I have been reading the Gift of Fear and one story stands out to me. One of the women Gavin talks to says she'd never expect her husband to be violent... but then mentions his ex wife DIED to beatings by him. Like wtf,is she brain damaged? I had no idea my ex had had prior DV charges. I would have RUN before the first date had I known. But literal murder?
I get being naive but this is so insane. What's next, hire Epstein as a sitter because " people change"???
Abused women do actually suffer from neurological damage and rewiring of their brains and how their synapses fire. Parts of their brains also shrink and others swell. Not to mention the strength of trauma bonds. It all is a really sick web.
Editing to add: It is similar to Pavlov's dogs not leaving an open cage after they have been stressed or traumatized enough. Because of these reasons and so many more in relation to abuse, I think all abused women deserve grace. The issue is the MEN who cause these things, not the women who are their targets/victims.