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do you reply with your preference and see how he responds or do you just drop it there and call it a lost cause?
Just curious about what your reaction might be in this situation as I just encountered this. A rando started talking to me on IG and he was kinda handsome and we had some mutual interests so I was mildly but cautiously intrigued. (Although something did seem a bit off about him as it generally does in 99% of these situations.) After exchanging a few messages he mentioned maybe we could "grab coffee or get some food sometime." I was immediately like eugh no but I responded that getting some food sounded good. So he essentially responds that we always could go to a cafe or get some pizza because he's "easygoing..." 🙄🙄
I'm probably just going to stop talking to him now entirely because I wasn't super interested to begin with and I know enough at this point to read between the lines and see that the clear message here is that he's cheap, lazy, low effort, also clearly pushy and can't take a hint (I don't wanna get coffee with you, dude. Stop suggesting cafes). If it was someone I was more interested in I would probably give it more of a try but wouldn't hold out much hope after he made a date suggestion like that.
What is it with these men and their stupid coffee dates? At least I'm at the point of evolution and awareness where it turns me off instantly. It strikes me as so low level because not only is it lazy but it's manipulative. These losers need to step it up.
Just stop talking to him. That “I’m easygoing” was a manipulation tactic to try and suggest that you’re not easygoing if you expect an actual date.
Also the “maybe we could…. sometime” shows he’s lacking in confidence. Confident people will ask more directly. It makes me cringe when I read that because I used to have low self esteem and when I wanted something from someone I would ask like that; and they would usually say “no.” (Not asking men out on dates; just asking people to do things in general.)
Definitely block and delete 👍
Rando could go date his pizza box.
If you know the answer why are you asking? Block and delete him immediately. He's a loser and you can't change that. He will never treat you right since what he wants is a pickme. Let men's actions speak for themselves and ignore him. He's not worth you wasting the time to make this post.
Edit: ALSO, social media isn't real. A man messaging you online is automatically a lame loser. Don't bother with these dudes. If he liked you he'd ask you out in PERSON. Focus on the men who approach you in real life. Social media is fake, the internet isn't real, and the only place where reality happens is outside. Online dating and messaging and whatever doesn't mean anything. A like or comment on a post doesn't mean anything. It takes zero effort and they probably did it while taking a shit on the toilet. Don't equate online attention with real life interpersonal relations.
He gets one chance. ONE. You reply with "I prefer more formal dates/I am accustomed to more formal dates/I prefer dinner dates" (phrase it however you like) and if he doesn't change plans to something well planned and to your liking cut him off.
If you respond to a man who offers a crappy date, he will either tell you to scrote up (no make up, no hose down, bummy clothes) so you are only worth a coffee/walk, or he will agree to dinner but act really weird with the bill later. Trust someone who went through this long before FDS, it's not worth it and I stopped dating for 11 years because most fools ain't got nothing to offer but stress and drama.