What flaws could you put up with in a man?

I can put up with some nerd culture. It’s kind of a turn-off for me if a man is openly really into things I consider childish like cartoons and superhero stuff BUT as long as it’s not out of hand or over-sexualized (creepy anime full of pre-teen girls) I can accept it. I draw the line at Funko Pop collections though.

Mistakes than can be made undone is the only flaw I accept, Like "oops I forgot to get soda for you I'll head to the store right away".

Mistakes that can't be undone is instant block. After all If he wanted to he would.

Anyone can have flaws and short comings but a hvm makes it his problem to solve but a lvm expects you to accept him and his flaws.

For example forgetfulness due to a busy scedule, He said he'll give you a B day/christmas/graduation present and didn't get you anything because forgot. that's unacceptable and lvm behavior.

A HVM acknowledges that he's forgetful and puts a timer on his phone or put what he promised you on his to do list so that he can check the boxes and puts it on the first thing to do. by doing this he lets you know that his flaws is his problem to combat or adapt to, not yours.

flaws I can put up with:

• slightly messy apartment

• slightly messy car

• liking music, food, and art that I don't like

• not tall

• not having a perfectly shaped body

• not having an expensive car

• not born to a wealthy family

I would never put up with a man messing with my non negotiables which are exactly the things mentioned in your post i.e. Messy men who snap at you when stressed. As for toilet seat, I'm ok about it enough to just put the toilet seat up or down as per my mood, since I prefer it differently everytime 😅

So the perceived "flaws" I'm ready to put up with ( only once I see that he has solid HV foundational traits) could be

- toilet seat situation could be up or down but has to be clean from drops or whatever.

-doesn't need to text me everyday, but has to reply asap if and when I text. ( I don't text much either so I can adjust accordingly)

-I'm allergic to pollen (some flowers are ok for me) so not receiving flowers is ok. It can be substituted with something equally nice.

- I'm ok with him not being fashionable or following trends all the time. Someone who dresses casually/comfortably is pretty ok, however, dates or formal occassions need to be respected with proper attire.

- no need for defined muscles. As long as some of exercise and basic healthy meal habits are incorporated in his lifestyle, I'm not bothered much by body shape

-does not need to be highly intelligent as long as he respectfully listens to others when they share facts and knowledge and improves himself over things thatare necessary.

• bad sense/ no sense of home decor. As long as he’s open to letting me do that. (if married and living together). I genuinely enjoy decorating

• forgetfulness about more trivial matters

• bald (shaved, nicely shaped head) is fine

• can have different interests, as long as he’s open to learning about mine.

• I’m an introvert, but open to extroverts (not that that is a flaw!) as long as he’s respectful and attentive to my need for downtime/time alone (ie leaving a party earlier than he might naturally prefer to)

Had to think about this one, there's not a lot I would put up with tbh.

• I could appreciate a bit of jealousy as long as he didn't become toxic. I've dated so many men that just outright didn't seem to care (and some who even wanted to share me, EW) that for one to care enough to get jealous would be nice.

• A workaholic. It would be nice to date someone with the drive and determination that I have. Also nice to date someone who thinks sucess is earned, and goes after it instead of talking endlessly about his ideas hoping I will make it happen for him.

• No style. By this I mean is fine with me choosing paint colors & decor, and even up to helping him choose his clothes if he asks. I come from a family of men who own ONE suit that is only dusted off for weddings, christenings, and funerals, and around here the majority of men still think western wear is the epitome of fashion (which I definitely prefer to the skinny jeans and tennis shoes look that the transplants to here wear). If he wants his own space he can go build a mancave in the backyard or take over my garage office but I WILL HAVE my purple kitchen.

My boyfriend has a pet I don’t care for. It doesn’t suit my lifestyle and comforts. I find it loud, dirty, and needy. But he’s had this pet for many years, loves it, and takes excellent care of it with exercise, toys, vet appointments, baths, etc. He accepts that caring for the pet will never be my responsibility, and that when it passes away in several years, we will not get another pet anytime soon. We are both calm and respectful and understand each other's point of view. It gives me faith in our relationship that we can accept each other's current life circumstances while making longer-term plans for our shared future.

I think it's fine to not accept certain traits even if they're only small quirks. I have my own set of no-gos that don't bother other people or might even be desirable to them, but bother me enough to the point I do not want a man who displays them (some examples for me are workaholics, people with a short temper, people who use sarcasm a lot, meat eaters and gym rats). So don't feel like you "have" to compromise on these things just because everyone has flaws. Your HVM will have flaws you find easy to tolerate most of the time. Obviously not always – all people WILL go on your nerves at some point, it's just a matter of time. But the degree of annoyance and frequency matters here.

That said, here's some stuff I can tolerate:

• Is not a super high earner. Financial responsibility is essential, but his net worth isn't that important to me.

• Is not tall. I don't have an issue with short guys per se, as long as they don't have an inferiority complex around it.

• Same goes for dick size. Don't care about it much, provided he looks nice enough downstairs.

• Is a little "basic". It's fine to have fairly mundane hobbies and interests. They shouldn't be connected to toxic masculinity, and I prefer a creative and crafty man, but he doesn't need to be exotic in that regard.

• Enjoys gaming, provided it doesn't take over his life.

• Isn't as good at domestic stuff as me. He obviously needs to have basic competency in all areas so he doesn't depend on me, but I don't expect him to cook like me, for example, because I've been intentionally honing that skill for years (which many women also don't do). I enjoy hosting and homemaking and I'm fine with him only helping with that as opposed to taking it upon himself completely.

• Doesn't know every little thing about politics and especially feminism. I can "educate" a little, but he should be able to use his brain independently and not need me to update him on everything. Good character and morals are more important than being able to give an impromptu speech about politics.

There are some specific things in my partner which I tolerate because he is a truly good partner to me and I have decided not to judge him harshly over them. This is a grace I extend to him, which he knows and is grateful for. These things are:

• that he hasn't been able to 100% quit smoking yet (he has been smoke free for a while but is back to 1-2 shame cigarettes a week). He doesn't smoke in front of me, because I hate the smell. I know he is sincere in trying to quit, but it's a vice that's hard to shake. I can live with it.

• That he acts more spontaneously than me and isn't the best planner. Yes, it can lead to frustration sometimes. When I express I want him to take care of plans, he will do it, competently. But he just doesn't operate in the same way I do in that regard. We try to find a compromise between me letting go of control a little and him making more concrete plans more often.

• He still lives in the house he grew up in (separate apartment though, and has been managing his own household since the age of 18) and hasn't seen too much of the world yet for various reasons I can't fault him for. I'm a city girl who left her parent's house at 17 so I have a different outlook on some things. He is very open minded though and always ready to go on any adventure I want, so it's not deal breaker territory.

• He is very handsome to me and very much my type, but neither ripped nor super fashionable. He isn't the type that has women lusting after him left and right. Which might actually be a plus lol.

• He has a faith, I don't. It's never created any sort of problem because he practices privately and isn't militant whatsoever. Has never said any sexist, racist or homophobic BS on the basis of "muh religion" either. Our values are very aligned.

Great question. I don't mind bald men (is this a flaw?😂), but I can't be with someone who leaves the toilet seat up. I can't abide messiness because it screams a lack of consideration: if he doesn't clean it up, it means he knows/thinks someone else will. I don't mind a bit of tetchiness from stress because I get that way too. But I would appreciate if he could acknowledge this and apoligise later for it.

Another flaw I don't mind, which I know is a bit weird, is vanity. I think a little bit of vanity in a man is endearing. The same goes for jealousy. Taken to the extreme it's dangerous and unattractive, but in small doses, I don't mind it.

I can put up with slightly average looks unless he's totally unfit, ungroomed and repulsive looking. I place more importance in grooming rather than genetics.

I can also put up with uhm, a little bit of messiness. But not too much.

I can put up with occassionally planning activities but only if I am pampered like a princess in general.

I can put up with travelling as well because my job is remote and can be done anywhere.

I can also put up with slightly more household chores if I'm getting the benefit of princess treatment and pampering. Basically, I don't mind taking a larger share of managerial responsibilities, but I do want the financial support in exchange, the safety net as well as timely pampering so that I can continue to pour love into the relationship.

My husband hasn't read Harry Potter and doesn't like the beach. These are two things I love. 😭 Oh well still married him. But I'm not going to pretend I don't wish he liked both these things.

A big one for me is I prefer him a little naive or dumb about certain topics as long as he has a good heart and is willing to listen. I'd much prefer a himbo over a miserable, brooding asshole that pontificates about abstract issues and thinks he knows best (basically me but he'd be worse because men always are).

I don't mind him being a bit disorganised/forgetful as long as he is competent in some other way and it's not debilitating

Not being rich or having rich parents - I don't plan on being a housewife and would rather us both contribute financially and at home. That being said, they must make enough to match the lifestyle I want, and to support me if I have kids.

-I'm always on time or early, but I could but up with a guy who is usually 5/10 minutes late as long as he is apologetic. I have some friends like this, and it doesn't bother me too much. I know that they wish they were on time but have difficulty with organization.

-My bedroom can get pretty disorganized, but I'm tidy with shared living spaces. If we can both have separate bedrooms and take responsibility to clean up after ourselves in the shared living spaces, I don't care what's going on in his bedroom (as long as it's just disorganized rather than dirty).

-Ideally, I would like to work part-time and marry a high-powered HVM (doctor or lawyer) so I wouldn't mind doing more of the housework in general (but obviously not all).

-I wouldn't mind a man who isn't close with his family. I struggle with my family so I would understand if he also struggles with his as long as it's for similar reasons (i.e. not his fault).

-I wouldn't mind a man who is a little authoritative as long as he is also respectful. I would want my man to be the head of the house and take responsibility for steering our family well. If my husband thought something was immodest and respectfully shared that he was concerned about me wearin it in public, I don't think I would mind respecting that (as long as it was reasonable. I'm not going to wear a burhka.) Modesty is something I struggled with how to do on my own so I think I would actually appreciate his input.

-I don't want a guy who texts me very much or at all. I know this is important to some queens. I need my space and also find texting boring.

-No social media would be great.

Thank you for your comments ladies!

I don't mind short men, as long as they don't have Short Man Syndrome. Thinning hair I don't mind, either. When I was in my 20s it would have been a deal beaker, because premature balding is sometimes a sign of porn addiction or steroid use (or poor health in general), but it's not that unusual for men my age. As long as they style the hair they still have well.