What is one tip that your mom/grandma gave you growing up that has stuck with you to this day?

My mom always knew that since she had a daughter, she needed to be very firm and unforgiving in relationships. She couldn’t put up with any shit, or be involved with any bad men because she had a daughter who was looking up to her and watching her. She needed to be my example. She was celibate and didn’t even look at men for the first 10 years of my life, as a single mother.

And when she did start dating again, I never met anyone. I think I met her ex when I was 14 and they had already been dating a year. And why is he an ex? Because his mask slipped, he started to get lazy, didn’t prioritize her, she wasn’t getting what she wanted from the relationship and after 3 years together, ruthlessly cut him off and out of her life. She's in her mid 40s now, back to being celibate, completely turned off and done with men. she ways they're more trouble than they're worth, she doesn't need or want a man for anything. shes living a completely content life with her family and her dog. She's thrilled that I've found things like FDS and radical feminism, says how proud she is of me for already cracking the code on dating and relationships at such a young age. how me and my generation aren't gonna go through all the shit that hers did. So really, her tip for me, was just leading her life by example. and giving me a really great female role model.

my grandma (mom's mom) also always says "how do you know when a man is lying? when his fucking lips are moving."

Mine was from a close family member -- "Never lend a man money. If a man asks you for money, leave him".

Love the proverb! Not sure I understand the love and sickness allegory though.

When I was 16 she looked at my hands which were covered in green marks from my fake rings and said “cheap attracts cheap”. I immediately started wearing pure silver and nicer clothes

"In a [romantic] relationship where the man does not marry the woman, only the man benefits."

- my grandma

She grew up in a traditional culture in the 1930s. She thought long-term romantic relationships (including prolonged engagements) between men and women were bad deals for the women.

She nailed it.

Always have something of your own. Property, land, savings, your own apt, a job - some form of independence. My mom and grandma grew up in a third world country. When my grandpa died, his brothers tried to strip my grandma of everything she owned. She had her paperwork locked down though, which wasn’t necessarily common for that era.

When my mom divorced my abusive father, he tried to take everything she owned as well. He not once ever paid towards the house SHE bought - thank goodness she didn’t lose stability when she left him. She retired early and is now living peacefully and just inherited a second house.

Thinking about the cost of items as hours I had to work to afford it instead of dollars has shaped and stopped a lot of impulse spending.

If a man hits you, he does not love you. It’s remarkable how that inner voice shaped my world view. I have always had this unshakable certainty, and no excuses attitude. And now I’m learning this extends to emotional and financial abuse/neglect as well, because when I love someone I always do my best for them.

Also, you cannot change a man! I love my mom.

My whole family is old south redneck going way back. I've got some gems lol.

"Don't you dare start it, but you damn well better finish it." - My mom, in response to me telling her there was a boy pushing me down on the playground. I broke three of his teeth the next time he did it, and was suspended for three days, but none of the boys ever picked on me again.

"Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." - My Memama (grandma) think about what can go wrong and have your contingency plan in place. This is the philosophy I live by.

"Fake it till you make it." - My Munner (other grandma) Have confidence in your abilities even when you don't feel qualified. I've googled my way through some pretty amazing stuff, including setting up and maintaining the current side-hustle-turned-full-time day job that I am expanding again.

"Money doesn't cheat." - My favorite Aunt. I think we can all figure out this one.

“When you get married, always have some money or a bank account that your husband doesn’t know about. You never know when you may need it. “

In other words, never be 100% financially dependent on a man and always have your own purse just in case things get sour and you need to leave.

“Nothing good ever happens after midnight.” (Translated; meaning scrotes will harm you if they can keep you out past reasonable hours.)

I had a wonderful primary school female stem teacher advise me to always pick my battles. Best advice ever. Especially in my current field.

I actually have a couple! My mom has always told me:

1. "Entre cielo y tierra no hay nada oculto." Meaning between heaven and earth, the truth will always come.

2. "You see how that tree grew up to be crooked? If nothing was able to make it straight, what makes you think a man will change?"

3. "While you're crying over him, he's out there fucking another women and living his life. You have the freedom to live your own now."

4. "He's a piece of shit, hell even my shit will run away from him!"

5. "The longer you stay with him, the more chances he has to disrespect you. How is this love for you?"

Unfortunately my mom, older sisters, aunts, grandmothers, etc. were all a product of their times and were massive pick-mes who ended up with (mostly) loser men who were disappointing. So I didn't get any little tidbits of wisdom from them BUT by watching them in day-to-day scenarios with these men, working their asses off for nothing, and putting up with ridiculousness I learned how I didn't want to be and have forged a new path forward. I'm the one now sharing tidbits of knowledge with them to (mostly) positive reactions. I think them seeing me succeed without needing a man in my life gives them hope that what they put up with doesn't have to continue in our family forever.

nothing sadly.