What are some red flags they are commonly overlooked?

Always the victim in all his stories. You know the type of guy who whines about how all his exes are crazy and how all his bosses/friends hate him? Stay away from him as it's a red flag. He's likely the common denominator .

Another red flag is guys who are big in conspiracy theories, especially if he believes in lizard people running the world. He is likely a paranoid narcissist who sees thinks that aren't there. He will probably eventually constantly falsely accuse you of cheating too.

It’s been discussed here before, but someone who emphasizes that they value experiences over things can be a red flag. Valuing experiencing over things is fine, but a lot of the time when men say this, they’re letting you know upfront that yore going to be shamed as materialistic for wanting anything nice.

Also someone who tells me they “live for today” is a red flag for me. I would ask them to clarify what they mean since it can have nuance, but if they’re saying they don’t worry about saving or retirement, etc., then it’s a definite pass.

Specific red flag: saying his ex stole money from him.

In reality it is: he spent money on her, they broke up for whatever reason, and she didn’t actually steal from the wallet…. He just said she stole because he hated that he spent money on a woman and it didn’t work out.

It happened to me!! He told me that about his ex and I felt bad for him. Who would do such a thing! And then….We broke up for unrelated reasons and he accused me of using him for his money!

I would argue that any kind of rude behaviour or bad manners early in the relationship is a red flag e.g. showing up late, flaking. The reason I say this is because most people are on their best behaviour when they're getting to know someone, so if that's what he's like on his best behaviour, you really don't want to hang around to see him at his worst. Also trust your instincts. Anything he says or does that gives you the "ick", even if you can't articulate why is a red flag too.

That he doesn’t celebrate holidays or birthdays (no Christmas, Easter, valentines day, and so on)

Another red flag, any man who uses the following phrases umprompted: "simp", "baby-trap" or "friend-zone". Only LVM use these terms IMO.

'Going with the flow' guy

'Emotionally available unavailable' guy

Lack of direction guy

Any use of the word rape in even a non-sexual context such as "rape of the land" or even the book title "Rape of the Lock." These will soon become attempts to talk "intellectually" about the "issue" of rape "hypotehtically." Then it turns into rape "jokes." Then videos or movies depicting it. Then hints at rape porn/fantasies. You know how this ends.

Inappropriate humor, even if it is just slightly inappropriate (racist, sexist, antisemitic under the guise of "it's just a joke". It was only "just a joke" when people didn't laugh immediately) or use of phrases or comparisons that make light of atrocities (e.g. saying to someone who is a stickler for something harmless "You are such a Nazi about this").

Same goes for have no sense of tact or sensitivity when it comes to different cultures and backgrounds in general. To stay with the "Nazi" example: asking a person of German or Polish descent about the Holocaust in a casual conversation, telling them about all the Germans their grandpa killed in the war or how cool Nazi tanks are or making Nazi/Hitler jokes around them. I know topics and jokes like this are treated a lot more lightly in the US than they are in Europe and I have been in several really uncomfortable situations with US-Americans who think this is an appropriate topic for smalltalk.

Makes comments and assumptions about random strangers ESPECIALLY FEMALE appearances on the street, bus, grocery store, baseball game concessions stand, etc.

Flakiness and/or not timely responding to communications can often be an early warning sign of a problem with drugs and alcohol. Blocking & deleting early and often will help keep us safe from addicts of all stripes.

Yelling is a huge red flag too

This might be considered a huge red flag, so my apologies if it is too obvious to fit your question, but: being even slightly rude to wait staff 🚩 He WILL treat you that way once he gets more comfortable around you.

Watch out for those Dungeons and Dragons dudes. If he's 38 and regularly plays D&D, chances are he's very immature in other areas of his life.

Calling his wrong doings a mistake instead of owning up to it.

I forgot unsolicited selfie, especially shirtless selfie, especially if he's not that cute.

Having outbursts when you ask him to do something. I got to the point where I was walking on eggshells and nervous to ask things of him.

Also, when you find female items in his car or place.