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(Spanish is my first language so the translation is not 100% correct)
Here is the gist of why I have that question.
Let's call this guy P.
P and I have known each other through university, I liked him but never really showed it. Of course we talked, but mostly during random times.
After university, I got work in the city that he lives in. He asks me to "go out" with him, I say yes and we set a date, sushi at 1pm. That same day that was the date, I was going with my friends to this huge flea market, I knew I would end up tired so I sent him a message the day before if we could postpone it till 7pm. He said he couldn't because he had to take his mom to the dentist to get some extractions. Real or not, he said we could meet next Saturday. I told him yes, but that I had this event I already wanted to go to, and he said he would go with me.
Thing is ...I don't know if he wants to go as friends or a date...please bear with me. He has been a friend forever, he has this reputation of being really nice and having tons of friends, so I don't want my imagination to start with the delusions.
Next Saturday comes around, we are both late one hour, so we both arrive separate but at the same time. We look around the event (mostly handmade stuff, plants, second-hand clothes, it's a bazaar), he asks me if I've eaten because he hasn't and he thought we would go and eat. I told him that I haven't even had breakfast because I woke up super late. We go to his car, he opens up the door for me, he opens up the door to the sushi place, he pays for sushi, he pays for churros, he takes me to the plaza, he takes me home, he respects boundaries (bare minimum, I know)... I mean ... everything you "should do" on a date. Thing is...I don't know if it's a date. He never mentioned. We walk around, talk... The "not date" was 6 hours long, just us talking. We didn't even kiss. He did look like he wanted to though, but at the same time I don't trust my intuition.I told him about the day I postponed, that it was because I was at the flea market with my friends, and he said "you should've invited me, I like going to flea markets too." He did ask several times (3) during the "not date" if we could go out again, I said sure, but we didn't land on anything specific.
We are going on a group outing on Saturday, this will definitely not be a date. Is there anything I can do or look out for that shows interest vs non interest.
It may seem obvious to some of you, but I'm starting to date again after 6 years, (Also, I think I may be autistic, but hey that's just a thought) I'm looking for something serious, but that forms gradually and with time.
TL;DR: Went out with a friend. Wasn't a date for me, but he acted like he was on a date.
If I want to know something I ask. If I "scare him away", big baby LVM bullet dodged. Never be afraid to scare men away asking for clarity, the worst you can do is make an asshole go away.
This kind of casual "non official" date can be a way to build up to a proper date, and I don't think it's necessarily bad when it's just part of a natural progression and display of interest. You have to transition into the 1 on 1 time somehow, because I do think it would be a little weird for a year-long friend to just ask you on a date out of the blue (but maybe that's just me). But I would expect him to be clear on his intentions soon. Not just stay comfortable in this grey area so he can avoid rejection or act "surprised" when you mention that it starts to feel like a date to you. The first time my now-partner and I met, it wasn't an official date either, we just wanted to get to know each other and see how we vibe (it was a catching up thing as we had been in highschool together). But he did make his romantic interest known quickly and also started to use the word "date" explicitly.
Like what PlainSimpleTailor said, this was my experience too. If they want to 'friend-date" and they pay for everything that's fine. I had another "HVM" friend he does this with some women friends too, paying for their meals because it's courtesy, not necessarily a date. The bar is so low, his friend assumed it was a date (ugh 50/50 culture) But of course, these are men, and spending 6 hours seems like a lot for just knowing each other at university but not being best friends (or are you both good friends?) But don't assume anything, if he doesn't explicitly say it's a "date" then it's not, period, regardless of money spent. If you start assuming stuff, then it's easy for men to backfire on us because it's so grey. If you like his company and he pays then why not lol.