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good evening everyone, I wanted to post on here because I feel like the community is really honest and sees the reality about men and the objective is really to look out for each other and help us make smart decisions with relationships, and with our lives as women.
So now I’m going to begin talking about myself I am 26 years old and I’m from the USA but I also live in Paris but I work in the USA so I go back-and-forth, I met this guy from Paris and started talking with in june. He was 27 now he’s 28, algerian origin, long hair, I was KIND of attracted to him at first, I was mostly attracted to how he was talking to me. He seem to have a conversation and he seem to be nice usually I don’t do online things because I want to meet them as soon as possible, date, flowers and all that, but at the time I was going to be in New York for some time . I almost forgot to put in that he told me he had never had a relationship since high school and I hadn’t had a real date. I should have called it quits at this time. Honestly, that was just too many red flags
here I’m going to list some offenses that I really believe know that he was a narcissist or an extremely ODD individual
self depricating comments:
I remember him telling me that he had a really ugly and old car and that he doesn’t wanna beautiful girl like me to get inside because he’s embarrassed and I remember telling him that if he treats me like a princess, I don’t care about his car 🤦♀️ I should have cut it off after that because that wouldn’t be the last pick me up ass shit that he says..
he would say things like I have a belly I don’t like it he would say things like I’m not very muscular. I’m not very handsome. I’m not very funny. im not very rich I don’t have much to seduce you with its like a dream to talk to you
Around and on my birthday he kept on saying that he was sad that he couldn’t get me a present like I deserve, because like he was having financial problems or something and I told him listen when you have again, I know that you’re gonna get me some thing and then he would just be negative again talking about how I deserve a present and everything, like stfu?
seriously he said negative things about himself so often and I realize the last time I saw him he never took off his shirt in front of me and I made him take off his shirt
Blocked me before the first date:
So this part has never happened to me in my life at this point we have been talking for over a month and a half and I was going to be back in Paris by this time. He was already sending me money for uber’s for things I needed and stuff like that he was being really sweet you know all the things that I love from a man to do for me he knew that I was expecting a date with flowers, expecting him to plan the day, bring the flowers and everything so the date of the date he ended up miscalculating how long that it would be a.m. to drive from his house to my house and for us to get to the restaurant so we ended up having to choose another restaurant when I looked on Snapchat, I seen that he had blocked me everywhere. I messaged him asking him. Why did he block me and he told me that he’s so timid and that he didn’t have the courage to tell me he told me that he was sweating and he was red and basically panicking… I told him to literally just get in the car and drive to me, but he kept on saying that he couldn’t do it and then he was sweating so much so he ended up taking a shower driving to me I get in the car and I see that his face was red and he was still kind of sweaty. He brought the flowers. We ended up not going on a date because I was going back-and-forth with him to drive to me for so long. We just ended up getting food and talking.. we ended up having our first real date the day after.
odd joke 😶🌫️:
so basically, a.m. we were driving past an area that’s known for having prostitutes having sex in the forest and I told him somebody told me that there’s a lot of prostitutes in this area and he said yeah, my friend told me that there’s a lot of trans prostitutes then he’s like oh let’s take one, so you can be satisfied and me too
i was really shocked at this “” joke this is coming from a guy who wasn’t really funny didn’t send me any meme didn’t send me funny videos or anything like that and for me jokes about cheating or other people is an absolute no no but he caught me OFF gaurd with this one… he told me he was joking, and I ended up just “forgetting “ it.. I told many guys about this and they told me that he’s weird. Everybody told me that he’s either weird or gay for joking like this
ed?:
I remember when we were Sexting and all of a sudden he starts talking about if we are together for many years and we are older and his dick stops working that he will do anything to please me. He will use his fingers in his mouth and everything by the way, this was literally made Sexting like he brings this up in a serious tone just randomly like that like, how is that sexy? My friend told me that he was trying to like ease me into it. He also never said in my sexual messages that like he wanted to fuck me or that he was gonna fuck me so hard like now that I think of it I think that he was just so physically finished like testosterones wasn’t there he had some man Bubic he wasn’t fair he smoked and didn’t eat the best so I mean, how was he gonna fuck me hard if he doesn’t do cardio
The first time I try to give him head, he couldn’t stay hard and he told me like he had a stressful day or whatever so I was like OK but I still kept thinking about the time where he brought up his dick not working one day and I asked him if he had a problem and he told me no, the second time I did something with him. I went down on him and he came, but I wanted to go a second time and he couldn’t go so I didn’t really think that he had a problem because like I made him finish, you know?
for like three weeks I was in the USA and I was really hoping for like sexy messages for
sexy FaceTime and everything but what you know he ended up texting me one day saying that he will do anything to give me the best orgasms that I’ve had in my life even if he needs to use a dildo !😩 bro wants to use anything but HIS dick?
The third time we did something this time I was hoping that we can have sex. I went down and he had an orgasm and literally he stayed over for hours so it wasn’t even a discussion about re-charge. Because this man literally had ours to recharge and be able to go again, he couldn’t even keep an erection to have sex bro .. we just ended up cuddling
insensible: there was a few instances where I felt like he kind of gaslit my emotions, and like avoided or disregarded them, and in the final argument that we had, he gave me the silent treatment like a grown ass baby, he was working the whole weekend and let us have an argument that was leaving him at work to be upset because the night before he didn’t talk to me and fix it and make things better. He preferred to salt and continue to be angry or whatever and the last day I ended up blocking him because I wasn’t going to wait for him like all the silent treatment and not properly fixing and calling and seeing me to resolve this issue. It was really hard for me to leave him and block him. After I blocked him, I’m pretty sure that he thought that I made all impulsive decision and that I was going to regret it and come back but I absolutely killed that idea when we talked again a month later and I told him that I was embarrassed that I ever gave him a chance, and that he didn’t deserve it. I just wanted to kill whatever ego boost I gave him from even having the attention of me. But there are some times where I still get a little upset because the situation was so weird. thats why i wanted to post for opinions from other women what kind of LVM NVM this is? hes a real specimen
I also wanted to put that I think that he was love bombing me because of putting me on an extreme pedestal up until the very end he would say good morning princess give me lots of compliments lots of attention bring me flowers whenever he saw me, but you know I felt like overtime you know when narcissist or a toxic person can only put on a mask for like three months right so I feel like after a while the fake self was like going away and I felt more of like a insensitive energy from him
I'm going to say something that may be unpopular.
If he is Algerian and you are not Algerian/Middle Eastern, that's almost an automatic red flag right there.
I've dated Middle Eastern men from North Africa, and I am not Middle Eastern/North African. I can tell you hands down they were some of the worst people I have ever met in my life. Love-bombing, guilt-tripping, whining, manipulating, lying, and always, always, always focused on sex.
If you had continued to associate with him, most of his friends, acquaintances, and family would have treated you as some kind of unpaid prostitute. In the minds of most Middle Eastern men, any woman who is not a wife is automatically a whore.
I've also heard some of them will push marriage before you're ready, because they want Western citizenship (if you have citizenship in a Western country).
It doesn't matter what he is. Let's just call him an LVM.
Be glad he is no longer in your life.
I fled a narc/abuser years ago pre covid. They will utterly break you to your core. Butttt, there's kind of an overflow of people thinking everyone is a narc now...
Narcs are abusers, but not all abusers are Narcs.
And it doesn't really matter what type of abusive they are. People can get really hung up on "Trying to figure it out" and ruminating on it all for too long.
It's good to understand the red flags and get your deal breakers strong about Narcs and everyday abusers.
It kind of reminds when everyone thought they were autistic a few years back and that any man asshole they met must be autistic ...
It doesn't really matter what they are. It matters that they treated you like shit and that should be enough to get gone.
Narc, sociopath, or just a MALE.
It doesn't really matter. Don't ruminate on this filth. Read up on red flags, get your boundaries and standards SOLID (don't date until these are fully intact) and move on.
My ex was a violent narc. I have been with some unstable men before, but he topped it all. Once you have met an ACTUAL narc, you know. You'll leave utterly broken.
That said, there's many misogynists, violent assholes and sex addicts out there. The type of scrote about whom your friends tell you they never liked him after you break up. Everyone loved my ex and they were baffled at how evil he was behind closed doors. Only my parents knew early on. Wish I had listened to them.