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Some men never let go. They will continue to contact you and harass you relentlessly. I have several of these parasites who I have been ignoring and blocking for years.
One of these is an ex I dated more than ten years ago. He was unstable when I broke up with him (following me) and has tried to reach out many times over the the years despite me making it clear I wish to be left alone. We work at the same large institution (he never left, I returned recently to take a senior role). It's a massive place (thousands of employees), we are physically nowhere near each other and my job requires me to have no interaction with him. I hadn't heard from him in a long time and figured I could take this role without any friction and move forward with my life.
He has different ideas.
The latest bs: he's just showed up on the enrolment list for a professional development course I'm in that starts in the new year. It will entail months of work in a small group setting so I will have to interact with him closely. This is a person who has zero interest in this topic, but he decided to join now that I did? Please.
This dude is probably accessing my freaking email. This is not the first coincidence.
He's in IT. My suspicion is that he's digitally snooping on me. It's a suspicion that will make me sound paranoid and crazy if I report it to HR.
I'm planning to cancel my enrolment in the course at the last minute. I'll cite my workload as the reason and re-enroll later. Any other suggestions for how to get rid of this creep?
Like many psychos, he's extremely intelligent and is going about this in a way that is difficult to prove, even when the "coincidences" are documented.
Hi, as someone who's been digitally snooped on, by an ex, your suspicion is valid and he is definitely, not probably, definitely accessing your email. I know how, because mine was constantly being accessed by said ex, after I dumped him. Please, report it to HR. Idk what else advice to offer you, but other than this, keep changing your passwords, all passwords, every month. It's not stretching it too far, it is required, because these IT scrotes can and will go to any length to disrupt your personal and professional life.
Oh no, tech guys are the worst stalkers. Some can access any computer remotely and get into anything you are logged into or have the password saved for. It’s especially easy if he has admin access and all the work computers are linked on a network. You could ask an IT person to disconnect your computer from the work network, but it means you can’t transfer files or use shared printers. You could also express concern to IT that you’re computer has been hacked and ask them to do a security check.
Be aware that facebook and messenger are very easy to hack. You may want to become very boring on Facebook and try not to use messenger until he loses interest. You probably don’t want to know what he’s doing with photos of you. Definitely stop sharing places you are going, where and when you’ll be somewhere, if you’re planning a vacation, etc. Change your passwords weekly.
If you ever get an opportunity to transfer to another office, I’d go for it.
Whatever you do, don’t let him know that you’re aware until you absolutely have to. Line up your ducks, collect evidence and let him hang himself by his own petard. Consider a personal keychain alarm or something else to also carry on your person. This intensity of focus on you doesn’t bode well.