I would think a man who never cries (I'm talking about in a long term relationship and not just the early dating phase) would be emotionally unavailable or stunted in some way. Sure, most men are raised in a way where they are supposed to be strong and tough and not show emotion, but I've found that these are the same men who have absolutely no empathy or ability to comfort you when YOU cry. They see your tears as "manipulation" and will withdraw completely from you because they don't know what to do.
Obviously, no man should be just whining all the time or emotionally dumping his problems on you expecting you to be his therapist. But being able to express negative emotions in a healthy way is a green flag. In fact, part of my vetting always includes asking men what they thought of the Pixar movie "Coco" and finding out if it made them cry. If they haven't seen it, we watch it together and I see if he cries 🤣 Lmfao but seriously idk any emotionally available person who didn't bawl at the end of that one
"Coco" wrecked me, especially because it came out shortly after my father died. I don't think I know a single adult person who wasn't crying or at least had tears in their eyes by the end of it (kids seem to handle it better, maybe because they don't completely get the ending). It's a beautiful, beautiful movie and the music is fantastic, too.
Excessive, manipulative crying over nothing is obviously gross, but a man who never cries would creep me out, too.
If you don't cry when something genuinely sad and devastating happens (e.g. a relative or beloved pet dies), I assume something is seriously wrong with you.
Honestly I'd love to hit my abusive ex. With a baseball bat. With rusty spikes. With poison on them. ❤️
Unknown member
4d
Replying to
Holy shit, this.
Or men who claim that things are "unfair" for them just because they aren't inside you.
Unknown member
7d
What? This doesn't sound like anything FDS has ever taught. Yes, it's ok for men to cry. Come on.
The context is important. If he's crying to be manipulative, not ok. If he's crying all the time and wanting support, but then doesn't offer it to you when you need it, not ok. If he's crying because you guys watched a sad movie, then yes that's completely fine.
Since men tend to avoid crying (or simply find it hard to do), I know that culturally it's a bit shocking/surprising when they do it. For me I feel that when they do it in front of you, it usually is something that is genuinely touching them deeply. However, the context really matters. I think it should be obvious that something like your husband you've known for years breaking down in front of you because he just learned that someone close to him passed away, is not the same as a man that you've gone on a few dates with suddenly bursting into tears because he starts talking about his ex.
It's good that we all eventually learn how to be vulnerable with the people that we're close to and feel safe with, and tbh I find most men that never ever cry are definitely emotionally stunted in some way, even if they might have a reason. But extremes aren't great, neither is someone who cries very easily in front of people they don't know very well, or someone who is still new to your overall social bubble constantly coming to you for validation and free therapy, dumping emotions and trauma etc. on you. Context matters; there's levels for what is considered reasonable behavior vs how well you know someone. Even if I met a girl for the first time and she immediately started dumping on me and burst into tears, whether it was genuine or not, I would question her mental health/emotional regulation.
So, although appropriate displays of vulnerability can be a good sign within the right context, you also don't want someone where the displays seem more like emotional manipulation either. There's def guys who put on the sad boy act for attention and sympathy and because they know some women might just blindly think any and all male crying is good since men never cry. Again, beware of the extreme ends of the spectrum.
There are men who wouldn't even cry when someone close to them die. That's also scary, almost psychopathic behavior.
6
Unknown member
7d
One time I was very mad at a guy and he pretended to get a call from his dad and cried. I was unfortunately manipulated and tried to comfort him. Men can weaponize tears.
5
Unknown member
Nov 27
I don't draw a hard line at crying, but I've never dated a man who cried excessively.
If his crying gives you the ick, then dump him. He's not going to stop being a crybaby just because you don't like his crying. Block and delete.
That's been a major issue for me too during dating. The man usually ends up crying or trying to confide in me emotionally for the emotional labor but does absolutely nothing for me of value. AKA free therapy session. That's been my cue to distance myself or establish boundaries but then they realize I dont fw them like that. i have my own issues too and traumas, we aren't special for that unfortunately thats our own issues to deal with
trying to coddle any man is going to be a net negative experience for you
and then the man gets to go off acting healed and scouting other women to see what other free services there are: sex, money, bangmaid, baby momma, etc.
5
Unknown member
4d
Sus out of the tears are authentic.
If he's crying over something actually sad, he might be a keeper. If he's faking, that means he will weaponize fake emotions against you.
If the tears are real, still be careful. A male ego on top of female emotions is dangerous for a woman.
OP is a male troll. He had a post the other day where he was trying to bait us into saying insane things in support of women abusing their boyfriends. He deleted it after I called him out for it.
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I would think a man who never cries (I'm talking about in a long term relationship and not just the early dating phase) would be emotionally unavailable or stunted in some way. Sure, most men are raised in a way where they are supposed to be strong and tough and not show emotion, but I've found that these are the same men who have absolutely no empathy or ability to comfort you when YOU cry. They see your tears as "manipulation" and will withdraw completely from you because they don't know what to do.
Obviously, no man should be just whining all the time or emotionally dumping his problems on you expecting you to be his therapist. But being able to express negative emotions in a healthy way is a green flag. In fact, part of my vetting always includes asking men what they thought of the Pixar movie "Coco" and finding out if it made them cry. If they haven't seen it, we watch it together and I see if he cries 🤣 Lmfao but seriously idk any emotionally available person who didn't bawl at the end of that one
I think it depends on the context.
Excessive, manipulative crying over nothing is obviously gross, but a man who never cries would creep me out, too.
If you don't cry when something genuinely sad and devastating happens (e.g. a relative or beloved pet dies), I assume something is seriously wrong with you.
I had a guy cry on a date when I set a boundary. That shit's manipulative.
A man who say, lost a parent in an accident should be able to cry. Why shouldn't he?
What? This doesn't sound like anything FDS has ever taught. Yes, it's ok for men to cry. Come on.
The context is important. If he's crying to be manipulative, not ok. If he's crying all the time and wanting support, but then doesn't offer it to you when you need it, not ok. If he's crying because you guys watched a sad movie, then yes that's completely fine.
Since men tend to avoid crying (or simply find it hard to do), I know that culturally it's a bit shocking/surprising when they do it. For me I feel that when they do it in front of you, it usually is something that is genuinely touching them deeply. However, the context really matters. I think it should be obvious that something like your husband you've known for years breaking down in front of you because he just learned that someone close to him passed away, is not the same as a man that you've gone on a few dates with suddenly bursting into tears because he starts talking about his ex.
It's good that we all eventually learn how to be vulnerable with the people that we're close to and feel safe with, and tbh I find most men that never ever cry are definitely emotionally stunted in some way, even if they might have a reason. But extremes aren't great, neither is someone who cries very easily in front of people they don't know very well, or someone who is still new to your overall social bubble constantly coming to you for validation and free therapy, dumping emotions and trauma etc. on you. Context matters; there's levels for what is considered reasonable behavior vs how well you know someone. Even if I met a girl for the first time and she immediately started dumping on me and burst into tears, whether it was genuine or not, I would question her mental health/emotional regulation.
So, although appropriate displays of vulnerability can be a good sign within the right context, you also don't want someone where the displays seem more like emotional manipulation either. There's def guys who put on the sad boy act for attention and sympathy and because they know some women might just blindly think any and all male crying is good since men never cry. Again, beware of the extreme ends of the spectrum.
There are men who wouldn't even cry when someone close to them die. That's also scary, almost psychopathic behavior.
One time I was very mad at a guy and he pretended to get a call from his dad and cried. I was unfortunately manipulated and tried to comfort him. Men can weaponize tears.
I don't draw a hard line at crying, but I've never dated a man who cried excessively.
If his crying gives you the ick, then dump him. He's not going to stop being a crybaby just because you don't like his crying. Block and delete.
That's been a major issue for me too during dating. The man usually ends up crying or trying to confide in me emotionally for the emotional labor but does absolutely nothing for me of value. AKA free therapy session. That's been my cue to distance myself or establish boundaries but then they realize I dont fw them like that. i have my own issues too and traumas, we aren't special for that unfortunately thats our own issues to deal with
trying to coddle any man is going to be a net negative experience for you
and then the man gets to go off acting healed and scouting other women to see what other free services there are: sex, money, bangmaid, baby momma, etc.
Sus out of the tears are authentic.
If he's crying over something actually sad, he might be a keeper. If he's faking, that means he will weaponize fake emotions against you.
If the tears are real, still be careful. A male ego on top of female emotions is dangerous for a woman.
OP is a male troll. He had a post the other day where he was trying to bait us into saying insane things in support of women abusing their boyfriends. He deleted it after I called him out for it.
depends on the reason why he cries
Men are so manipulative they probally weaponize there crying. I just don’t know, I do think you shouldn’t cut it off immediately see where things go.