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With the world becoming increasingly crazier and crazier, I am feeling increasingly more and more unsafe. I never go out anymore because every time I do some scrote makes me feels unsafe.
Just in the past week, I had one male approach me and ask me out in the first 5 minutes of talking to me, when I declined, he got volatile and angry and called me a racist. He was Arab. I'm Puerto Rican. Which doesn't matter but to him,
Racism is the only reason why someone would reject him.
Then two days ago, I decided to go to my local beach (I live next to a lot of beaches) because this Doors cover band was playing that I really like. Right away as soon as I get there some scrote starts talking to me. It was fine at first. But then he starts telling me how he doesn't like the way I speak? That I'm coming off as too direct, blunt and harsh. Then I said, "Everybody says that, and idk why because to me, I'm just talking normal." Then he goes, "well if everyone is saying that, then the problem is you." Then I said, "Funny how the way I speak is only problem because I have a vagina. But I bet if I was a man, and had a penis, there wouldn't be a problem with me being blunt and direct." Then he laughs it off.
Uuuumm K. Here we go. I just wanted to go out to watch a band I liked and in the first 5 minutes I'm being insulted by some scrote for just being myself.
But then it starts to rain, and the only place with a roof cover was where he was sitting. So I jumped under the cover to not get drenched. Well, apparently in his scrote brain that meant I was trying to get close to HIM, so he immediately grabs my waist and pulls me towards him. Gross!! I pulled away and said, "Dude! I'm just trying to get out of the rain!" And he says, "let me give you a ride to your car." No thank you!
So my night was fucking ruined when I just wanted to see a band. I was there all of 20 miny before I had to run away from this guy who thought I was trying to fuck him.
And this was after he told me he had drunk a 12 pack of beer plus hadn't taken a shower in a week. And his greasy hair proved it.
I am so SO so so so so sooooooo tired of not being able to enjoy life or even leave my home, without being unsafe all the God damned time.
If a scrote told me that he didn't like the way I spoke, I would find it tempting to say "I don't like the fact that you speak at all."
Whenever a man tells me I sound mean or blunt, I look them dead in the eye and respond with “Yeah, I know I’m an asshole.” They usually leave me alone because it’s not the response they expect and stops their attempt to neg.
Don't want to generalise, because #nOtAlLmEn... 🥴 but... in my exeprience I have learnt that there are a few cultures that encourage particularly bad chauvanism and misgony. I briefly 'dated' an Arab guy once, and he seemed like a real prince, was refined, but he def had deep seated mysoginy and control issues! They think they are Kings and you are their possession. Stay safe out there.
Is the area where you live particularly bad? I recently moved and I don't go out too much here. It's not horrendous, but bad enough that I rarely leave the house at night. I wasn't quite as wary at my old place, only a few suburbs over.
The power of silence is a wonderful thing, When you feel like that person is a scrote ignore them. Don't answer men ever. When I'm somewhere and I hear a " Excuse me miss" I look at them without smiling and wait until they say something, If I don't like the question or not in the mood for small talk I ignore. When I'm alone in Public and the street is semi empty or nobody is there I tell the dude right away to leave me alone keeping my hand on my pepper spray.
There is nothing wrong or rude about ignoring strangers, you were told as a kid not to talk to strangers so I don't see why you can't do the same as an adult. Asking the way or time is the only request I tolerate in a busy city in clear day light. At night im dismissive and to men who complain about vigilant behavior among women.. well it's your fault because a woman is touched against her wishes by you then they get all the blame so they have a good reason to stay away from you.
Living in this state of hyper vigilance is exhausting. This type of stress long-term can prematurely shrink your brain and cause memory loss. I’m really trying to think of some strategies to improve my circumstances as it relates to managing this stress.
For starters I would really like to move out of this major metropolis I live in where crime against women is at an all time high. I wish carrying a gun was legal in my country but it isn’t. Women are utterly defenseless here.
Ew I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hate how that dude talked down to you and then tried violating you and then tried having sex with you? It's so weird, like pick a vibe my guy. They're so f*ckin gross I swear, I honestly would've kicked him in the nuts.
It's almost like your voice got in the way of him trying to fully objectify you, he put you down and tried turning it into a one night stand because he didn't respect you.
I literally would've made blood come out of his face after that.
Arab guys are fuckin annoying, I'm Puerto Rican and french but I'm primarily white(oliveish skin) and curvy with dark hair and men of color literally think it's free real estate because I'm not perfectly white. Arab ones will literally sexually harass me on the first week of a job. They're just less shameless in believing that we're objects, meanwhile the white ones internalize it and plot murders later lol.
Men love pretending like attending the woke Olympics and being educated is going to somehow make you feel bad enough to sleep with them, like sorry we don't need to entertain every flavor of patriarchy for the sake of wokeness lmao.
Not to mention men of all colors see women of color as less worthy of respect and it's just infuriating being Puerto Rican (and other races) because we get all the lvm thinking we're a universal fit for their low value bullshit.
Stay safe! Bring a box cutter around if you need to feel safe, say it's "for work", I know how the constant paranoia is, we're too goddamn beautiful for this shit planet lol
Gross, indeed.
Unfortunately, you'll find this kind of behavior in most places in the U.S. Big cities, small towns, liberal cities, conservative cities--you can't avoid it. I'm in my late 30s and have had to put up with a lifetime of transgressions like the kind you described. It doesn't really get better.
I don't know what to tell you except to say that we, on this forum, stand behind you in solidarity.
Pushy, greasy, unhygienic and drunk? Sounds like a prize! 😱 🤢
(JK, he sounds absolutely nasty, I'm glad you could at least get away from him to get back home safely!)