What do you say when asked about your previous relationships?

I agree with this. Men just aren’t as curious as women. Not sure why. Maybe they don’t care, maybe they only have their own interests in mind. Really though, healthy adults don’t talk about exes.

What I do believe though, is that men who typically pry are attempting to gain sensitive information to hold against the woman at some point. Lundy Bancroft, the entire DV men’s behavioural change industry, and my years of professional experience working in forensic behaviour with abusive and predatory men give me confidence to express this point.

Keep your dirty laundry to yourself. If you must disclose information, speak in a pleasant tone and say you weren’t compatible and held different values. Do not sound bitter. Do not disclose trauma. It can and will be used against you.

This is hard when your shitty ex husband in your life being shitty 🤣🤣 my future partner will have to deal with his drama unfortunately so this isn’t something I can hide 😩🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh for sure. My comment was more so focused on oversharing trauma. It absolutely is the right thing to do to disclose if you’ve been divorced, have co-parenting arrangements, etc. Just remain emotionally neutral when discussing this, save the venting to close girlfriends and/or your therapist.

A lot of women might feel offended reading this at first, but women as a collective have a tendency to overshare personal information because we’ve been socialised to be vulnerable. I understand much of it is related to our instinct to empathise and socialisation to be communicative, but women need to stop projecting female thoughts and behavioural patterns onto men. Males do not think like us. Males simply do not view the sharing of trauma as a respectable quality. Abused woman = "damaged goods" in their eyes. Not my opinion, just the harsh reality of male behaviours. Saying this is not anti-feminist. Women and men are just not the same.

It might be a baseline primal instinct and a lack of developing emotional intelligence, but males just do not empathise with the female experience unless they actively go out of their way to learn. Maybe there are the rare exceptions who have done the inner work (a la HVM), but generally speaking, women must be cautious with disclosing sensitive information to males.

I would encourage anyone reading this to listen to Princella's interview with an excellent male psychologist as they do a deep dive into what I have outlined here. I don't agree with all of Princella's views, but overall she has a great sense of male/female behaviours. It's long but can be listened to while doing other things, not necessary to physically watch the vid.

https://www.youtube.com/live/LP8mw-XH-fM?si=0So18XkHo0AP1HiY