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I have been seeing this man for almost 4 months and he has always paid for our dates.
This week my friend from abroad is here and I asked him if he wanted to have dinner with us. I paid for my friend and me and later he made a joke about how I should have paid for him as well 🚩
Then he said he would take me to the beach (which is a 2h drive) and I asked him if it could be the weekend my friend is here so she could also go with us.
He then proceed to send me the costs of the trip (how much it would be for each one to rent beach umbrella etc).
I don’t know, but is this ok? I thought he could be generous and not want me and my friend to pay. Just because I asked him if we could take her does he think since I invited he wouldn’t be paying?
Besides, for the dinner thing is it really ok that not only he didn’t offer to pay but also he expected me to pay because I invited him?
I never paid anything for him and I don’t feel like I should.
He earns more than me and he does not pay rent and knows I don’t have much money because I just bought a house.
A real HIGH value man would behave like this?
A have a friend whose boyfriend would pay for her and HER friends who visited her from abroad but they were in a relationship for 3 years.
When is it okay to pay for something and at which point of the relationship?
In my opinion he has to pay for everything and also for my friend. And eventually like for his birthday I could offer him a dinner.
I got dry as the Sahara desert when he sent me "the costs"... he never showed any low value traits, as he always paid and planned dates.
I'm thinking if this could be a reason to dump him...
The dinner and beach trip with your friend were excellent opportunities for him to show that he is truly generous and has a provider mentality instead of just going through the motions by paying for your dates. A generous, HV man would have paid for you and your friend on both occasions without hesitation. Even a man who is just out to impress you and not really HV would have paid for both of you to show you he has money.
He failed that test spectacularly and wasn't even discreet about it.
Yeah, I think this is reason to dump him. He invited you to the beach and now he's sending you invoices for it: fail. Doesn't matter that you're bringing your friend. A HVM would step up and be proud to treat your friend because she's YOUR friend.
I'm not sure it can be considered mandatory for him to pay for your friend, but the way he's acting around this is showing that he's not truly generous. If it just wasn't within his budget, he would have respectfully told you he's happy to treat you but wants to make sure your friend can cover her own expenses. He wouldn't passive-aggressively send you invoices. He wouldn't make comments about you paying for his dinner. He seems to have decided that he wants payback for everything he did for you, which means he wasn't doing it out of a genuine desire to treat you, he did it for a reward. A HVM wants the people around him to be comfortable and he sure as hell cares about his own wallet more than your comfort on this trip.
You should never have to take your wallet out when you're with him, not for anything. Ideally he should be helping with the rest of your life, too: shopping, bills, etc. But as a bare minimum, you never pay for anything, plus he brings you flowers and gifts.
My male friend paid for my gfs dinner and I when we were at the same restaurant as him and his friends/wives but sitting at a different table. It was the first time he met my gfs in person.
My gf’s husband also paid for my meal with her one time when he came to pick her up after our outing is over cause her car was at the shop. These men did this without me asking and without me even dating them!! Can you imagine someone you want to be in a relationship with?
He was doing well for himself until he “joked” about wanting you to pay for his dinner.
He has now shown you he is full of small dick energy.
It‘s block and delete o’clock for you.
I don’t think he’s being generous here. I don’t blame you for drying up when he sent you the costs of the trip.
I personally want my bf to pay for everything when we’re together. I’ve been with my bf for 6 months and I don’t think I’ve paid for anything. This includes dates, when we go shopping together, we went away for the weekend for my bday a few months ago and he paid and planned everything for me and he’s planning another weekend away for us soon and I doubt he’s gonna send me a list of expenses. I think this is how it should be if you are not married.
It’s probably not a joke when he said you should have paid for him too. Actually it would have been nice for him to pay for your friend that night. Especially if he makes more than you.
It’s only been 4 months. I think he’s just getting lazy and is done treating you to nice things.
Seriously? This is about as LV as a man can get. You don't need to twist yourself into a pretzel trying to figure this out. He's cheap, he made you feel humiliated, therefore it is time to block and delete.
REALLY. Ladies. All you need to pay attention to is how a man is making you feel. If anything is icky, well, you know not to waste another moment's mental energy on him and MOVE ON. Men are not complex puzzles. The good ones make you feel great and the bad ones will make you feel all sorts of unpleasant emotions.
There is not a diamond lurking beneath the shit crust here, I promise. Get rid of him and reclaim your dignity.
His mask slipped. He was acting generous to win you over…but he isn’t truly generous. A HV man only courts a woman he is truly interested in, and he would want to impress (and treat!) the friends of a woman he was truly interested in. GOOD JOB on not making excuses for him and seeing these red flags for what they are: his true colors.
Good for you spotting the red flag comment of “you could have paid for me too” 🤮 huge red flag
Whenever I hangout with my girlfriend, her husband always pays for me.