with.
I wonder if they want to control women because they felt controlled by not being able to express themselves fully. There's also the whole thing of people wanting to control others because they can't control themselves.
Of course, what happens in a man's childhood by no means excuses him from hurting anyone later on in life but I just wonder if this is what makes many of them behave in either of these ways.
What does everyone think? I'd really really love to get opinions on this because the answers I've found online don't seem to really get to the heart of the matter and I'm still not satisfied or convinced by the answers I've seen.
Besides psychological issues it's an evolutionary strategy: mate guarding
I don't believe men have the emotional depth that women do. They're allowed to express the emotions they have all of the time: rage, jealousy, manipulation, obsession, hatred, etc. Nobody stops men from being loving. That's because they don't love. They're incapable of it. They're very HEmotional. Look at the millions of them who are in jail for rape, murder, robbery, etc. What's more emotional than raping and murdering someone? Total lack of critical thinking goes into crimes like those. Just plain old covetousness and feeling like you're owed what someone else has--even their body and life.
I don't believe it has to do with being abused, rather how they were socialized, I think it's more related to low self esteem and where they get thier value from, and since women are viewed as property, men are viewed as masculine if he can keep "his" women in line. Also they get an ego boost from being in a power position. Or in general being in a dominating position and women being submissive is what a man should be and if he isn't he should be be ashamed. It's more obvious if you look at really misogynistic societies, it's similar in the west but kinda watered down.
I honestly think very few men are both HV and securely attached. What you’re describing is every other toxic and dysfunctional attachment style and yes, a lot of it is from not knowing their own emotions, toxic masculinity, and eons of unquestioned privilege. Only a HV man can engage in enough meta-cognition to think about how he thinks and feels and review and change his own patterns. Another vetting tool: self-awareness, willingness to change, grow, shed old skin and make new and better habits.
Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir was really enlightening regarding this to me. And of course Why Does He Do That by Lundy. And Coercive Control by Evan Stark.
I think it's because women have been treated as commodities rather than people. Men, historically, have received an a cook, maid, supporter, homemaker, sexual releases, child-rearer, companionship, status, etc, (all unpaid and completely dependent on him!!) while men could go and do whatever they wanted to accomplish in the world. And men have entitlement, believing they deserve a woman. Most men actually don't like women, they just like what they can do for them. As women gain independence, we will see more men deploying controlling and possessive strategies.
Women can also be possessive, controlling, and obsessive. But due to institutional power and patriarchy, the effects on those men are very little compared to the effects of control on women. And I think women 's reasons for being possessive etc is because, historically, a woman's security was a man. So the threat of losing that man is the threat of losing her security in the world.
They are petty children who view everything they like as their toy nobody is allowed to look at. Men hate women they can't control the most. They desire or hate the women they can't have but take the ones they can have for granted all the time.
Men don’t see women as human beings. They consider us as objects only, to be used and controlled like an appliance.
If you study primate or other mammalian species (actually, just about any class of the animal species), males have different reproductive strategies to secure a mate and ensure that the female passes along his genes and not another males. That is what it entirely boils down to. Looking at non-human primates will give you great insight into how human males behave - you'll see a lot of parallels. For example, in some species the male will follow around the female simply to make sure she doesn't mate with another male. Male chimps have been known to lure females away from the troop with food in order to beat and rape her. Human males are no different, they just don't allow us to talk about it in those terms.
I forget who posted about her recently bringing her to FDS (sorry, whoever you are stand up and take credit please because THANK YOU) a YouTuber by the name of Princella Clark, The High Powered Podcast, shares quite a lot of information and commentary about how human males use strategies to reproduce. I have one particular video in mind but I can't quite remember the title, but I'll edit/comment later. But like I said she has a lot of interesting information and things to really consiser.
TL;DR Patriarchy is basically human male reproductive strategy, codified, to ensure that males get to pass along their genes.