When he says " You are a kind person" = does it mean he thinks you are naive?

A man I dated many years ago said a variation of this to me.

He bitched a lot about how his previous girlfriend was high-maintenance and entitled and told me, "I really like that you don't complain about anything." Meaning I was easygoing and low-maintenance.

When a man says something like that to you, it's manipulation, through and through. He is trying to control you by making you want to live up to his "nice girl" standards.

My ex rarely gave compliments but when absolutely pushed, in the lead up to to getting married to me, by my bridesmaid who secretly contacted him for a game she wanted to play on my bachelorette, he said ‘she’s the nicest person I have ever met’ - this was when asked what he loved about me.

I felt it was a bit lame at the time but whatever.

Looking back, I was a total mug who ended up doing everything, paying for everything and getting nothing I wanted or needed.

So I’m wary now of being seen as ‘nice’. Or kind. Even though I am. I don’t want a man to see me as that.

I had a boyfriend regularly tell me that I was "very sweet". Like others have said, it was often said either with no context or when we were making out. In hindsight, I think he either (a) meant that I was sweet because I put up with his bullshit or (b) he was saying it while we were making out because he thought I'd be more likely to sleep with him if he said something nice. (Let's face it, words like "nice", "kind" and "sweet" are kind of generic, meaningless words. They're the kind of words people use when they want to say something nice but can't think of anything specific to say).

Yes, that makes sense.

I got told ‘You have a big heart’ etc.

It’s the context that gives them away, unless you’re doing (or telling them that you did) something kind right then/there, and it’s said out of context, usually as they’re getting something (emotional support, in bed/sexual) it means you’re naive/getting taken advantage of.

I have told my boyfriend that he’s kind when I see him in other situations that I’m observing from the outside. The way I mean it is that he’s not prioritizing his own self-interest. I think it’s noble to be kind as long as you have some self-awareness that you’re allowing someone to take advantage of you a bit, but you are still willing to help them. Being kind is negative when you’re just naive and oblivious to someone using you. I wouldn’t call myself kind as I tend to act in my own self-interest as much as possible, except for select cherished people in my life.

In a word, yes.

I do a lot for charity and support women in business. I am like this not out of niceness but because I’m a feminist. I’ll not sit idly by and see the patriarchy ruin this incredible world and that comes across. People comment on how busy I am or how engaged I am. They often remark on how much I seem to be enjoying myself. I’m never called nice or kind as these are largely demeaning words when applied to women (and I’m a bit scary).

Where men have tried to use those words it has 100% been about trying to make me more amenable, “oh I’m sure you’re nice really.” No, I am not. It’s a great vetting tool. If a man says I seem nice or kind I laugh and apologise for misleading him.

When I gave an earful to the last man I was seeing he replied to me with you are a good girl, you are not like this. I replied with oh yes I am and hung up. Its not a compliment imo.

From what I've gathered, it's generally meant as a diminutive, backhanded 'compliment' by scrotes for "I think you are or could be gullible and/or desperate enough to put up with my manipulative, immature, or abusive behavior".