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What is with guys who mislead you with their job titles? Sorry this is just a bit of a rant. The only women's Meetup group in my area got cancelled 😭 so I went to a mixed Meetup the other day. We all introduced ourselves and people were curious to know what each person did for work. The guy next to me said he was an Engineer. I asked what sort of Engineer and he got so visibly uncomfortable that he started to shift in his seat for some time before admitting that he is a Sales Engineer. A woman who worked at the same company was also at the Meetup and she just said "I work in sales."
When I was in college a couple of years ago, I swiped right on a guy who had his company listed as Google on his tinder profile. When I got to the date we chatted for a bit and I asked him if he works for Google in a specific location. He got shifty and uncomfortable and said he was taking a Google course on Coursera so he could break into an entry level tech support job. He had a job interview lined up at the post office for the time being. He was 35 and living with his mother. (Huge age gap I know 🤦♀️).⛳When the waiter came by he insisted that we both get tap water and he ordered the cheapest appetizer on the menu for us to share.
Another time in college, I went on a date with a guy who said he was an engineer. The waitress excitedly said she was studying Mechanical Engineering and asked what kind of engineer he was. He got visibly uncomfortable and turns out he's just some sort of technician. These are just a few of several instances.
I'm wondering if this is just an American thing?
The US also throws "engineer" into non-engineering job titles. You get titles like Sales Engineer, Solutions Engineer etc. I suppose where I grew up, an engineer is associated with someone who uses a lot of mathematics, physics, programming for problem solving and building things.
When I visited Europe before the Pandemic, I actually did go out on dates with guys who worked at Google and Meta and they happily gave me a tour of their offices.
They also came across as very modest and unsure of themselves, despite this, they were VERY highly competent and had attended unis like Cambridge/Oxford and had PhDs. However, the American men I work with who show extreme confidence are as incompetent as they are confident.
I've noticed the men who do excel at their jobs tend to be soft spoken, quieter guys who are respectful, always willing to help, always polite and unsure of themselves.
Has anyone had any similar experiences?
American men love to 'upsell' themselves when they got nothing else going for them, and that's one of the ways they do it. Like with the height-challenged ones, they know we're looking for financially stable men and they put stuff like that hoping that once we've showed up we'll overlook the blatant lie because of their stellar personality & manners (that last bit is said with THE UTMOST SARCASM I'm able to conjure).
I regard it as a form of catfishing tbh.
I remember a man once told me that he "worked for the government" before a date. When I pressed him on the actual date, he admitted he was a cop and that he hid it from me because a lot of women see that as a red flag. Well, yeah.... Only date.
Men are always trying to get undeserved credit and status. They KNOW what they are doing, which is why they are uncomfortable when they get called out by someone (especially a woman!) who is actually in the field.
Never take information from a man at face value, especially what he says about himself. It’s a hard truth, but it’s a standard vetting step. There are so many unemployed/underemployed/NEET men out there, it’s embarrassing for them. Keep your standards high, eyes open, and don’t settle for a man who is dishonest or whose job status does not meet your standards and expectations!
This explains why I see so many “engineers” on dating apps. I also see a lot of men who list “own my own business” as their job. If they don’t say what kind of business it is I typically assume they are basically unemployed. I sometimes do artwork for an extra buck here and there so I guess I could say I “own my own business” but it definitely doesn’t pay my bills.
Love your commentary on American men. It’s spot on.
Australian men too! One OLD date I went said he was an executive manager of a highly regarded educational provider, but in reality, he worked on their customer service desk. Also said he was 5ft 9, but barely made it to 5ft 3. I could tell as I'm 5ft 4. Nothing wrong with any of these things, but why start of with all these lies!!! Job aside, did he really think I wouldn't notice he's not 5ft 9....!
Yes, if they don't have area of their profession listed, then they don't have any, not looking for anything serious, cheating or running from the law. Engineer is not an area.
Empty vessels make the most noise. Men let their need to be seen as impressive override everything else which is why they’re given to exaggerating things about themselves (aka lying).
Like you, it boggles my mind, how much men lie. Their chosen inability to just be honest at all times, (because let’s be clear, they can help themselves; they choose to lie) truly truly astounds me. Many of them lie because they enjoy deceiving people, women in particular, and many of them lie, because they are not confident with who and what they are, so they lie to look impressive.
Is it pathetic? Very. Will they stop it? Annoyingly, not any time soon. This is why I laugh when people say that lots of “good men” exist. Yet women have to vet everything a man says and does because they lie so friggin much. 
Lastly, you're spot on about the US having very different job titles. Everywhere else, an engineer is a person who is as you described. A "sales engineer" is news to me. Also, I have experienced guy's exaggerating or being vague about who and what they are. It's very unattractive to me.
This is so funny! 😂
canadian men do this too! I think it’s because they have nothing going on with them or they’re not where they want to be financially so they lie. I found as the older I got, I saw this more.
"Another time in college, I went on a date with a guy who said he was an engineer. The waitress excitedly said she was studying Mechanical Engineering and asked what kind of engineer he was."
LOLOLOL! Oh, that must have burned him to cinders! The fact that the 'female server' catering to your table was actually higher value than him in terms of ambition and capability, in his chosen field. Did he somehow bluster and rally, or did he spend the rest of the date switching between glowering at everyone and staring in self-loathing at his plate?
Literally! I’m British and my ex kept telling me how he was close to a promotion.
It’s 2 years later and he was told it’d be at least another year. 🙄
I appreciate this post because it reminded me of something a stupid scrote said, like “I’m kind of an engineer.” And then he would get all whiny and crybaby when something made him feel stupid. I think there are difference fields where engineers and technicians do very similar work and there are weird in between places. But I do find a lot of men just want to upsell themselves and make themselves sound better than they actually are. I think some people get like some narcissistic joy in feeling accomplished and intelligent without any of the work that entails. They’re so fixated on being right or better. It’s so annoying and should definitely be a red flag. I also really hate when they rely on others to dumb it down for them or use the most shallow techniques to appear smart (such as, following directions from someone else or memorizing random things or using jargon they don’t really understand).
Happens a lot in the UK.
It’s so weird.