Signs of a Pornsick Scrote - before you get involved with him

A former acquaintance, as I have found out recently, had turned out to be addicted to porn.

He was a former colleague at a place I did a work attachment in five years ago. We were on casual terms, and hang out pretty much always in large group settings only. At that point, he appeared to have no obvious red flags. We were colleagues for one year, before I moved to another city and we parted ways, but we kept in contact on Insta, Twitter and Facebook. He would respond to my posts and vice versa. We never talked about anything personal.

Sometime last summer was when things got weird.

He ramped up the frequency of his interactions with me. He started asking personal questions, like where I would be working in the coming year. He started taking his interactions with me into my DMs. I could feel that he was homing onto me.

Before the summer holidays started, he suddenly asked me out. He said his mother had gotten some free tickets to a comic book event and said "he was wondering if i was interested. he might go check it out." (exact words) That event was a one day, one time slot event, meaning he was definitely asking me to go with him. I turned him down. He started a sob story about he was on a work trip in my city and had to live with his colleagues on on-site accomodation, and it was bringing him bad memories. I ignored him.

He continued messaging me, in chronological order, he i) asked me out again to another event, ii) kept "hinting" that summer holidays in XXX location would be fun, then eventually iii) "ENDED WORK! When do auditors (my occupation) end work for summer?" I did not respond at all but eventually decided enough was enough and blocked him on all channels, but not before tapping on his following list on IG to find out he follows 3K+ accounts of pole dancers, gymnasts, circus performers, naked "artsy" yoga girls, OF girls, anime girls, literal porn stars. Of note, one or two were accounts of LITERAL GIRL CHILDREN doing gymnastics. One was of images of women squeezed and contorted into tiny spaces. One was of images of a specific magic trick when a female performer gets "cut into half" and put back together. I found these through quick scrolling of the whole list and a random sampling, I don't even want to know what I'd find if I fucking tried to scrutinise.

The most obvious sign aside (i.e. following tons of porn stars, naked women or women engaging in a specific act), I want to highlight a few more traits of this man that, after months of reflection, I reckoned were tell-tale signs that he was troubled. Of course, many people do exhibit one or a few of such traits who are not porn addicts. Do examine the person in whole. If the vibes feel off, disengage immediately. 1. Dead Eyes. This guy had soul-less eyes, like he was always in a daze, even when he was smiling.

2. Suddenly Initiates Contact with a woman under suspicious circumstances. This point was probably the most critical factor that fueled my suspicion about him. He suddenly zoomed in on me, escalated interest in me, when it was near to the summer holidays (many FDS-ers have explained why asking you out during the holiday season is a red flag). When he was lonely at work, surrounded by male colleagues, with strict workplace rules (he probably couldn't jerk off). There was no significant event between us in these four years that could have sparked any attraction. Despite being turned down then ignored, his messages got more intense and frequent. If his intentions were purely platonic he would have respected that I was not interested in that particular event he asked me out on, and left me alone.

3. Apparent Inability to See How Others Perceive Him. He always seems to be in his own world, and his responses seem incongruent when the actions of others. This man was your typical "nerd" who is into "nerdy interests". He was this way when I first met him. However, he would keep talking about it, respond with some Star Wars reference that nobody understood when the conversation was about something else. There was once at a work function he volunteered to go on stage to tell a joke, he told many and everyone was awkwardly silent cos nobody understood him. He didn't catch on and went on rambling for 15 minutes. This could be a sign of self-centredness and inability to connect with others, either way, not a good indicator even if he wasn't pornsick. 4. Seems to be overly enthusiastic a social justice warrior, even on issues that were not relevant to the society we were in. While many civil rights movements and calls for equality are relevant in most parts of the world, some movements remain specific to the society it originated from. He would hijack a movement, even if it had no real relevance to the country we lived in, and share fundraising links, start a website, start hashtags etc. On one of my birthdays, he wished me happy birthday, and said that it must be my biggest birthday present that a certain law had passed in a city I used to live in (I mentioned my views about it ONE TIME on Facebook). He calls himself a feminist.

These could be a cover to his guilt and shame, traits often developed by porn addicts. 5. Is reclusive. When I first met him, he was quite social. He had friends and would share pictures of them hanging out etc. Over the course of five years, he seemed to share them or talk about his friends less and less. While is normal for friendships to dwindle in adulthood, this guy has never tried to reconnect with our mutual friends when I asked. His posts on social media seem more and more niche and eccentric (talking abt Starwars or Marvel or some odd event happening in Medieval Europe). Never about friends, and only about his mother or sister when someone else does get featured on his SM. Likely, all that time is spent on his addiction. Please share some thoughts on this list and add more points. In conclusion, many of the most horrific crimes take place purely for the murderer to get his dopamine rush, a release, which he was only able to get from consuming the most depraved form of porn possible. We as women need as many tools as we can identify pornsick scrotes early. Pornsick scrotes are not friendship material, let alone boyfriend material. Stay safe queens.