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I have been seeing this guy, but I can't shake of this feeling. After our second date (according to me), I asked him where he felt the relationship was going and he didn't know. I asked if he thought we were on date and he said no, and that he was just tying to get to know me, so I thought he was a "slow burner" which I was more than okay with. However, when we met a third time, he called our second outing a date. I called him out on it, and he said he changed his mind.
I have had guys pull similar tricks on me in the past and it's confusing. At this point, what constitutes as a date and hanging out without me having to verbally identify what it is to the person of interest. In other words, what are the signs that a person is going on a date without having to verbally acknowledge that it's a date?
In my head, I thought that it's when two people who mutually like each other spend time together romantically. Is there a difference between hanging out and dating? I am so confused.
UPDATE: I have decided to stop seeing him and sent him a final message to end things. I came back from our third date confused. It's probably for the best I end it early on to avoid being hurt.
Thanks for explaining everything!
I love you 👑s!
They are intentionally confusing to keep you off kilter. "Situationships" are scrote nonsense and if you aren't getting what you want, move on. If he's keeping things casual, you're probably not the only one he's seeing and not priority. Treat yourself like top priority and dump his ass.
He isn't the one for you, Sis. A huge red flag is when you feel ANY confusion.
You need to read the handbook. It’s a second date, why are you asking him where this is going? You are chasing. We don’t chase, we don’t ask, we observe.
The best sign is if he actually says the word "date" out loud. You sound young and you're very observant. You're correct: If a guy says the words "hang out," he's probably lazy and immature. Noticing speech patterns and men's word choices is a great vetting strategy, btw. Keep up the good work.
The difference between a hangout and a date is the romantic intent. You hang out with your friends, not with someone you want to make your partner. When he said he did not see your get-together as a date - that is when you opt out. He "changed his mind", but he actually didn't, he just says so so that he can get into your pants more quickly. I would recommend to get rid of him
If he's hot and cold that's a no-no. Is that what you want in a relationship?
Block and delete.
No, no, no. Just don't entertain this ish. Total nonsense.
Next time he asks you out say that you have a date and cannot make it. Next. He's trying to downgrade your confidence so you'll waste your time on him.
He changed his mind… what a stupid reason. There's only two possible interpretations here: he thinks he is the one who sets the pace and therefore thinks he is the prize – a painful misunderstanding of how heterosexual dating is supposed to be. Or he thought he would play it safe by just “hanging out” but then realized you might have some romantic interest so he changed his story. In any case, this puts you in a bad position. One where you have to wonder what his deal is and what he actually wants. He should be forward with this information, you shouldn't have to pry and prod. Also, it seems like he doesn't really know what he wants yet… which means you're not his “dream girl”. Do you want to be someone's second choice? I hope not. Dial it back with him and tell him you've changed your mind too. Lol.
Well there is no "relationship" yet on a first date, this is your opportunity to see how you feel about him... where you think it might go.. ask yourself these questions first... I wouldn't get so hung up on the language of dating, or hanging out but focus more on how this man is making you feel around him... his body language; the tone of his voice when he replies; is he defensive or is he friendly and relaxed, importantly are you relaxed around him?