I live in the world the way that it is, not how it “should” be.
No, we don’t have to show interest. But you seem committed to that so do you, especially if it is working.
I find it freeing to just go about my day largely ignoring men. Besides men are highly observant and if he isn’t approaching there is always a reason. (Usually he is window shopping or isn’t in a place to provide.)
The idea that a woman has to “signal interest“ isn’t bad or wrong but based in the context of a woman doing rather than being. I know it might sound “antifeminist“ to just “sit pretty and be quiet” but it works when men are highly attracted to you. Most men just want to sleep with you though which is why I refuse to put energy into handkerchief dropping. Also, it looks desperate to attractive men who can see this a mile away.
Unknown member
Apr 07, 2023
Replying to
I don’t think you look desperate if you just smile at a man. That’s it. Just smile/give him a significant look and he’ll know.
I agree with the other users saying that man who will approach you without *you* showing some sort of interest first, is an absolute creep and I don’t want to have anything to do with him no matter who he is.
Then do it. 🤷🏽♀️ And also remember that very attractive men (which are rare) are accustomed to this behavior from lots of women.
FDS is about strategy so this prob WILL work for some women.
I’m employing a different strategy because I don’t want to talk to strange men. I want to meet men at networking events and through hobbies where I can be sociable but he will bear all of the risk of making something happen.
Also, my sister dated a very hot man for a few years so she and I got accustomed to witnessing how friendly women “appear“- from a big smile of interest (that turned to disappointment when they realized he wasn’t single) to throwing themselves at him. So my perspective is informed by this.
Unknown member
Apr 06, 2023
I don’t know who needs to hear this but as someone who gets “approached” constantly it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I had a whole relationship last year out of a cold approach (the handkerchief was dropped after he made his interest plenty known, all with masks on our face). He was still a no-good narcissist in the end. The mating rituals are a fun dance but always put your own interests ahead of anything else.
I'd love to hear some sensible answers because here's the harsh truth; the men who approach with no fear are usually assholes. The decent, kind ones don't want to bother a strange woman in public. Now, even saying that, I know I need to do better. I'm a Cap and an introvert so it'll be a cold day in hell before I smile at a stranger 😂
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Exist. If a man wants you, he'll make it known. If he doesn't make it known, he doesn't want you enough.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but as someone who gets “approached” constantly it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I had a whole relationship last year out of a cold approach (the handkerchief was dropped after he made his interest plenty known, all with masks on our face). He was still a no-good narcissist in the end. The mating rituals are a fun dance but always put your own interests ahead of anything else.
The FDS podcast episode on flirting strategies covers this. : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcy02JcQ-PY
Ask for a favour (can you pass me a napkin?)
Ask a question (have you tried the vanilla shake?)
Make eye contact. Smile.
Nothing too over the top.
I'd love to hear some sensible answers because here's the harsh truth; the men who approach with no fear are usually assholes. The decent, kind ones don't want to bother a strange woman in public. Now, even saying that, I know I need to do better. I'm a Cap and an introvert so it'll be a cold day in hell before I smile at a stranger 😂