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Obviously it will be dependant on the type of situation I am in and threat asessment.
For example, if I am completely alone, and a guy calls out to me- my first/only instinct is to completely ignore it, and get away ASAP (by speed walking or even sprinting if necessary).
However, most of the time when this occurs, I am walking down the street and a guy will come up to me and say something to the effect of "excuse me, can I talk to you?", or "Hi, I wanted to let you know that I think you're really cute", and one time, when I had gotten off the bus and was walking into the metro, a guy who had been sitting in front of me on the bus came up to me, and showed me his phone which had the notes app open and there was a note that said "Hi, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen........" (there was more to it, but I just walked away immediately once I realized what it was).
My main reason for posing this question is because the other day, I had left work (I work downtown so it is always quite busy/people around) and was waiting for the streetcar to take me home. As I was standing there minding my own business, this obese scrote came up to me and said "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really cute, and I....."
I then yelled "Ew, go away!" and walked a bit farther away until the street car came.
I am not going to even ask y'all why THE FUCK these "men" think it's apporpriate to approach a woman in this manner LET ALONE late at night, LET ALONE when she is clearly trying to get TF home (the reason why is because they are selfish scrotes). It is one thing if a man approaches a woman in a bar/some other social setting where it may potentially be apporpriate to engage in this type of behavior (assuming he backs off immediately at the first indirect/direct sign of disinterest). However, I mainly wanted to ask how I should have handled that situation above, in the most humiliating way possible (for him). The reason why I say humiliating, is because that is how I felt in that moment (and every similar situation) when a fucking loser thinks that he even has 1% of a right to talk to me (or any woman) unsolitictly (LET ALONE AT NIGHT WTF). If you go to my post history, I just reposted an article about how more than half of single men are afraid to approach woman in fear of being labled creepy, however I don't believe that for a second. There is no fucking way a GROWN man living in a Western (or any) country (immigrated too or not) is unaware that it just might be a little unsettling to tell random stranger that they are "cute".
Obviously if the situation was that I was alone and no one was around, and there was a high chance I was in legit danger, my 100% goal would be to get away from that person ASAP.
But, what could I say next time im in situation where I am approached in public like this? I wish I would have said something like "You are disgusting, BACK THE FUCK OFF", so he (or whoever) thinks twice about pulling this type of shit in the future to another woman who may be too shy/meek to humilate them like that.
Unfortuately, these men have no shame regardless (which is required to feel humilation), however, what do you guys think/what do you do if/when you're in a similar situation?
Sidenote: I am a white woman, living in Canada and 99.99% of the time (including all the instances above), this happens by a brown/South Asian man. My best friend of 10+ years is indian, and whenever this happens and I tell her about it, she basically tells me that the reason why they approach white woman like this (and hardly woman of their own race) is because they genuinely see white woman as "loose"/"sluts" etc. who will give it up easy for them. I am just including this info to ask if this is something others experience this as well, in this context.
I've had this happen a few times too. One guy even tried to drag me off the street. Your friend is correct that it's because they think white women are sluts and will open their legs for anyone.
I'm in Canada too — pretend you only speak French or be very loud and direct with your no
As someone who dated an Indian man from India for two years, I can confirm that this what most Indian me think of white women. I will link a post here. My ex told me all the Indian men he knew were shocked to find out that white women didn't just spread their legs for anyone like they thought when visiting Western countries. He was saying it's really hard for them to sleep with anyone in India if they are not married.
Most of them will have a temporary white girlfriend for sex till their mummy finds them an Indian woman socialized to be a doormat, maid, chef and child bearer that she approves off. It's very rare for Indian men to marry a white woman even they want to. They won't stand up to family.
I’m in Canada too! And when I’m randomly approached it’s always by south Asian men! I’m mixed race, but white passing and I’ve heard that about what they think of white women.
I remember one night I was out with friends and I was waiting for my bf at the time to pick me up. As soon as my friends Ubers came , this guy that was lurking came up to me and started talking. I didn’t say anything at all but then he asked where I was going and if he could drive me. So I said “You’ll take me to my boyfriends place? That’s so nice!” And then he didn’t say anything and just walked away 😂
Your friend is partially right. In mostly islamic countries I've found that they view American women (not just white women) as loose whores. I dated an Egyptian and Tunisian and they both told me this. But the larger factor is that you are white, and blonde I assume? Brown/black men all over the globe have a preference for white women, but more specifically blonde white women. They view that as the pinnicale of beauty, and they feel that will gain them the respect of the white male. I am sure your Indian friend knows this..I wonder why she only told you the slut part? Probably because she's secretly envious of you. Just saying... but yes, brown -black men have a preference for white blondes.
And for humiliation? I'd say, "I don't date fat guys!" Even if they aren't fat. It will cut their fragile egos like a knife
I think you handled it great! We need to make a fuss and be loud when men are being creepy. They don't want people to think they are creeps (although the easiest way would to not be one). Getting thar kind of negative attention from strangers will make them back off far more than our quiet no's.
I love how you handled the guy you said “ew” to. Like you, I’m utterly annoyed men when can’t/won’t take the hint that a woman doesn’t want to be disturbed/isn’t interested and it’s worse when the guy is gross. I also get highly offended and very put off when such men think they have a chance with a woman that is way out of their league.
I don’t blame you for being cautious. These morons are very unstable and as we know, are willing to attack women who reject them (or do much worse to them). If you’re in a safe space, let the guy know that he grosses you out and he should get away from you. Show disgust on your face so that you really register how repulsive you find them. More men need to be informed that we see them as creeps and beneath us. Many of them know that they’re losers but think women either don’t know or don’t mind. More women need to show men that we see them for who they are - LV and useless.
I treat them the same way I treat aggressive sales people or people who beg for money, because they are essentially beggars. I think it’s a waste of energy to think there is anything short of legal action that will discourage them from this behavior. They don’t have self-respect and they don’t care that everyone knows they are a creep, otherwise they wouldn’t do it in the first place. Treat them like they are a wolf if they follow you, and treat them like a snake if they are staring with their tongue.
I always keep in mind that men should not be approaching women for help. When dudes on the street say "can I ask you something" (ALWAYS while you're surrounded by men. Notice that?) I don't look at them, keep my face neutral and non reactive, say "no." firmly without giving them a chance to finish, and keep walking.
If dudes approach me to comment on my body or whatever, I smile and wave my hands as if they are trying to sell me something, and say "no thanks!" like I don't know the language. If they try to continue, I just keep wanting "no thanks! Sorry!" With an idiot smile showing no understanding. And then I walk on or move on to something else away from them.
I've had nonnative English speakers hit on me using a poorly pre-written note on their phone too. Like great idea dude, so effortful and surely shows how much you appreciate my unique individuality. They can't even be bothered to actually speak to women. They just hold up their phone.
"Ew, go away" is pretty great, tbh. LMAO. Any variation of calling his gross should do the trick. "Gross! Ew! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Maybe gag a little and fan yourself saying "god, youre disgusting", as I assume these guys all have nasty BO.