The sorry tale of the ‘Cocklodger’

Reminds me of men who live in unfurnished apartments and need a girlfriend to help with interior design. They have no clue and don’t ask salespeople for help. Or HIRE someone. Cheap bastards willing to live like that. I cannot imagine. Oh well, the blank exterior reflects the blank interior.

Reminds me of men who live in unfurnished apartments and need a girlfriend to help with interior design. They have no clue and don’t ask salespeople for help. Or HIRE someone. Cheap bastards willing to live like that. I cannot imagine. Oh well, the blank exterior reflects the blank interior.

Omg YES. The number of MF’ng times I’ve been asked to help with some dude’s interior design because I have taste and the good sense to get on with it. SMDH

Fellow Brit here and oh my life I didn’t know beneficial rights were a thing. Thank you for sharing that knowledge here. That’s scary, isn’t it? I’m definitely looking for my equal *if* I ever seek a romantic partner again. In fact the guy before the last one made me swear off living with a romantic partner. Cockroach/cocklodger no more. I also need to work on my boundaries so sending you solidarity. If you have any tips I would be very happy to hear them.

Hi, I am very new to FDS but it's already made me feel stronger and safer. When my boundaries start to improve I will be so happy to share that progress with you... stay strong and hey, enjoy having your home to yourself without a man in it!

Everyone else should see if beneficial rights is a thing in their jurisdictions. Looks like in mine it only is if there is a trust first.

I finally lost the baby and had to scream for about six hours straight "get the fuck out of my house" over and over and over again until I lost my voice. His own friends wouldn't answer his calls so I had to call them. They answered me immediately. He screamed at me even more while his buddy was on the way to get him. Talking about what a pos his friend is. When his friend got there he switched his tune and was like "this is my best friend in the whole world." I told his buddy what he had been saying about him. His buddy knew, lol, because dude was an overt narcissist and did this shit to everyone. I shoved the door into his back as he was very slowly leaving and talking more shit to me.

He of course in classic abuser fashion insisted on leaving all of his shit at my house. I threw it all into the street and told his mother if he ever comes near me again he will be shot on sight. I barricaded my house and kept an eye out for him for a couple of months until he finally skipped town to dodge warrants for his arrest and abuse new women in another area.

I'll never hesitate to call the police again. I know a lot of abusers are cops, but just in case, I'll never hesitate again. Abusers want you to think the police won't help. Call em anyways, you might get lucky by getting actual help.

Wow. Six hours of screaming and calling for help? I am so sorry for your loss but he didn’t baby trap you at least. That’s a story for the ages.

Thank God! That's the silver lining. It could have been so much worse and I feel for single moms. And i learned a LOT. No bums. No former addicts. If he has double standards he will hit you. And never tell a man you are pregnant, unless you have been together a long time.

Everything was okayish until I hit that two month mark of the pregnancy. Its like he knew it was too late for me to back out and he started getting violent and he was also somehow the victim always. I almost joined the 41% statistic. And it all started with him asking me for money. So if any women find themselves pregnant too soon, my honest recommendation is to not tell him and abort. Or be a single mother by choice. Either way don't tell him and dump him. If you just have to tell him, try to reasonably lie to him that you are farther along in the pregnancy than you actually are, and watch his behavior. But the first recommendation is my go to because it just isn't safe being pregnant. Absolutely ridiculous we have an almost 50% chance of being murdered, and so many people don't even know about it.

I've only had one break in and I wasn't home thank God. The men who would drop their mask and get threatening with me were from my casual sex days. I've kicked out a handful of men from my home. They really think once they step foot into YOUR property they can do whatever they want to you, and the police won't believe you. That's where the gun comes into play. Luckily I have never had to brandish it, yet.

Most of them refused to leave at first. (Which is horrifying) So i look at them bug eyed and loudly say "SO YOU ARE REFUSING TO LEAVE?" With my phone out and 911 already dialed and my finger hovering over the call button, and that has worked so far. I still hate the fact that no man has ever *just left immediately*... It always ends up being a literal standoff. The standoff is always scary, but it is slightly less scary knowing i have a loaded gun right by me.

And no i do not have casual sex or meet tinder dudes anymore lol. This was many years ago. Now men have to pass my physical property vetting. (All of those men I previously kicked out were perfect gentlemen up until they entered my home)

First of all, I invite them to my yard. (For milkshakes lol)

Then after more time has passed they can see my living room.

Then after more time and vetting, maybe they can see my bedroom.

It sucks I have to treat them like a feral animal and slowly introduce them to my home, but they are the ones who made it this way. The last guy didn't make it past my yard. He got comfortable/cocky and let a bunch of red flags spew out of his mouth.

I'm tempted by a gun, but aren't you concerned you won't get to it in time or they'll turn it on you?

Yes and no. I keep it close enough that a swift kick or push them away with my long legs could buy me enough time. Its always within arms reach. But I do seriously worry about that first scenario. The only reason I'm not worried about them turning it on me is because you never ever ever point a gun at somebody and not shoot them. You have to shoot immediately, unless they turn their back away from you and run. (That's the only scenario where you need trigger control. Anything other than literally running away from you, is aggression and an immediate threat)

I got accidental training on trigger control during target practice, when somebody walked right infront of the barrel of my rifle *as I was pulling the trigger*. They did not get shot, but that was a close call and a very dumb move on their part. (Ah I see that woman is clearly aiming a gun, let me walk right between her gun and the target)