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As an opposite to the post I made last month about icks men have given you (You guys truly delivered🤢), I wanna ask you about moments where a man made your heart flutter with what he did or said. The term used online is reverse ick but idk if I like that, do you guys have a different name for it? Let me know! This is just for fun and because I wanna be reminded that attractive men still exist.
(The man doesnt have to be clear cut HV, it can be a stranger or anyone really)
I remembered one where we were on a ski trip with our school years ago and I was TERRIBLE at it. We were doing an activity and I kept falling down over and over again until I just couldnt get up. This classmate from my group was so patient with me when I got frustrated ( I literally said I will just lay here and let someone run me over with their skis lol). He was saying you got this and supported me whenever I lost balance. He even cheered me on when I got it right and just generally was so sweet. He had no reason to be, he wasnt like a supervisor or anything but decided to help me just because. We were so young back then and I still think about it.
Your turn!
My current boyfriend has given me a lot of those heart fluttering moments 😊 one that stands out to me though is when my laptop charger broke and I texted him panicking. On his own, he dropped everything and found me a replacement laptop and charger so I could continue my school work (we're both grad students in a grueling program). When he gave it to me, he told me that what is his is mine and he's shown me multiple times that he sincerely means it 😊 The other big heart fluttering moment I can think of is my boyfriend's support and actions throughout the entire time I've been grieving the loss of my father. My boyfriend had his board exams within the month but he still traveled with me across the country to attend the funeral and be with my mother and I during this time (we've been dating about 9 months and live in another state so this was the first time he met my mom). He was so gentle and kind to her and did everything he could to ease her burden and pain (as well as mine) and it just melted my heart 😊 I'm sorry for the long post 😅 I've just seen a lot of green flags and they make me happy 😊
My dad never let me step foot in the kitchen. Not even to make a cup of noodles lol. He would run from the other side of the room just to help me. It always made me laugh lol. The look on his face was always pure panic too lmao. The reason my dad hated seeing me in the kitchen..was because when he was a kid his oldest sister would slave away in the kitchen making food for all 10 siblings + parents. My aunt never got to be a child and my dad never wanted that to happen to me.
In elementary school, I use to get bullied a lot. I remember one time my mom was so worried about me that she convinced my neighbor's son (Mark) to pretend to be my brother lol. That day when we go to school Mark asked me, "I just wanna know....which of these foos is bothering you?" I had no shame in pointing the little bully out lol. My neighbor went up to him and said, "I heard you're bothering my lil sister. Do that shit again and I'll beat your ass." My bully was shaking and I loved every minute of it💀. The way my neighbor responded set me up for life🤣. I only want men that defend my honor no Ifs or buts.
In college, I worked in a retail store and there was a regular that all the cashiers had a crush on. He looked like Sawyer from the show Lost and on top of that, he had a southern accent too. I thought he was attractive but I was still a baby and I wasn't checking out guys like that. He would come into the store and charm up the place with his, "Hi sweetie" talk lol. Like I said I wasn't really into him....+ he was married.... but I'll tell you what really did it for me. One day I was ringing up a lady who was buying 4 lawn chairs and a big ass cooler. The lady was talking to someone on the phone about how stressed out she was (planning a trip). Before she could even pick up the cooler.....the Sawyer look-alike...saw her in distress...and picked up the cooler with one hand 👀....and put it on the register for her. The lady and I were just looking at each other like: "Are you seeing this shit that man is fine!"
Then Sawyer look-alike told her, "Sweetie, dont worry about carrying all these things. I'll put it in the car for you." He carried the cooler and the 4 lawn chairs with ease lol..... you guys that was my sexual awakening 🤣😭. Every time that man came in to the store I would get soooo red in the face.
For me, whenever a man has actually treated me like a human being. Or given me a non-creepy compliment based on something other than my appearance. When a man actually listens to what I say (instead of doing that glazed over smile and nod thing) and then actually remembers the intricate details later. But these are all basic and low-bar things. Somehow only a small percentage of men are capable of doing things that nearly all women do for their friends without even thinking about it. I love the concept of this post though! It's so easy to get bogged down by LVMs, it's nice to actually remember that green flags do actually exist out there and we shouldn't settle for less.
When I was 15 I did an activity where we had a mixed sex away trip. My mum was a bit worried about me but a lad from our group who was 19 said he’d look out for me. On the trip we were never put together because we were different sex’s and ages but at least twice a day he’d find me and check that I was ok. He didn’t just ask but he’d separate me from whoever I was with so I could have said if I wasn’t. He was just sweet and gentlemanly.
My sweetie is highly allergic to cats, and I have two awesome feline fur-kids. He's been going in for weekly allergy shots for over two years so we can eventually live together. He also looks after my kitties when I need to go take care of my aging parents.
I agree with above commenters that consistency is key! I'm not impressed by occasional HV behavior, but I'm happy I'm with a man who consistently shows me he loves me and wants to add value to my life.
Examples of HV behavior from my bf:
- He listens and remembers things. ex. He asked me about my upcoming family event that I had forgotten about.
- He always prioritizes my sexual pleasure. I have a higher drive than him, and he wants to make me happy. Most of the time, we have sex where he doesn't come. I would get roasted if I posted this outside FDS, but generally people are accepting of relationships where the man orgasms every time and the woman rarely. Never settle for a man who's selfish in bed!
- He always makes time for me. His job requires long drives and long hours, including weekends, but he calls me every night and drives to see me at least once a week.
- If I have a strong opinion on how something should be done, but he doesn't, he'll do it my way. We avoid the relationship problems of the popular article "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink" because my bf respects my opinions even if he doesn't always agree with them. Ex. After going inside the house, I immediately change into "indoor clothes." I don't like "outdoor clothes" inside. My bf thinks this is silly, but when he visits me, he changes into "indoor clothes" because he knows my preference. (In the article, the wife was adamant about having dishes put away whereas the husband didn't think it was a big deal. Even though he knew the dishes by the sink bothered his wife, the author continued to leave them there. His actions showed a lack of respect. He needed to assert that he was right and she was wrong, and that he wasn't going to change even though he knew it hurt her and changing would take minimal effort.)
Is it bad that I don’t want to answer this just because this thread could be used as a playbook for opportunistic manipulators?
I’d personally keep this conversation with women you know in person.
Honestly at this point, common decency makes my heart flutter. We've got to get back to basics with these scrotes.
I think it’s good to keep this post because it’s positive. Men are also too stupid to fake it for long - creeps are always pushing for sex. Anyway, things that make me warm to a guy are the same as others have said - remembering what I said which means basic listening skills and implies he’s not talking to too many people. No sexual touching. Men don’t realise that you can build attraction by touching my arm, hand, shoulder etc. So many women have been abused, that if a man does sexual touching, I get triggered and immediately feel alarm bells ringing in my head. Paying for stuff but not making a big deal out of it. I’ve dated cheap men with good jobs and one recently got bitchy on the first date by saying women use men for free meals. I sat there and thought “coming from the guy who wants to use me for sex?” Whereas I have a friend on minimum wage who doesn’t expect to be paid back and has told me to keep my money. I like a man to step up and take care of me. If he spends quality time with me too, then I’m bound to get attached.
When he helps an older lady with something she's struggling with or her groceries when out and about. No one noticed or asked, but he did and ran to help without hesitation. Best moment of attraction a few have given me that I treasure.
When he treats all people with kindness, equality and grace 😍