Whether its the endless topics we discuss on here about how warped and evil a lot of men are or the many and unending things I read about men in the world, my question is what the title of this post is: What is the end game for men when it comes to the mistreatment of women?
Why would a group of people find a million and one ways to put down the other gender that shares this planet with them? The same men that mistreat us complain and are confused when we no longer want them when all they have to do is to stop mistreating us. What gives?! It's absolute lunacy to keep doing something that makes you lose while complaining that you're losing. It's like wanting to lose weight but eating 5 buckets of KFC for every meal, every day, yet complaining that you're piling on the pounds.
When you read about abusive men, rapists, narcissists, players, etc, they all have the same MO. It's as if there's some Men's Guide to Pure Evil book out there that all of them read and get their ideas of mistreatment from. I can't understand why men consistently and relentlessly hurt women. Can anyone give any insight into why they think this is?
Trying to decode male logic is like trying to divide by zero. Don't even try.
I don't think it's hurting them- by hating and mistreating women, they get to live objectively better lives. Patriarchy benefits men immensely after all. I know it doesn't really benefit them at a deep level, but for all practical reasons it does
Also, the biological viewpoint is that there is a struggle at the genetic level to pass down y chromosome. This is their only endgame. This is easier when they have control over women and its why most men see women as simply baby making incubators. 'Trust Your Perceptions' is a blog that dwells deep into this perspective and research. I highly recommend reading it.
If they mistreat women, sure some of them might leave- but the way abuse works is by trauma bonding and brainwashing. That's why the majority women don't leave- it's difficult for the human brain to be 100% resistant to abuse, especially when relatively subtle. It's a psychological hack that works incredibly well.
My point is- they aren't really losing. Atleast they don't feel like they are losing.
There's no end goal, they simply enjoy the process. And since they lack self awareness, they can't come to the natural conclusion that it's their hatred that fuels their misery.
Have you read 'Why Does He Do That?' because that has the answers you're looking for.
It's learned behavior that benefits them in the immediate short term
Because having power feels good. To everybody. When I do something that gives me more power (physical health/strength, financial security, being good at something useful) it makes me feel good. Women just also have empathy so we don’t go trying to subjugate people just to make ourselves feel more powerful by and large.
A minority of men are good at life and can get power through professional success and whatnot. But all men, individually and through patriarchy, can usually find some woman to lord power over to make themselves feel bigger. Think about that “chain of yelling” comic. Boss yells at man, man feels powerless so he yells at his wife to feel like he has power again. Or British football team loses, man feels powerless by proxy, beats up wife.
I’ve been mulling over why so many men are totally okay with being rapists recently, and that’s the conclusion I came to anyway. They feel power from it, and chances are it won’t result in consequences that reduce their power. And they lack empathy to mitigate that equation.
What others have said- there is no end game. They can't think that far ahead- they're all about immediate gratification. This is something we can actually use to our advantage if we're stuck in a relationship with a scrote (in my case, being forced to coparent with one). My ex is incredibly devious, but he's very messy. He tells so many lies that he has a hard time keeping track of which one he used to benefit which situation. For example, for our custody case, he stated that he had a "thriving security business"- because he thought that would make him sound like a stable father figure. However; for our child support case (same courthouse, but different judge) he stated that he was disabled and on social security due to being unable to work for several years. Both were true, of course- he WAS collecting social security, but he also had an under the table security business (and yes, I've reported it to social security; and no, they didn't seem to care- they are aware people do this all the time). I was able to take admissions he'd made during our custody hearing to support my position- that he was willfully withholding child support.
I feel like it’s because nvm see us as inferior possessions that can be used as tools/prey.
These men share strategies so, they can temporarily put up a front that can convince a women he’s harmless and beneficial to her life. That ends once he‘s trapped her or got what he wanted.
Usually a lvm/nvm will try to reach that goal with the minimum amount of effort he can get away with.
If we stand up for ourselves and show signs of confidence or independence the men think we need to be “put in our place.“ Usually through mocking, negging, manipulation or physical intimidation.
I think men enjoy doing these things. Men prove it by frequently watching tiktok cringe compilations, videos of men hitting women, 5 hour long podcasts of men insulting women and violent porn ect. They’re living vicariously though the men in the videos. Then taking part in the abuse themselves by mocking /doxxing the women in the comments.
I know some of them get off on driving these women/underage girls to suicide. They get to experience the pleasure of killing someone AND have a much smaller chance of being held accountable. “She made her own choices” “She was just too sensitive” They’ll watch and share the same videos over and over even after her death.
Men LOVE watching women fail, cry, embarrass themselves, fall to the ground, scream, get hit, be insulted, sexually degraded and laughed at.
This content reinforces their superiority complex and fills them with euphoria until he needs a stronger “fix”. Eventually repeating the behaviors himself.
Men also love to compete on being “savage and based” to look good in front of other men and get male validation. If a hvm is in the social circle he’ll be turned on by the group and get called a “simp, betta, cuck, special snowflake ect” for even daring to defend a woman.
More examples on this kind of behavior:
If he is frustrated with his boss? The woman can now be used as an outlet for his anger and insecurity.
Does he want a higher social status/legacy or does he crave narcissistic supply? Then the woman needs to pop out as many kids as possible so he can make a bunch of
mini versions of himself. If she refuses he feels its his right to stealth her. Does he NOT want kids but still wants sex? Well condoms don’t feel good for him so his forever girlfriend better get on birth control pills/implants with all kinds of side effects.
If she‘s accidentally late for one pill by 30 minutes or starts a new medication that reduces the birth controls effectiveness then shes “baby trapping him” and HE’S the victim because now he has to support a life he contributed to creating. 🥴
Is he too lazy or mediocre at cooking/cleaning and too broke/cheap to hire a personal chef and maid? Then he needs a woman in the house to do it for him for FREE. “Get back in the kitchen!“
Oh, he’s nsecure/narcissistic about his own cleaning/cooking skills? Then he can micromanage and neg her as she’s working around the house.
Does he have an erection or crave sexual validation? Well then he acts as if he’s literally dying until his “inferior tool” relieves and fixes the problem for him. If she doesn’t then he feels its justified to coerce her, rape her, hit her, cheat on her, or watch porn.
Does he want to impress his friends, brag and feel validated? Then he feels it’s justified to negg and manipulate women to be his arm candy, notch on his belt or free porn star that sends him nudes. If that doesn’t work? Then he can project his insecurity on women and say “they’re shallow and evil.” and feel its justifiable to abuse, harass, kill or rape them.
If it does work then he can avoid accountability by solely blaming the women “for making bad decisions” or he’ll say ”body count” doesn’t matter for men and deludes himself into believing the women he coerced are “Inferior idiots with mental problems” and that its not his fault because “he can’t control his poor tempted pee pee” He still wants to settle down with an 18-21 year old virgin though. Usually when he’s around 30+ and balding.
I can go on and on with examples but you get the idea. Sorry if theres typos/grammar errors I’m on mobile and will make a few edits later.
Andrea Dworkin said the end goal of patriarchy is necrophilia being legal so idk
It makes them feel good. It's really that simple. They want to feel powerful and it feels good to punch down
Because they know, deep down, they are the weaker sex. Because they know deep down that they NEED women, but women don't need them. Because men are codependent on women and they know this and resent us for it. Because patriarchy told them they are the superior gender, but when they see women out doing them, they need to beat us back down to their level. I can go on and on.
“Abusive and controlling men specialize in causing confusion.” - Lundy Bancroft, “Daily Wisdom for ‘Why Does He Do That?’: Encouragement for Women Involved With Angry and Controlling Men” (2015).
Why? Here’s some clarity: because getting power and control over women is beneficial to men as a class. Even good men benefit from the way bad men treat women, if you really think about that.
I feel like the end game for my ex was to get me to accept mistreatment so he could have me while doing whatever he wanted. I specifically think things were going to go in the direction of other women. Basically I think as a whole men want women to be their possessions and to have all the control. They want to suppress us and treat us however they feel like treating us. They do not enjoy having to put on a show to get us to like them. They do it because they have to. They want to not have to put on a show and just get to control us as their birth right.
Lundy Bancroft explains all of this in “why does he do that”.
Highly recommend!
Thank you all for your answers!!
i think you would have to ask men, and they would probably all have a different answer.