What are your thoughts on marriage?

I believe marriage is beneficial to women when you’re going to be having children together or buying a house together. It gives you security. It makes him legally obligated to you. But if you don’t want either of those things, such as myself (of course I want a house but not with someone else) it’s not worth it IMO. Marriage is worth it when kids are involved because then you are protected when it comes to alimony if you were staying home.

Personally I never want to be legally tied to anyone. No one who gets married believes they’ll be getting divorced and yet look at the divorce rates. If anything happens, I want to be gone immediately, bam, no contact, he’s never seeing me again. Divorce is a long, expensive process.

I might have made the same comment before, but from what I understand after seeing in others' marriages and listening to them-

Marriage to an hvm = good

Marriage to an lvm = at best - bad, at worst - disaster(s)

In general, it doesn't seem like an attractive deal to me considering the abundance of hidden lv garbage. Marriage with kids just sounds like a bad idea unless you are just absolutely lucky.

As a self sufficient person, I won't have any issues living a solitary life. A loving partner will be appreciated, but I'm at that stage where no one can play with my insecurities to make me doubt myself on my self sufficiency atleast.

Depends on the person you're marrying and the law in your country.

In my country, there are two types of marriage: religious only and religious+civil. Most choose the latter because it's acknowledged by the country, with all the "rights, benefits and law protection" and a divorce is needed to end the marriage.

The religious one is only acknowledged by the religious institution and has no protection in law. Though, in the eyes of society, the couple is married. "Socially married" so to speak. The mother has full custody of the children by default. Both husband and wife can walk out of the relationship without having to divorce. Inheritance is slightly more tricky to claim, but not impossible. Alimony is non existent.

I've seen over and over again women being screwed up in type #2. We have no child support law, so the husband can divorce and leave his wife with the kids without having to financially support the kids. Alimony is messy stuff. SAHM is often royally screwed because she doesn't have the funds to take her husband to court to get a fair share of money for her and the kids.

My parents chose a religious only marriage. Dad was financially HV and the kind that believed that the wife should be in control of all the money. Any money he made went to my mom. Any assets he bought were paid in cash and under my mom's name only. He also supported her when she wanted to open a business, which is also under her name. If she were to leave him, he'd have nothing.

Even though my mom didn't have law on her side, the fact that she married the right man gave her a ton of protection.

It really depends on what kind of person you are and what are your goals. Some people are absolutely miserable in marriages, even if they are non-toxic and healthy, while others love having a close partner they can share a life with. I'm personally the latter, of course I'm very picky about who would that partner be potentionally.

If you're not buying a house together or having children, there's not much point in being married. Like the other comment here said, it gives you legal security in case the man tries to suddenly fuck around. Especially if there's kids involved, it simplifies the process if you do break up with your partner. It kind of also makes your relationship more official, atleast societally. Otherwise it's just a piece of paper that gives you legal security, not much else.

I have a complex view of it. Overall marriage was designed to benefit men & men’s institutions, not women. Its intent was to provide for the man’s offspring then pass property to them.  Society didn’t always force women to marry to survive. Even now as women are less dependent on men for survival the pressure is still strong and there are many who endeavor to return women to a state of dependency. Which is why I distrust the institution entirely and wholly recommend all women regard it with suspicion.

My own experience was twice married to 2 men who engaged in different types of abuse that they believed they had the right to inflict. Why because they “bought” me in their minds. Our society teaches them to regard us as their property and my husbands had no interest in setting aside that belief. Of course, they hid it until after getting married as if divorce isn’t easy to obtain.

Few men are worth the risk. Few men truly respect women as partners. Those few are the only ones that should ever get married. I will never expose myself to that risk again. What little property I have acquired is at risk if I marry again. I don't want the work of having a husband when the reruns suck. My children could wind up being robbed of all that I have if I marry again. Though my retirement options would be better if I married a man who has had a solid career for the past 30 years.

I still want to live in seperate homes, He's not moving in ever. What's mine is mine what's yours is yours and I only want to have a supporting role in marriage, I'm not going to sacrifice anything for him, his dream is his own responsibility, If he comes home tired from work I can bring some dinner but I'm not going to clean his house. If a man can't behave like a fully functional adult he can move in with his mother. I'm not letting him move in so that he can have enough money to go back and get his GED, he should have gotten his financial situation in order.

Men don't owe you anything when they leave, Men don't feel sorry for replacing you so don't build them on your expense, I haven't met a single ex or current wife who didn't regret building a man.

I’ve been married and I really don’t think I will be getting married again. The idea of sharing my space with a man upsets me, let alone all of our assets. Marriage makes sense if you want children, but I don’t. I’ve also heard of men changing after marriage/you move in with them and that freaks me out so I won’t be doing it again.

The fact you got downvoted is concerning. This is the brutal truth, at least most of it . I wouldn't say the ladies here are pickmeishas and I do believe there are some hvm, but at the end of the day, they're still men. And men are men. They can be cool one day and then be a completely different person the next.

They're too unpredictable and I personally don't want to take a gamble on marriage and willingly end up trapped with an abuser. The statistics don't lie. I have a higher chance of being neglected or abused in some way than having a happy healthy relationship.

It's sad giving up those dreams of having a fulfilling relationship. I still have a very small sliver of hope that I might meet a good guy, but I'm not counting on it. I'm going to put all of my focus into fostering a support system of strong willed women first.

If a good guy happens to come to me after that, that would be great. But i don't think I can ever let my guard completely down with a man that's not one of my family members (even then I side eye some of them)

I believe it can be a trap with the WRONG man.

There's already a number of past posts on this exact topic you can refer to.

Marriage is 100% bad for women. Don't let the Hetero Pickmeishas on here gaslight you with their HVM bullshit.

There are no HVM.

That's the brutal reality. And even if there were, the problem is that laws in virtually every country on Earth are pro-male, from divorce to burdening women with the primary care of children and/or relatives. Women lose emotionally, physically, and financially. The problem with FDS is that it promotes Candyland: relationships always work out with HVM, blah, blah, blah. But this is simply not the case. And then what? Women still end up with the kids and are thus dependent on dudebro paying alimony and/or child support. Most of the time, they don't.

Women should stop fucking men, stop having kids, and stop believing in Candyland. The economy is piss-poor and doesn't give a damn about them. Work, invest, and live life to the fullest. You only have one.

I never really wanted to get married until I met my current fiancé. I don't want kids but I want to be married to him. The others that wanted to marry me? Mmmm no.

If possible, I want to live my life like Carrie and Big like in Sex and the City where we’re living in an expensive house, married with no kids, wear designer, and spend our after hours eating and visiting fancy places…minus the decade on and off again relationship, and with cold feet during the wedding.