The aftermath of cheating and men who multidate

I understand. It’s difficult to unlearn all of these internal beliefs that we were taught. I am definitely not perfect and have my good days but also bad days where comments can REALLY get to me too.

If you really are doing all of that, then just be kind with yourself when you happen to fall back into old patterns or get hurt by some comment directed towards you. We’re only human.

My main suggestion in that situation would be, if you find yourself feeling offended by comments like that and feeling pressured to download dating apps again… Don’t immediately download the apps. FIRST, take some time to cool off and engage in a hobby or go out and do something fun... anything that really takes your mind off the situation and gives you joy.

Then once you’re feeling a bit better, then ask yourself, “Am I in a good place to let a man into my life? Do I really WANT to date right now? Or do I just feel pressured to be in a relationship?” Then decide what you want to do from there.

This is how you start to truly shift your priorities to decenter men and center yourself.

FACTS! Women shouldn’t be disheartened by cheating it’s for nothing to do with them and everything to do with MEN!

First of all my students just ask out of curiousity, not because they want me to feel bad. I am an adult in their lives and they just want to get to know me. It's my own depression which makes me feel like that.

I was thinking about Diana recently, and how Charles triangulated her with Camilla. By all means this is the same what happened to me; I am wildly loved, younger, more beautiful than the other woman, more educated, better family background. And he still cheats with.. thát.

But also, if my ex preferred a bog troll over me, then how should I even THINK of being picked over the dozens of hot babes that this new guy has in his inbox. Like there's no chance if I already lose a man to a troll who showers maybe once a week. Like, zero. I feel so depressed today, I'll never be good enough in the eye of a scrote, despite me being even more succesful, younger, etc than the scrote in question.

I asked another ex of mine, the guy I posted about earlier who kissed with me but wasn't ready, if he thought that I wasn't enough, and he says no, but I am not ready. So either a man thinks I am not good enough or he isn't available, just my luck.

I have my life together but I feel so sad as everyone around me is having babies and getting engaged and I can't even keep a scrote.

The scrote I matched was a CEO with an MBA from Yale. I am gifted, like, IQ 130ish. I know I am smart. It felt off the bat that said scrote was trying to make me feel inferior, by saying shit like he has an iq of 170 (suuuure) and the other women, the stalling the date, like he wants me to grovel for the great catch that's him. Thank God for FDS and me seeing it for what it is.

Would you be open to try a recurring past-time in a group? Like a language course or a small sports club? Are there gatherings in the city like food festivals where you could go with a friend?

I do that already, but I mostly meet women who don't have eligible brothers/friends.

I think you are on a good way irl. Now it‘s just a numbers game. Just don‘t get beat down to lower your standards and continue going out. Meanwhile you could work on establishing a good life in which a man is an addition that brings joy and not a source of agony that overshadows your life.

I haven't heard of her yet, will do! And indeed, a scrote who is into you will drop everyone to be with you.

Yes. Also I really like YV_Edit , BurbnBougie , Mel Hamlett, and Shar Henley. They are very FDS friendly

YV edit is awesome.

So true. He was always trying to bring me down.

If only I would meet single guys irl who weren't total losers. OLD seems to be the only way to meet educated men after graduating university.

The guys you are meeting on apps from what you are describing are complete and total losers... they are just losers and players with degrees.

An educated asshole is still an asshole.

I have a friend with similar woes--had only ever found guys she's physically attracted to online--but any guy who is worth your time is not going to be online. They don't need to be. They have no problem meeting people on their own because decent men are so rare.

These guys online may be nice to look at, financially astute, and well-educated, but that doesn't mean they have good intentions. From what I've observed, online dating seems to work for predatory people and that's why it was invented. It's a shortcut for men to access women like anything you can order on Amazon.

I wish they did bc I hate dating. I hate competing,I hate investing that leads to nothing. It feels like having a job interview where I'm never chosen, just having to waste interview after interview. And the interviewer gets to sift to all these unicorns.

I really wish I didn't crave romance, family, a soulmate. I wish I could somehow drown out those feelings and only focus on my job.

But you keep pain shopping for shit heads on apps... you keep going back and back and back into more interviews with these assholes and come out with nothing but sadness. Fuck em, close the apps. It's not working for you right now.

Listen, one of the biggest reasons I got off there is because I learned that men on apps think that any woman on an app must be fucked up completely, a loser, is totally desperate, and must not understand her value...

I heard this from multiple guys' mouths and even heard it from one of my closer to high value men that I met on there while I was on there. He literally could NOT believe I would be on an app. I came back to the states and that's just what people were doing here, so I did it too. But once I saw how men view my being on there I straight stopped and never got on again. I will never forget that guy's face when I walked in to meet him at a Cafe and he realized I was his date... utter confusion... he looked around thinking I MUST be there for somebody else... then he perked up right away after looking around and realizing I was there for him. And I'll tell you... this guy was actually a damn cutie with his life together. He had a gorgous house - color coordinated, was a great cook, dressed great, smelled great, healthy, hot, nice friends.... and he still couldn't believe that someone like me was on an app to meet up with him or men like him. That confused look in the cafe is burned into my brain. It made me realize, if I am really HV and want to present myself as such to the male scum species, then they will not be seeing me on apps.

It's not fair, but they don't view it like we do. Since they believe we can always get anyone we want, they think women on there must be fucking stupid or desperate somehow. It's just how they look at it. So, I'm just telling you, the guys on there will NOT be taking you seriously, ever. It's a complete and total waste of your time and a total net loss. They don't believe women of value are on there. That's why the guys on there aren't treating you like you have any type of value and that's why none of them are ever going to.

So, take control of your life and stop letting these weirdos steer you in fucked up directions. Woman the wheel and get out of there. It is a sunk cost for you, your sanity, and your time.

I'm hitting the dating scene again, sans apps. They are gonna have to meet me while I'm picking out bell peppers at the grocery store or while I'm going about my regularly scheduled day. HV women do not seek and search for men. It screams of desperation to them and men have a really good sense for that shit. From there they are either going to toy with you or lie to you to get laid and that is about it. Thats the most you will get out of apps.

We don't chase, we don't seek. We are powerful and valuable enough in our own right to attract the right type of men in person, and that's the truth that this society and dating app scandal (ran by men for men and all owned by the SAME men) don't want you to realize. Break those damn chains, realize your power, and get out of there. ❤️

It's a spiritual warfare- demons attack those who have the light and who are connected to God. They are spiritually dead inside. I see a lot of fake narc women (AKA Bagless Upright) who keep exposing themselves on here by getting upset or bully my posts any time I mention narcs because only hit dogs holler.

Narcs seek women and people with weak boundaries. Even better if you appear to be higher in social status, wealth, or beauty, but that doesn't always matter. If you have questionable or malleable boundaries, they do everything they can to continue to erode them.

But it is really a lack of or weak boundaries that make them zero in on someone. They are sizing people up for weak spots the second they lay eyes on them. That's why strong boundaries are sooo important and you have to be willing to walk away when they are crossed. Not fight, not plead, not bargain... walk away. If you try to argue with them, the game continues to erode erode erode any boundaries you did have and eventually you will have none if you stick around.

Boundaries are your absolute deal breakers and every woman should have a very, very long list of them.

So they don't think I am below them, but in fact choose me bc it's more fun for them to ruin a perdon of status? Damn. It helps realizing that.