Should I ghost him?

I made a post a few days ago and accidentally deleted it quickly.

I am talking to a foreign guy who visits my country. We both have the same disabilities.

I want to move abroad, I have a few countries in my list. But it is difficult. My country has huge stigma and little support for disabilities. Also the men here have been very mean and disrespectful to me so I have tried to go for foreign guys but it never succeeds. And if they live away they just use me, they don't do LDRs. Men don't put the same effort in romance.

This guy is my age, 23. He has a female cousin he's very close with and he flirts with her friends. He also thinks of himself as charming and good looking

He is at a bad place now and trying to get better. I feel like he will use me as free therapy and then when he gets better he will get a girlfriend in his area. His country has huge support on disabilities. So lucky.

It hasn't been a long time since we started talking, we agreed on being friends. I am very happy cause guys here dislike me a lot. But I feel like it just won't work, on his part. Should I cut contact or ghost him before I get super attached?

10 answers0 replies

Comments (10)

Opossum my possum

Jun 29, 2023

See it as what it is. He's using you as a texting ego boost and you're doing the same to him but you might catch feelings and actually feel betrayed and hurt when he gets a gf. If you stay in touch with him never text him first and never trust him with your emotional needs (like using him as a therapist our someone to vent to). Never use him as part of your plan to relocate, men will use you until there's nothing left of you. Never let him hang out with you 1 on 1 unless it's an explicit date. But I don't see him as dating material because he has a player personality and you're part of his game.

I think you need to figure out how to replace him with a HVW or a girl gang that can fulfill this friendship need for you. Idk if you have anything like an online discord or forum for other people with your disability that you can connect to. You need girl friends!! Then you can date seriously and look for good men when you relocate.

Unknown member

Jun 29, 2023

Replying to

I feel like most guys our age are like that. Not an excuse, just that they have a bad idea of what dating and flirting is. The goal is to "get girls", "pick up chicks" and easy fun.

Unknown member

Jun 29, 2023

Replying to

I would advise against meeting up 1 on 1 with him. It's been my experience that if you meet up 1 on 1 with a man, he'll take that as an expression of interest. Also his sibling is a complete stranger to you so him asking a sibling along doesn't make it any safer for you. If you feel the need to bring someone along, it should be someone that YOU know and trust.

TBH OP, I would strongly advise against meeting up with him. This whole thing sounds kind of suspect. Meeting up with a strange man in a foreign country is very risky and is often a way by which women are abducted. Also it's been my experience that most men are not interested in platonic relationships with women. They'll CLAIM that they just want to be friends, but then they'll keep pushing your boundaries until they get you in bed with them. At least, that's been my experience. Please stay safe OP!

Opossum my possum

Jun 29, 2023

Replying to

I'm sorry yeah men are very low empathy and don't give us compassion. Unfortunately they are very good at pretending to be compassionate which is what I think this guy is doing to you.

My rules for male friends is to never reach out to them first and never ever to hang out 1 on 1 with them. I'll only see a man 1 on 1 who asks me on a proper date or a trusted male family member. I had to learn this rule the hard way because I used to try to have male friends when I was younger. They always wanted to use me for sex and to fulfill their emotional needs when I genuinely and naively just wanted a friend.

Remember male attention means NOTHING. Their friendships are less valuable because they like to use us.

otoronga

Jun 29, 2023

•

please read the FDS Handbook and DECENTER MEN.

Unknown member

Jun 29, 2023

Replying to

maybe I need to read it regularly.

I haven't dated in 2 years, I tried to take a break

creamtart

Jun 29, 2023

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TL; DR

Answer to your question: yes.

Unknown member

Jun 30, 2023

yes

voltareine.tian

Jul 02, 2023

Please cut contact. You deserve someone who will make it clear that you're a priority in their life.

Should I ghost him?

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