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Thoughts on speed dating?

Speed dating seems less expensive than matchmakers but IMO it's still expensive given how you need to pay to chat to random male strangers. I've never been to one but I've heard of stories where women paid for speed dating events only to encounter unattractive LVM they have little in common with so they didn't match with anyone. I've yet to meet someone irl who met their SOs via speed dating.

20 answers0 replies

Comments (20)

MoreCatsForMePlease

Jan 02, 2024

Tried it . Huge waste of time , IMHO. I’m from a huge metropolitan area , but the men that showed up were the same guys on the apps ! I recognized many! The service that offers the events in my area has cut down drastically on the number they offer each month . Everyone realizes they suck. FWIW, I tried a few different speed dating events.

PinkSplash

Jan 02, 2024

Replying to

A lot of those men you’re talking about (from the apps) are probably the same ones who will try to match with you over and over again too. Hitting the “don’t show this person to me again” option doesn’t work, because they delete and re-create their account repeatedly. Before I deleted my dating apps, I finally set my profile so that only men I swiped right on could even see me. That kind of screws the algorithms up, I think, but it was really starting to make me uncomfortable that these same three men would not stop trying to match with me (although I’m sure they were doing it to plenty of other women too). I would have been extremely concerned if I’d come across one of them during a speed dating event. It’s the main reason I’ll never go.

fireforestfairy

Jan 02, 2024

Replying to

Yeah I assume some of the men at speed dating would be on OLD. They probably tried OLD before resorting to speed dating.

Unknown member

Jan 02, 2024

I attended two or three speed dating events in New York (Manhattan) pre-pandemic, and the selection of men was not desirable.

Edited

Unknown member

Jan 02, 2024

Replying to

The ones I attended made me feel demeaned. I was 30 at the time and attended events for 30-something professionals. One man I spoke to claimed he was 39, but he looked 60. A fat, balding, white-haired 60. I'm sure he lied about his age. Not every man at these events lied about his age, but I got the feeling many did.

I didn't think it was fair for me or the other women at all.

Edited

Galaktoboureko89🧿♉️🇬🇷🗽

Jan 02, 2024

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Replying to

What does that say about the women attending? For me it was a waste of time.

fireforestfairy

Jan 03, 2024

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I feel like the case is different for women. It seems easier for men to meet HVW than women to meet HVM.

Apple

Jan 03, 2024

One of my girlfriends went to a local bobba speed dating event thing. I didn’t go because it didn’t make sense to me. The thought of having to pay for my own drink and having to talk to men just threw me off and gave me the “ ick” since men usually offer to pay for my drinks on dates anyways; there’s no incentive for women to go these events if they have to pay just to get in. There are clubs in my city that let women in for free to attract men to come to their club.

So she went and it used to be relatively full with 2-3 tables. On the night that she went, there was barely enough people for one table. There were only two girls (her included) at the event while the rest were men. These men were older, unkept, and smelly. The other girl was on her phone the whole and didn’t bother to leave. I still don’t know why both girls should have just left once they saw the scene. Like they could have scoped the place, see what the guys looked like, and decide whether they wanted to stay or not.

Apple

Jan 03, 2024

Replying to

Omg yes!!!

fireforestfairy

Jan 04, 2024

Replying to

I assume those speed dating events were awkward where the only thing your friend had in common with those men were that they were all Asian. I have the feeling that many speed dating events are like this.

Apple

Jan 04, 2024

Replying to

Yeah, all of them were Asian on that day. They all liked bobba, so that was the other similarity.

She said that they all looked like otakus. They didn’t bother putting in any effort, and looked as though they rolled out of bed. The conversation were full as well since most of the boys were shy and nervous around girls in general.

db009

Jan 02, 2024

I'm going against the grain and had some positive speed dating experiences. I only attended events targeted to professionals and you had to be vetted before attending. It was made clear to us on the night that if anyone behaved inappropriately, they would be told to leave (also including the time after leaving the event).

It was run very professionally and respectfully. I didn't meet the love of my life, but met a few guys who I had a fun few months with. I met a few women there and we became friends afterwards, so it was a nice way to broaden my social circle.

The best way to approach it is its just an avenue to meet people. You will connect with some and not others, but the biggest benefit is its not a time suck in the way OLD is. You know instantly if there is rapport and chemistry and if there's not, you only lose a few minutes (per guy).