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Just had a friend on social media pop off at me for being a 'man-hater'. The man-hating in question happened when she posted a picture of a guy she'd hired as a babysitter playing with her daughters. I privately DMd her saying that if she needed someone to watch her kids, I'd be happy to do it as a favor next time (I live close by). She claimed that it was no trouble and she trusted the boy she'd found (apparently he's her husband's nephew) and I asked if he was gay or castrated cause I couldn't think of any other way he'd be a safe caretaker.
It was here she got lowkey pissy and asked me what exactly I was insinuating. To which I answered bluntly that it was really really dangerous to leave her daughters alone and unattended with a random male.
Then she typed out this whole block of text chewing me out for 'being so unnecesarily paranoid' and that her babysitter was 'literally just a teenager'. Then I showed her the statistics of how many teenage boys were porn watchers on average and pointed out that unless she knew for certain that this kid was purely same-sex attracted and/or grew up with zero access to the internet, there was a very good chance that he was among those whose adolescence was shaped by spending hundreds of hours jerking off to women (and possibly even underage girls) getting raped on camera.
Then she accused me of being a 'sicko' because the babysitter would 'NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HIS OWN COUSINS'. So I pointed out the popularity of the incest category on literally any major porn site.
It was at this point she blocked me🙄
Admittedly maybe I was being a little too blunt, but I really was worried about her daughters.
Men should not be babysitters (or nurses, or elementary school teachers, or coaches for female sports teams, and who knows what else I'm forgetting). There's no reason not to hire a female babysitter.
No one likes hearing that.
If I were to have kids I wouldn't let them be alone with a male who they weren't related to.
So I think you're right to warn her and everything. It's just an uncomfortable truth.
However, he is related to the kid he's babysitting. So in theory I'd be ok with it, but he'd be far down the list. I'd prefer to leave my children with another woman or if I do leave them with a male relative, he needs to be closely related. Her husband's nephew is too far away relation wise.
But I don't think you're a man hater. It's just factual
You were right. I would never trust a man to babysit my child.
Men should not be around kids (or women, really), but yeah, you can't say that and not have people be mad at you.
It's like saying grass isn't green, it just reflects green light waves.
You are TECHNICALLY correct.
Yikes, that's a tough one. I definitely think you were right about warning her and there is a legitimate cause for concern. I hope the children are safe and the male caretaker isn't a threat. We talk so much about how men need to be better caretakers and not leave all the parenting to women, but where does that start? In what situations can men sincerely be trusted to care for children or get experience in that regard? (Asking out of genuine curiosity.) If the sitter was a teenage member of the family, I would hope that the mother would know the family enough to trust him, but I've seen enough horror stories of pornsick men and pedophiles to know that you can never be too trusting. Maybe if he had younger siblings of his own that he helped take care of? My older brother did a lot of babysitting for me and I was (thankfully) never put in danger, but now we live in a different age where porn is in everyone's pockets.
No, you did the right thing. She is incredibly naive. I was 8 years old when my 15 yr old cousin repeatedly molested me, and even ate out my vagina on multiple occasions, as an 8 year old. Teenagers have their hormones out of control and will literally fuck anything. I mean, that doesn't mean every teenage boy will molest their cousins, but the risk is very high.
You did the right thing. I've never heard of a male babysitter in my entire life unless they're taking care of their younger brother. Nobody wants males to babysit except the stupid or the evil.
You were right to say something but I think it's a lost cause here.
Letting a male relative babysit on short notice in an emergency is one thing (not ideal, but understandable), but she had the choice to hire a woman or ask a female relative or friend instead and still chose a man. Even if the risk of him molesting her daughters is small, it is still bigger than if she chose a woman. It's peak pickmeism.
And let's not even start with him screwing up the task in a myriad of other ways unrelated to abuse or doing something bad on purpose. Even today most boys are not exactly socialized and raised to be natural babysitters or good at childcare, while girls are expected to help out with chores and watch their younger siblings from a very young age. I'm not saying it is right or fair to let boys off the hook, but if I have to choose who I let watch my kid, I am choosing the candidate who is more likely to have experience watching kids. And that's a woman in 99% of the cases. I also think there is an "instinct"-component to it. Girls and women are more alert around little children and are more likely to instinctively protect them, even if they never had any children of their own.
Just yesterday I was at a drug store and a little kid barely old enough to walk came in alone. Every girl and woman around was watching the kid within a split second and asking if someone had seen the parents, while the boys and men in the store didn't even notice it and just continued shopping. The mother came running after it a few seconds later, so everything was fine, but it was interesting to see the natural, first reaction of girls/women to an unattended child (which was "watch it") compared to the reaction of boys/men (which was either not even noticing or ignoring it).
About 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18
About 1 in 7 girls and 1 in 25 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18
https://www.d2l.org/child-sexual-abuse/prevalence/
I just heard on the news that a male nanny molested two children he was babysitting, asked them questions about their private parts. He did it to both boys and girls. And the predator was 19.
You don't love your kid if you leave them with a predator. Would you think a mama hen would be the right care giver if she allows a cat to babysit her chicks? A natural predator to birds?
Sorry but modern mothers are dumb. They leave their children behind with anyone just because they value a break a lot more than the survival of their children.
Men are predators, women, children are their main targets.
Big case in the news recently male nanny convicted of sexually assaulting 16 boys under his care ranging in age from 2 to 12 years old. And making pornography of them.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/male-nanny-sentenced-700-years-prison-sexually-assaulting-16-boys-cali-rcna125890
The male sex drive is literally 20x's higher than a womans. Teenage males are super horny, literally the horniest demographic of all males.
Sometimes you "need" to make people angry. It's not fun to experience; for me it's downright painful but I think it's impossible at times to escape betraying your conscience without making the rest of the world upset.