What to allow men in terms of multidating

If they are not going out of their way to impress and accommodate you, it doesn't matter what they say with their words. This is the minimum expression of interest from a man before you even think about "locking him down" (you can't, thats THEIR job to convince you to be with him). Please innerstand that almost all men lie, and almost all men want as many women as they can get away with having. If you took a moment to consider the psychology behind swiping on 20 girls before he looks at your pic for 2 seconds while farting on the toilet, you would never take it personally... and you'd probably delete the apps too. It's very hard to accept but true. Truth=(direct observation+real evidence)/time. That's just the world we live in where the Tinder swindlers and even actual murderers thrive on the anonymity of online dating and you have to vet like crazy.

I think you need to be more realistic about what men are. I've used the word delusional which doesn't take into account the brainwashing we've receive from birth, but what I mean is being fundamentally unaware of how men actually operate, and they are almost nothing like us in their motivations and thought processes, so I feel like if you knew that it might hurt less. You can't squeeze water out of a stone. Freeze your eggs or adopt if you really want a family but tbh we will be fucked anyway from the environmental destruction.. Ask yourself why you really want a relationship so much? The whole concept of forever marriage is rooted in control. Most couples who made it 20+ years had to compromise major parts of themselves, mostly the women, and tend to have a "it is what it is" attitude. Its not what makes them crazy happy in life.

Even with all the pickmes out there, the divorce rates are still over 50% in countries where women have freedom and the majority are initiated by women, because it's a raw deal. for us

Every woman should read this blog: https://trustyourperceptions.wordpress.com/2016/05/07/semen-mens-chemical-war-against-women-no-skip-intro/

And if you want to know the harshest truth about men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPMOjevpQko&ab_channel=InTheseTimes%3Aspeakingforthemind

Men are filled with testosterone, 20 times more than women, and socialized in a completely different way. We need to realize we are fundamentally different and in general cannot expect them to think & move the same as we do.

That being said it's not wrong to be disgusted by this behavior. It's just that your desire for control over the situation will only lead to more frustration. You cannot control anyone but yourself. You shouldn't even hate them because hatred and happiness cannot coexist.

The sad truth is with so many women evolving, many of us will not find our equal partner. You have to find a way to accept that and let go of control because this will never be something you can make happen off your own hard work like any other achievement. You can only choose to say yes when and if what you actually want shows up. Never settle.

Stop caring about dating at all. You ever heard that phrase "cherry on top"?

That's what dating is supposed to be for women. Not necessary to complete a delicious dessert, but nice to have as a bonus.

Society grooms women to want (sometimes need when they take away all other resources and nourishment) cherries more than the dessert itself.

That’s no way to enjoy food. You might survive on a diet of mostly cherries, but you won't thrive.

And there are too many rotten cherries in the world. You ever seen an enticing dessert with a rotten cherry on top?

Granted, sometimes you won't know it's rotten until you bite it open and see its insides...There's always a risk of a rotten cherry.

But as long as you don't swallow it, it can't hurt you. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth for a little while until you wash it out with something tastier.

And I don't care if people think it's rude to gag and spit out chewed-up food. Anyone who expects you to swallow rotten food out of "politness" is an abusive piece of shit who does not care about your well-being.

They only care about their image and what other people might think from you "causing a scene" (having a perfectly normal reaction to accidentally eating something yucky) over discovering a rotten cherry on YOUR dessert.

I would not kiss until the end of the 2nd date (only if it’s obvious it went well), but ideally 3rd date.

People love to rush things these days, but what they dont realize is the faster something burns the faster it usually burns out. There is no rush. Delay things for as long as possible so it gives him the chance to fall for you and show his commitment. If he dips because he didnt get kissed then he wasnt the right one anyway.

I believe the best relationships form when you’re friends first, which is why dating apps fail so miserably. When you meet organically (e.g at school or an event) there isnt this urgent expectation that you need to form a romantic relationship (like what dating apps do), so what I’m getting at is you have to try your best to mimic this with men you meet.

First of all, you can't control people. Men will do what they want. Your job is to observe and cut them off from the first red flag.

How would you know that? The guy could be married with kids and claim he's single. But if hey're actually being up front with you that they're dating other people, then it's just easier for you.

You block all those who want to be pen pals. Quite frankly, that cuts down like 80% of men in the apps.

You don't plan a date, it's the man's job. You're also not travelling anywhere (I'm talking about different cities, not taking a subway), he can if he wants to see you. IF. Most guys in the apps just want to chat anyway.

I'd say several days is fine but a week is the absolute maximum to chat without them asking for a date.

If they cancel last minute you block them. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is your time, it's precious.

You delete the apps 'cause they're an absolute dumpster fire. You've already said you don't want to date multi dater men, but that's all you can get from the apps unfortunately.

You're waaaaay too focused on the kissing. Forget that. Your job is to OBSERVE the man: how does he treat servers and staff? How does he communicate? Does he actually listen or is he just doing a monologue? Is he negging? Is he late from the date? Does he have manners? etc. etc.

You have to understand that any kind of expressions of affection are at the veeeery bottom of your priority list because you might never get there with the guy you've seen a couple of times. Usually I can't get that far before alarm bells start ringing from every direction.

That's good. I remember your posts a while ago and I can tell that you're not ready. When you gain more self-esteem and backbone you don't need a super detailed plan because you're simply gonna be turned off by bad behaviour and treatment.

Read the handbook