What are some pre fds lessons you would teach young girls?

• To ask yourself, "does this benefit me?" This applies to dating, work, friendships and life in general.

• How to recognize gaslighting, manipulation and PUA tactics so you can stand firm against them

• How to set and maintain boundaries

• Things we're "allowed" to say no to (ex. turn down the guy because you're not attracted to him, even though he realllllly likes you, telling off someone for being disrepectful etc, etc)

• Not to fawn and people please

Just because you are honest and mean everything you say, doesn't mean everyone else does.

Just because they act like they are the nicest person in the world, doesnt mean they are.

Being nice and treating others with respect will not guaruntee them doing the same in return.

Do not expect people to just have human decency because its the "right thing" and they should "just know". People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you don't value yourself they won't either. I don't make the rules.

Don't send nudes. Ever.

Not every person wants to rape young women, but many people do, and it's not up to you to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Assume every man who speaks to you may want to rape you.

You can choose to be polite (or not) to the man, but never forget every man who approaches you is a potential rapist, and you are his target.

This may be a dark way to portray reality, but it is reality.

Don't trust anyone you don't know 100%, there are people who seek to harm you.

If I knew this early on I'd be in such a better place now.

That she can always call me and I will always come and get her. No matter how far or late it is, if we have been fighting or not talking for a while or if she did something stupid (like sneak out or try alcohol/drugs or - later - move in with or marry a guy I don't like).

I never want her to be afraid to call me and stay in a bad and dangerous situation because of that. I'd rather have a safe, living daughter I can be slightly mad at the next day because she did something stupid and dangerous than risk her getting assaulted, driving drunk or ending up dead in a ditch somewhere.

This is what my parents told me and it saved me (and some of my friends) from some bad situations. Some of my friends were deadly afraid of calling their parents because they would get extremely mad or simply not come (a friend of mine was literally told by her dad "you got yourself into this and it's your problem how you'll get home now" at 16(!!) when she was stranded alone somewhere after her piece of shit boyfriend took off. The dad didn't like the boyfriend and thought this would be the perfect "I told you so"-moment to teach her a lesson...) and I will never understand that.

I've told my goddaughters the same. That even if they don't want to call their parents or can't reach them, I will always come and get them, no matter what.

You are in charge of who touches your body and how, even if they're in a position of authority or family

Consent - by asking things like "can I hug you?" "can I come in [to her room]?"

About their body in general, using real medical terms, talking about those things like they're any old mundane topic not weird or secret

That being loud, voicing needs and disagreement is not annoying/she doesn't need to accommodate others

Reward asking questions/curiosity and tenacity

Praising strength/what her body can do rather than how she looks

i would teach them about projecting and then i'd tell them not to project their feelings onto boys. i'd also teach them to be very selective about their empathy. that means no empathy for boys haha

“If he teases you then that means he’s got a crush on you”

I’ve had that said to me as a little girl.

I would teach girls that it is the opposite.

What do YOU want? Does this feel okay to YOU? Pay attention to that and not what boys or pickme friends are pushing you to do.

LOTS 0f great commentary here. Two additions...listen to and observe boys/men's ACTIONS instead of their WORDS. Are their actions in line with their words? If not....don't give them the time of day. And always remember that YOU'RE THE PRIZE.

Make getting a good education, a career, your own home and, preferably, several sources of income your priority. These are far more important than getting a boyfriend or husband.

• Money is your life raft.

• Only take the supporting role in a relationship, never be the one who makes the sacrifices.

• Don't build men on your expense ever, because men aren't obligated to stay so you are not obligated to give him a career.

• Build yourself and let men take care of his own.

• Avoid men who justify struggle love, don't talk to men who want to build with you because in reality he wants you to build him a castle so that he and another woman can live cosily.

• Don't forgive, stay angry because men seem to treat you a lot more careful when you are furious with them.

• Don't trust men with your reputation, health or future. Don't send men nudes even if he is your husband, because if they send it to your employer/parents you'll deal with the embarassment because nobody will take your side. Do not sleep with men until they are tested negative. Him telling you that he doesn't have aids or crabs is not the same as providing evidence. do not quit your job or education for a man because men are not going to give anything back to ever compensate 100% for that. Having him stay with you is not even a compensation because men are not and never will be the prize.

Don't JADE, just block, delete, ghost, or midnight move.

Learn to handle your money. Learn about money management and how debt works. Start saving early and save as much as you can - even if it's just birthday money or coins in a jar until you can start earning money yourself. Live frugally until you can genuinely afford not to. Learn to distinguish your wants from your needs. Learn to do things for yourself that you would normally pay other people to do for you (e.g., learn to do your own nails instead of going to a nail technician, learn to cook instead of getting takeout, learn to do your own makeup to a good standard). Once you've built up your savings and have a good emergency fund tucked away in a high interest savings account, learn about investing and having a diversified portfolio of investments.

It's good to have friends but choose them carefully and learn to enjoy your own company too so that you'll never need to spend time around low value people because you don't have anything or anyone else in your life. Spend your alone time doing nourishing, life-enhancing hobbies and activities and learning/developing new skills.

Edited: I've struggled with the wording of this one and have edited it about 4 times. The original (written at 6.30 this morning) made it sound like I was encouraging them to become a hermit and spend all their time alone!!!!! 😄

They need to understand that while their peers are children now, it's going to be THOSE boys who are giving them problems in a few years, and may be dangerous in high school.

You are more than your parts, more than the sum of your parts, and more than other people say.

Don't be afraid to fail and make mistakes. Men are like busses, when one leaves, another pulls up.

Even if you can't explain it, if it feels wrong, it's time to walk away.

You contain all things in potentially, so don't settle for a man who can't speak, think, dream, or love.

You are 100% fabulous and loveable