The aftermath of cheating and men who multidate

I know I post a lot, because I am waiting for my appointment with a psychologist next week. I need to vent so I apologise for hogging the forums.

My ex, like I already posted here and there, cheated. It ended a violent relationship where I paid off his debt, brought him to appointments, cleaned his place and even took him in when he lost his appartment. We lived together in the last two years of our relationship, after having found a new place, and one day he just kicked me out. He had not put me on the rental agreement but I did pay him money. Had to live with my parents for half a year after that. Turns out, he was cheating on me with his ex.

After a few months I started dating again and all the scrotes were talking to multiple women. So far so good. Except all of my dates told me that they wanted to go on other dates even while we were having dinner. The last one even cried when I told him I find that rude.

Now I have a match but the guy is stalling meeting due to "health". I find that unbelievable. He also said he has other matches but no dates planned. IMHO he just keeps me as a backup. Now he wants me to wait for two more weeks to get a coffee? He even says he'll let me know if he dates others and will cancel me. Or them if we click. I told him I do not audition. But now, people tell me I am too harsh. Am I?

I am 35, highly educated, pretty face, lovely curves, good job, good circle of friends, financial stability, no kids, lots of freedom. But I also know I can't compete with a twentysomething model. All women I have seen on the apps are gorgeous, way better looking than I am at times. There's no way a scrote will " pick" me. And I refuse to be put in a scenario where I feel like a pickme. Where I compete against other women, knowing that in the end all I have to offer will not be valued, and I'll be used for my body, money, and free labor then discarded. I am tired of dating. I am tired of competing.

My ex cheated on me with an older, massively obese woman, with bad hygiene and a terrible personality. Not even a hot young influencer. So like, there's nothing I can do to stop them discarding me and picking others. I refuse to be a pickmeisha. Any thoughts?