Starting to live life in your late 20’s?

Queen, I am so happy you made it this far in life. It takes incredible self love to choose to get help. I lived in a similar situation. I don't think I started living my life until I turned 24. I broke the cycle of abuse in my life and finally started to chose myself. It is uncomfortable. Choosing yourself is a new feeling, so yeah it is going to feel weird. But please don't look back at your teens and early 20's as time lost, but time spent surviving. What you might see as a waste of time is now a series of valuable lessons learned about toxic people and toxic situations. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this either

Me too girl! Lol.

I'm also 28, and my life started to truly pick up last year. I grew up with an abusive mom with pickme tendencies, was battling depression since I was 13 and yeah it also led to choosing bad friendships - had mostly male friends during my youth 🤢 and of course it turned out none of them were really my friends. At university I studied a subject that I realized was not for me but I got pressed into it by my parents and it made me depressed when it came to my future prospects. Got into a really toxic relationship with the covert narcissist and finally had a breakdown when I was 24.

Thankfully I found a good therapist and slowly started to process my life, learning how to truly become independent (not just in a materially but mentally). Got courage to finally break off my relationship but also courage to restart my education and go for a career change and for a new job. These things take time though, years of processing and working with therapist and not giving up. I am now in a much happier and relaxed place in life.

The "different dimension" you are talking about - I experienced the same thing! And honestly I love it because the previous "dimension" I was in was not a dimension for me 😆. Interestingly enough, good friendships persisted even in this new dimension, while the bad ones stayed in the old dimension, lol.

I believe it is never too late, as long if you are taking small steps to clear up toxicity out of your life.

I also come from a dysfunctional background and I think it's very normal to bloom in your late twenties if you come from a dysfunctional family.

Late twenties is usually the point in your life where you start to have a considerable amount of savings or a job that pays well, which makes it easier to break away from a toxic family because toxic parents usually only have power over you because they are the only ones who have money.

It's also a point in your life where you've lived so many experiences that you have enough data to see patterns and rely on your own judgment over the judgment of toxic parents who might be telling you things like "just listen to me, you're too young to understand" or toxic friends who might be talking to you like you're stupid or making you feel like their way is the only right way somehow and being you is not okay. Even if you don't yet have money to leave home, just having that discernment is a huge asset to personal development.

When you feel inadequate, remember that the only reason why other people get to bloom earlier is because they didn't have to deal with the obstacles that you've been through. And some of them might make you feel bad by saying that they "achieved it all on their own" or they might downplay what you've been through, but at the end of the day it's just their opinion, and it's good that they shared that opinion because now you know the type of judgmental people they are and you know that you should avoid them.

Not everyone is that judgy. Some people will notice that you're doing certain things later than most people, but they'll be polite about it and they won't treat you like an alien because they have empathy and they know that they wouldn't want to be treated that way either. These are the people you should keep close to you.

If you've been through heavy dysfunction you have a lower chance of meeting people who resemble you. But that doesn't mean you won't meet them. It's good that you're already making an effort right now to connect with people who resemble you through this site, but I think it would be even more rewarding for you to go to spaces in real life where you can meet people with a similar life story as yours, like support groups for example (you're saying that things are looking up for you, you don't need a lot of support so you might think it's a waste of time, but it's not a waste of time if you find a support group with participants who hang out together after the support sessions, that can be a very very efficient way to make friends, I've seen it).

It's important to surround yourself with people that truly get you because that will keep you from feeling inadequate and all that energy that would go into worrying and feeling inadequate will go into doing other things that you actually want to be doing.

Late twenties and currently getting my shit together, checking in!

I started putting puzzle pieces together around 26yo, figuring out what I wanted, then taking steps to make it happen. I'm sure it has a lot to do with our brains finishing up their growth lol. Forgive your past self, you had a baby brain and you were still maturing! I think young 20's enjoying their lives is more about exploration and trying things. Now you can get the big guns out for hitting goals in your late twenties and thirties.

You sound exactly like me. Exactly. Like I’m 28 rn and I just now started to feel at peace. It’s interesting to know that a lot of other people from dysfunctional families feel the same way.