When did you feel like your ideas on men were changing?

When men started to talk about the wall, That's where I realize that they are predators by nature and also pedophiles by nature. Like what's wrong with dating women your own age? Why are you perving on men knowing very well the age back is too big?

I have a neigbor who married a man 25 years older than her and she's complaining everyday that she needs to take care of a burden, he can't walk, needs assistance with almost everything, she is wasting her twilight years away taking care of a scrote. 60 is neither young nor old but is stuck at home because he needs 24/7 care.

Yet women need to stand in line to date older men because they deserve love..

No they don't, those who use their prime years well deserve it.

I'm in my late 30s.

My radfem journey started in my late 20s, when I could no longer ignore the fact that women were giving way too much and getting way too little from men.

Particularly, I noticed women my age (late 20s, at the time) spending monumental amounts of time, money, and effort to maintain relationships with men who could not wait to fuck and discard every woman they met.

I noticed men in their late 20s and beyond creeping on (or wanting to creep on) every teenage girl they laid eyes on, while their wives and girlfriends pretended not to notice.

In my 20s, I could cover my eyes, plug my ears, tell myself #notallmen, and live in denial. By the time I turned 30, I could no longer live in denial.

Oof. This takes me back.

I was brainwashed in college by fundamentalist Christian ideas, that women are lesser beings and men are supposed to lead and provide. I badly wanted to belong, (traumatic childhood) so I literally married a religious guy I'd never kissed and we began our super religious life together when I was 22. He lived off the church (lazy scrote refused to make money), and told me I was materialistic when I mentioned that we didn't have basic necessities or a safe place to live.

We had 3 kids, and after 13 years of absolute misery with his pathetic ass I noped out. I had a 7, 4 and 1 year old, and I finished grad school while working full time time and raising the kids. I STILL longed for a strong man to "save me." Holy shit dark times.

Still brainwashed by patriarchal religious thought and scared to death to be alone, I later married an abuser who seemed to be crazy in love with me (lovebombing anyone?). This was terrible for my kids and me. I eventually found myself in a battered women's support group and realized my life was all wrong. Fortunately my career was good, and I was able to get out and be better off financially without his dead weight.

So I hustled my butt into therapy (hooray!) and slowly clawed my way out of decades of pro-men, anti-woman pickme decisions. It took many years of therapy & trauma recovery (EMDR ❤️!), but I'm now a proud Radfem and pro-woman.

I found FDS 2 years ago, and it was the first time I felt seen and understood. I am SO grateful. And since then I've sought out more and more feminist and pro-woman resources. It has been a beautiful wake up call, and I feel whole.

For years I knew the truth about men. But I was afraid to admit it, and certainly NOT say it out loud. Society punishes women who point out how terrible men really are.

• Among religious people, I was told over and over to "submit" or "god will reward good wives" or "kindness and purity will make everything work out." I was strongly discouraged from standing up for myself, and told by one church leader that men are allowed to beat their wives.

• Among liberals, I heard that men need sex and sex workers, and men are entitled to porn and to women's bodies. Barf

• My friends who have sons get super defensive & "not all men," even when their sons are absolute shits

So...I'm 51. Happily single. Thriving business owner and mom to 3 mostly-grown kiddos. I made every single mistake a pickme can make. Thank Gaia I escaped.

Wiser now, and finally at peace as a strong woman. 💕

After I dated a “successful handsome” man with narc traits. I remember being in utter confusion the whole time.

I remember my gorgeous mom (who is still married to my dad) would make comments about the tendencies of men. She would say things how you can’t take a man seriously, that modern dynamics are unfair, etc. I thought she was dramatic. Now I see she was woke. She also could not stand women that would live in denial and hype up their male partners, it would make her cringe. But in the rare occasion someone we knew did find someone that appeared to be a HVM, she was supportive. B

After my very first relationship with a man, my ideas and desires with what I wanted out of life changed.

I thought I wanted the college sweetheart route, where I dated someone (that seemed) perfectly “safe”, have kids with him, and that would be the end of it. Hahahaha

He started to realize quick that I wanted something serious with him and started being really disrespectful towards me thinking that I would not leave him. Granted, we were dating and I treated it like a marriage, because I thought we were going to be together forever! Lol I was so naive.

On the outside he was a good guy, but it was “off”. Especially, when we had Korean bbq, he’d always give put meat in my bowl, but it was always burnt/charred pieces, and he’d eat the good ones. Whenever he would hold my hand and walk, I was always being pushed into the ice and snow, while he walked on the shovelled pavement.

Getting him to do help me out with daily obstacles I face was hard. He’d deliberately be really rude with his responses to try to get me to find other ways. When I did, he’d get really upset or embarrassed. This one time, I really needed a ride to deliver work documents during a snowstorm, and I couldn’t afford the expensive two-way Uber ride(surge prices). He didn’t want to get out of bed at 6am and drive 30 minutes to see and drive me to work, but he had offered to have brunch with me later that day. In the end, my neighbour (an old retired lady) offered to drive me to deliver those documents and she also took me home too. Upon hearing who had helped me, he got mad and embarrassed. I really think that I was in a very disadvantaged position with home, work, and personal life in general. I really needed someone to show up for me, and I kept hoping it could be him. Sadly , he just kept disappointing me once he got too comfy and thought I wouldn’t leave.

Luckily, I found the courage to leave. He had the audacity to threaten me by saying that I’ll never find anyone good as him when I finally had to bravery to take him up on his offer to break up. Another thing was whenever he didn’t get his way, he’d just say that we should break up. He just didn’t expect me to take him up on his offer. All I can say is that, he is the longest relationship I’ve had (because I was naive to stay), but he is definitely not the best.

He didn’t like that I wanted to further my education, because he couldn’t stand the idea of me having more education than him, and that it would mean that he would have to go to graduate school as well. What did I do when we finally broke up just weeks afterwards? I researched a ton of schools and programs, I applied in the fall, and got accepted in the spring. This degree was so much more helpful than he ever was as it opened many doors for me and got me a position at my dream company.

After that fiasco, I’ve learnt to be dependent on myself just a little more. I got my license, I have money, and looking towards having my own place. Now, I just live life doing whatever I want to do. I realized that I put so many restrictions on myself. I'm trying out new things (some of which you may see posted here). I'm starting to enjoy life by my own terms. I no longer have plans to sacrifice things that I like, or my curiousity to satisfy the needs of men. I consider this new chapter of my life to be this idea of extended girlhood.

It started alllll the way back in childhood, when I noticed that boys were all the sterotypes the media made them out to be.

It started in kindergarden tbh. But of course I got brainwashed during my upbringing and my teens by a sick society. So my ideas started to change again profoundly in my early 30s..after I've suffered years of emotional and mental abuse from each and every single one of the Ys in my life. Again and again. I woke up one day and realised they are all just vampires, sucking life out of us with nothing to offer. They eat the flesh and leave our bones behind. But the times are changing. I CAN FEEL IT. And let me tell you - they feel pressed and nervous big time.

The moment I realized Bell Hooks is indeed a bit naive was when an ex told me she’s the only feminist author who makes books that make men feel good

When I found out multiple crushes I had on boys in high school ended up raping my friends. And then I talked to some of them, and they A. Denied it, B. Said she'd be lucky, since she's "fat", "nerdy," etc, etc, etc. They do not view us as people.

i used to be trans ally until i heard of "lesbian penis" for the first time. that was when i started doubting the whole trans thing and became a radical feminist.

i used to believe that i'd be happy in a hetero relationship once i found a man who loved me, as in "fall in love". i think i did find one, but he ended up disrespecting my consent during sex. then i realized he didn't really care about me as a person. he just found me extremly attractive and he was desperate for a wife and a family. he didn't even want to talk to me when we were together, he just wanted to f*ck. so he love-bombed me and made me believe he truly loved me. i thought i was very smart and shielded from male BS at that pont, but the experience of believing a man loved me was new and intense, so i feel for it. that was when i understood that a man's 'love' is just selfishness. they don't love women, they love what we can do for them. they always obectify us, be it in a degrading way or creating an idealized version of us. both things are dehumanizing.