How can you know if the guy you are with is racially feitshing you?
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Oct 01, 2023
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This. I've noticed with men, pretty much any racial preference is also a racial fetish. Since the differentiation isn't important when weeding out scrotes, I avoid any man who expresses even a mild preferene for dating someone of my race.
That's a good boundary to have. If they mention anything about liking a particular race, it's probably sus. I do have a mild preference for men of a certain race (it doesn't matter that much though, I've liked all kinds of guys). Once I ended up with a guy of that race who was also attracted to my race. But he sounded more creepy and fetishy about it than I did. And he also insulted women of his own race and said he didn't find them attractive. Huge red flag for me. And racial self-hating is weird af and a huge turn off.
This. Basically talking about a woman's race like it's an ice cream flavor. 🤢 I've had a guy in my presence say that he "really want[s] to f a [my race] shawty" when I was the only person there of that race 🤢🤢🤢 They make it really obvious when they talk about or put too much emphasis on specifc races in a sexualized manner, completely forgetting that they're talking about actual people and not objects.
I have a racial preference based on features unique to a race, finding the colour of skin attractive, aspects of the culture etc.
Men usually give themselves away that it’s a fetish when it relates to sexualised things (i.e. black girls/booty, or petiteness of women from other races, submissive nature of women from certain cultures)
It’s what they SAY about why they like you, related to your race.
Mehh I don't know if there is much of a difference. I feel like normally a "preference" towards a race is followed by a dispreference disdain and disrespect for women of their own race so that's going to be a no for me. I think it's a red flag when men have race preferences towards women.
It's pretty much what zee2.0said. If you doubt that they are with you mostly because of your race, then you should test them with questions. For example, on what they like on an woman, and ask yourself if the answer relates to a common stereotype imposed by foreign males on your race/ethnicity. But usually, guys are good at lying, so being attentive to their actions or browser history (especially the kind of porn they watch) is also useful.
A fetish actually is a preference but for niche reasons. (See the the reasons I think are common below.)
The difference between a preference and a fetish?
Just an opinion but
A preference is:
📌Not a hill you'd die on
📌Isn't about solely physical attraction without humanizing the person you are interested in. You aren't preferring someone for physical alone so, your preferences are your own.
📌Not about coercive control or a kink
📌And a preference is usually private because it's again, just a preference, not a prejudice.
A fetish is:
📌Proud, Public - Why, oh why do NV men (and pick mes) publicly and proudly advertise their fetishes? Usually "positively" public
🚩Is you using someone as an object of objectification. Not even necessarily desire. Objectification. [Side note: Obsession with objectification results in abuse, even if the man only does it via porn. He is still objectifying women as a willing visual participant in his mind.]
Which brings me to the most important point:
🚩A fetish, while not exclusively sexual, is often how men gain power (and so like rape, many confuse a fetish with purely sex, but it's more about power-via objectification- even if they are submissive, the man is still objectifying a female Domme)
✨️This isn't true about all preferences and fetishes, obviously ...there are exceptions. Not including atypical scenarios in my explanation.
I agree with @femsupremacy,. " With males it's almost always a fetish"
Also fetishization is so dumb. They assume women of the same race are all the same. Those predators are probably creating an image of an ideal woman( submissive etc.) in their head and trying to force that on women. The world doesn't work that way.
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you can usually tell by the way they talk about it..
eg
"ohh.. you'r 'x' race? I've never been with an 'x' before"
I have a racial preference based on features unique to a race, finding the colour of skin attractive, aspects of the culture etc.
Men usually give themselves away that it’s a fetish when it relates to sexualised things (i.e. black girls/booty, or petiteness of women from other races, submissive nature of women from certain cultures)
It’s what they SAY about why they like you, related to your race.
Mehh I don't know if there is much of a difference. I feel like normally a "preference" towards a race is followed by a dispreference disdain and disrespect for women of their own race so that's going to be a no for me. I think it's a red flag when men have race preferences towards women.
It's pretty much what zee2.0 said. If you doubt that they are with you mostly because of your race, then you should test them with questions. For example, on what they like on an woman, and ask yourself if the answer relates to a common stereotype imposed by foreign males on your race/ethnicity. But usually, guys are good at lying, so being attentive to their actions or browser history (especially the kind of porn they watch) is also useful.
A fetish actually is a preference but for niche reasons. (See the the reasons I think are common below.)
The difference between a preference and a fetish?
Just an opinion but
A preference is:
📌Not a hill you'd die on
📌Isn't about solely physical attraction without humanizing the person you are interested in. You aren't preferring someone for physical alone so, your preferences are your own.
📌Not about coercive control or a kink
📌And a preference is usually private because it's again, just a preference, not a prejudice.
A fetish is:
📌Proud, Public - Why, oh why do NV men (and pick mes) publicly and proudly advertise their fetishes? Usually "positively" public
🚩Is you using someone as an object of objectification. Not even necessarily desire. Objectification. [Side note: Obsession with objectification results in abuse, even if the man only does it via porn. He is still objectifying women as a willing visual participant in his mind.]
Which brings me to the most important point:
🚩A fetish, while not exclusively sexual, is often how men gain power (and so like rape, many confuse a fetish with purely sex, but it's more about power-via objectification- even if they are submissive, the man is still objectifying a female Domme)
✨️This isn't true about all preferences and fetishes, obviously ...there are exceptions. Not including atypical scenarios in my explanation.
I agree with @femsupremacy,. " With males it's almost always a fetish"
Also fetishization is so dumb. They assume women of the same race are all the same. Those predators are probably creating an image of an ideal woman( submissive etc.) in their head and trying to force that on women. The world doesn't work that way.
If it's same race as his own it's a preference. If it's not, but his exes are all same race as you, then he's fetishising.
It will come out in how he speaks with his male friends especially after some alcohol.
There are a lot different races and ethnicities where I live, a lot of men want to "play the field" and "sample variety". 🤮